


Turn Around

by Skyshadow3246, Wolfloner



Series: Finding Beauty in Negative Spaces [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, BUT ONLY ONCE, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Biting, Blindfolds, Blowjobs, Bottom Loki (Marvel), Bottom Tony Stark, Canon-Typical Violence, Cinnamon Roll Peter Parker, Coming Untouched, Dildos, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Lovers, Established Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Eventual Peter Parker/Wade Wilson, Extremely Dubious Consent, Fear Play, FrostIron - Freeform, Gender Identity, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Hand Jobs, Hetero Sex, Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, Light Masochism, Light Sadism, Loki (Marvel) Has Issues, Lovers to Friends, M/M, Magic, Mild Alcohol Abuse, Mild Blood, No Kink Negotiation, Nonnegotiated Kink, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Overstimulation, POV Peter Parker, POV Tony Stark, Past Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Slow Burn, Spidey Senses, Spit As Lube, Threats of Violence, Tony Stark Has Issues, Top Loki (Marvel), Top Tony Stark, background Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, implied suicidal ideation, informed consent all other times, nonnegotiated scene, not the sex, safeword establishment, sex happens very quickly, the feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-12 23:12:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 39,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15350838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyshadow3246/pseuds/Skyshadow3246, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner
Summary: Chronologically the first part ofFinding Beauty in Negative Spaces.This covers the first eight months of Loki living at The Avengers Tower, and how he very slowly earns Tony's trust.Also there's a lot of sex.Tags will be updated as each chapter is posted. :)





	1. April

**Author's Note:**

> OH BOY, here we go! The long awaited (by like 5 people, idk) fic that explains "How did we get here?"
> 
> A huge giant THANK YOU to my friend, K. This wouldn't exist without her. Well, it might, but it would probably be bad.
> 
> And another thank you to everyone who takes the time to leave a Kudos and/or comments. I love each and every one of you. <3

_ Turn around and face this _

_ All your fear misplace it now _

_ If I care too much and break this _

_ You will find a nameless foe _

\--Seether, “Turn Around”

  
  


 

It was far too early in the morning for this, as far as Tony was concerned. Any time was too early--or too late--for this, though. 

 

JARVIS had barely had time to wake him up--to warn him-- before something that sounded far too much like an explosion happened in his living room. It was Thor, Tony knew, because JARVIS had said so. That didn’t stop his heartbeat hammering in his chest, and it didn’t stop the way his whole body went cold, and it didn’t stop the way he couldn’t catch his breath for the better part of a minute.

 

It was only once he had recovered enough that he trusted in his ability to walk that he ventured out of his bedroom, clad only in boxers. If Thor was going to show up and wake him up, he could just deal with whatever state of undress Tony was in, damn it.

 

Except Thor wasn’t alone. He was pretty sure it was Thor, at least. He was wielding an axe instead of a hammer, had short cropped hair, and was missing an eye. He recognized Bruce though. Standing there in what Tony was pretty sure were his own clothes, looking apologetic. There was a woman with them, her hair in a tight ponytail, clad in leather and metal--Asgardian armor, Tony guessed. Standing at the back of the group, and looking thoroughly unimpressed with his lot in life, was Loki. In his living room. Glaring at him.

 

“What the fuck?” Tony finally asked.

 

“Stark!” Thor threw his arms open in greeting, and Tony just let him hug him. 

 

“Hey, Tony.” Bruce was managing a smile.

 

“Bruce! Hi. Been a while.” Tony replied after Thor had released him. “Where have you been?”

 

“I’m afraid that’s a story for another time, Stark.” Thor interrupted. 

 

Tony did his best to ignore the way Loki was taking in his surroundings.  _ You know where you are you piece of shit _ , he thought bitterly. Instead he focused on the woman. “Fine. Who’s this?”

 

The woman didn’t move towards him, and instead greeted him with a nod. “I am Brunnhilde.”

 

“She’s a Valkyrie!” Thor said, excitement and reverence in his voice. As if that were supposed to mean a single thing to Tony; aside from yet another mythological thing that apparently existed, because somehow that was his life now.

 

“Cool,” he said, nodding. “I have…” He had a lot of questions, is what he had. Where did Thor’s eye go? His hair? Why was Bruce with him? Why was  _ Loki  _ with them. He glanced around at the group again, trying to decide what the most important question was. “What’s going on? Why...Why are you here?”

 

“Thor, well, no, we,” Bruce started, looking uneasy, “we have a request.”

 

Tony stared at Loki. “What kind of request?”

 

Thor opened his mouth, but Bruce held his hand up, shaking his head at Thor. “A bunch of Asgardians have come to Earth, seeking asylum,” Bruce explained. “For, uh, reasons, we think it might be in everyone’s best interest if Loki’s...not there.” 

 

“Why is that my problem?” Tony crossed his arms. He should have gone ahead and suited up. “Send him back to Asgard. That’s what we did last time, right?” It was then that Tony noticed how Brunnhilde was standing. She looked calm and composed, but her stance--she was ready for a fight, should the need arise. He was pretty sure if she moved, she’d be going after Loki.

 

“That isn’t possible,” Bruce said, quietly. Thor looked kind of sad as Bruce spoke, “Asgard is…” Bruce paused. “We can’t leave him there.”

 

“So, what? Instead you brought him  _ here _ ? Why?”

 

“Here at The Tower, he can be monitored. Watched over.”

 

Tony turned to stare at Thor. No. No fucking way. He laughed. He couldn’t not laugh. There was no way they were serious. “No. Absolutely not. Fuck off.”

 

“Stark--”

 

“Tony--”

 

“NO. No chance in Hell is he staying here.”

 

“I told you all this was a waste of time,” Loki drawled. “I’m not a child. I don’t need to be  _ monitored _ . I will be fine on my own.”

 

“Or. And I’m just spitballing, here. Given that Loki is a fucking psychopath, and a murderer--didn’t he even attempt  _ genocide _ ?--maybe we should consider something besides imprisonment. Like execution?” 

 

Tony could see Loki smirking as Thor took a step forward. The energy in the room shifted, and he could see the static sparking across the god. Tony took a step back. There was no way he could call his armor in time, so he held his hands up.

 

“Maybe Stark is right, brother.” Loki chimed in. “Maybe I’m too dangerous to just be locked away, and you should execute me.”

 

“Loki, for God’s sake, be quiet.” Bruce, in a moment of either incredible courage, or incredible stupidity, stepped between Thor and Tony. “We’re not  _ killing him _ , Tony.” The crackles of static subdued. “It’s a long story, but try to trust when I say that I’m confident Loki isn’t going to cause more problems.”

 

“ _ Trust _ ?” Loki asked. “I don’t need his trust. Or his mercy.”

 

“Look, he helped us escape Sakaar,” Bruce spoke over Loki.

 

“I helped  _ myself _ escape.”

 

“He fought alongside us, against Hela and her undead army,” Bruce continued.

 

“Yeah, for all the good that did.” Loki looked on edge. Which put Tony on edge.

 

“He risked his life to resurrect Surtur,” Thor reasoned. “He stood proudly by my side as I was crowned king of Asgard.”

 

What the fuck had happened in the two years since Tony had seen them? A lot, apparently, if even Bruce was defending Loki. But there was no way. He focused again on Loki, “And what, you think this little diva is ok with being back in big bro’s shadow?”

 

Loki took a step forward, heedless of how Brunnhilde tensed, “Stark, if you think for an instant that I’m in Thor’s shadow--”

 

“Without him the whole of Asgard would have been killed.” 

 

Loki turned his attention from Tony to Thor. “Exactly. I’ve done nothing wrong. I don’t deserve to be  _ imprisoned _ .”

 

Thor deflated, just slightly. “Loki, this is for your safety--”

 

“Excuse me?” Tony interjected. “Maybe  _ I _ don’t feel safe with the lunatic who threw me out a window?” He pointed towards the offending window. “That one, in fact. Does no one remember that?”

 

“I remember it.” Green eyes held his, Loki’s mouth twisted into a wolfish grin. “And I can’t promise there won’t be a repeat performance of that little show if I’m left here. I am curious to find out if Stark has perfect flying yet. Or maybe my second attempt will be more successful.”

 

Brunnhilde moved then. In the next instant she was beside Loki, holding tightly to his arm, and whispering something in his ear. Loki’s eyes went wide, and Tony could see the blood drain from his face. When she pulled back, Loki just stared at her.

 

Thor looked back at the exchange. “Brunnhilde. What did you say?”

 

She shrugged, releasing Loki’s arm. “Convinced him to behave.”

 

Tony could see the rage and fear warring in Loki’s eyes. He was rapidly clenching and unclenching his fists. Shaking ever so slightly, breathing not quite right. Tony recognized it all to well. Anxiety attack. Whatever she’d threatened him with, Loki was  _ afraid _ . More than that, he was panicking. Tony knew Loki didn’t want to be here. Didn’t want to be caged in. Hated the idea. Hated everyone in the room. But whatever Brunnhilde had suggested was  _ worse _ . Part of Tony was glad: Loki  _ should _ suffer, after all of the things he’d done. But another part, a part that he couldn’t convince to quiet down, hated seeing anyone look like that.

 

“Fine.” He said, suddenly, surprising even himself. “Fucking,  _ fine _ . JARVIS, pick out an unoccupied floor. Monitor everything Loki does. I want hourly reports.”

 

“Right away, Sir.”

 

Loki looked--Tony wasn’t sure how to describe it. Angry. Defeated. Hurt. But he remained silent as Thor gently placed a hand to his back and walked him to the elevator, following JARVIS’s directions.

 

Once the elevator door closed, Tony let out a long sign. “You know, right, that I don’t actually have any way of keeping Loki here against his will, right?” He looked from Bruce, who looked relieved, to Brunnhilde, who was smirking.

 

“I’ve got you covered.” She strode over to him and pressed something--two somethings--into Tony’s hand. One was a small silver disk, about the size of a half-dollar, and the other was a small black remote. “Just stick this on him,” she gestured to the disk, “and he’ll behave. He can’t take it off himself. And that remote will work from just about anywhere on the planet.”

 

Without a better word of explanation, she turned and left, following after Thor to the elevator. 

 

Bruce looked down at the disk and the remote. “Don’t.” He said. “Unless we have no other options, don’t use it.”

 

“What is it?”

 

Bruce met his gaze, “a torture device.”

 

* * *

 

Tony followed Bruce’s advice, and locked the items Brunnhilde had gifted him down in his lab. He wanted to study them once had time. But for now his attention was focused on Loki.

 

For all the good that did him.

 

For an entire week, JARVIS’s reports were largely the same. Loki wasn’t really doing  _ anything _ . He had a journal that he would write in occasionally--not in a language JARVIS could decipher--and he had a few books he seemed to be reading. He had even turned on the television a couple of times. Never let it be said that Tony didn’t provide his guests comfort. Loki seemed to eat, drink, piss, and sleep, roughly on the same schedule as any human might. 

 

But at the end of the week, JARVIS’s report was different. “Sir, I don’t wish to alarm you, but it seems that Loki has disappeared.”

 

Tony was alarmed. Was very alarmed. And couldn’t get a hold of Thor. He’d given him a cell phone and everything, but it didn’t do him any fucking good if Thor wouldn’t  _ answer it _ .

 

He spent hours scouring the news for any sign or sight of the vanished god. Nothing. There was nothing. And just as Tony was ready to suit up and start looking for himself, JARVIS let him know that, “Loki has returned to his room.”

 

Tony wasn’t taking any chances this time. He hadn’t interacted with Loki since Thor had brought him to the tower, and that was by design. He was suited up and ready for a fight, if Loki was going to give him one. He slammed the door to the suite open as he stalked his way inside, only to find Loki sitting quietly on the couch, book in hand. He glanced up, unperturbed by Tony’s loud entrance.

 

“Can I help you? Are you lost, Stark?”

 

“What did you  _ do _ ?” 

 

Loki narrowed his eyes and set the book down. “I haven’t  _ done _ anything.”

 

“Where the hell did you go?”

 

Loki rolled his eyes. “What are you going on about? I’ve been right here. Where I’m supposed to be.”

 

“Bullshit. You were gone for  _ hours _ . Where. Did. You. Go?” Tony punctuated each word with another step closer to Loki.

 

Loki’s eyes widened. “Shit,” he whispered. “Fine, then. Nowhere important.”

 

“Try again.” Tony was in front of him now.

 

“Excuse me?” Loki remained sitting, but Tony could see his eyes darting around the room, probably planning an escape route.

 

“You didn’t disappear just to go “nowhere important”, asshole.”

 

“There was nothing  _ there _ .” Loki said suddenly. “Nothing  _ left _ .” Loki’s voice cracked, and Tony just stared at him. But the moment of vulnerability was gone as quickly as it came. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not going back.” Loki reopened his book, and stared at the page, not reading it.

 

“You can’t just fucking leave and expect--”

 

“It won’t happen again.” Loki stated.

 

Tony frowned. Didn’t like this one bit. He was absolutely certain it  _ would _ happen again. He had to do something about it.

 

* * *

 

Tony still couldn’t get a hold of Thor. So he called in the rest of the Avengers, the ones who had dealt with Loki before. Bruce, Steve, Clint, and Natasha. Peter had also barged his way into coming, although Tony wasn’t sure who had even told him about the meeting.

 

“The  _ fuck _ do you mean that Loki’s HERE?” Clint was on his feet, shouting. “What the fuck, Tony? You don’t think maybe you should share things like that, before inviting us over? You just lining us all up to get killed?”

 

“Clint, calm down.” Bruce tried.

 

“I will  _ not _ calm down. This is bullshit!”

 

“Clint is right. Tony, what the hell?” Natasha had her arms crossed, she looked irritated. Which probably meant she’d already figured out several ways to kill him. Awesome.

 

“Nat, it’s not as bad as it sounds.” Bruce going up to bat for Loki was never going to feel normal, Tony decided. “He didn’t actually do anything, did he? I mean, yeah, he left, but he also came back. And we haven’t been able to trace anything back to his disappearance, have we JARVIS?”

 

“We have not, Doctor Banner.”

 

“Sorry, Banner, but I’m with Clint and Nat on this one. Loki can’t just  _ be here _ , left to his own devices. Just because he didn’t do anything this time, doesn’t mean he won’t in the future.” Steve looked over at Tony. “Unless you’ve got a way to make sure he can’t leave?”

 

Tony did not have any way to make sure Loki leave. He didn’t really want to admit that, though.

 

“Um,” a quiet voice interjected, “but...he’s probably bored, right?”

 

“Bored?” Tony looked over to Peter.

 

Peter froze. “Sorry! Don’t mind me. I’ll just sit over here and--”

 

“No, go ahead, Peter. What were you saying?” Steve encouraged.

 

They were all looking at Peter, who looked desperately uncomfortable. Tony noted that Peter seemed to be doing his best to just look at him, “I mean. You’d be bored too, right Mr. Stark?” He quickly glanced over to Steve, then back to Tony, “That’s even what Steve said when Bucky came back, right? That he’d been bored without anything to do.” Steve looked thoughtful, and Peter continued, “And I mean. In some places, there are even laws. German and Austria, I think? That trying to break out of prison is legal? It’s human nature to want to escape. To be free.”

 

“He’s  _ not _ human.” Clint snapped.

 

“No, I know he’s not! And he did a lot of really horrible horrible things!” Peter looked torn between wanting to hide and wanting to be heard. “I’m just saying, that...maybe...if we gave him something to  _ do _ ?”

 

“What do you have in mind?” Steve asked, considering.

 

“Um...I don’t know. We could ask him?”

 

Tony hated to admit it, but Peter had a good point. He knew he’d be crawling up the fucking walls by this point. The suite he’d given Loki had books and a television, but that wasn’t really all that much in way of entertainment. He wasn’t sure that Loki really knew how to use the television, he’d never had it on for longer than ten minutes, or what kinds of books Loki actually liked reading. Or if he even liked reading at all, and wasn’t just trying to find ways to kill time.

 

Clint gaped at Tony and Steve. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this. You’re actually considering this. Taking advice from a  _ child _ ?” 

 

“That’s enough, Clint.” Bruce looked irritated. “Peter is right. We’ve been unintentionally cruel.”

 

“Unintentionally… fuck that.” Clint threw his arms in the air. “I’m out. Someone give me a call when you come to your senses. Leave me the fuck out of this.” Clint left, swearing all the way.

 

Tony looked to Natasha to see if she was going to follow him out. She looked unhappy, but didn’t move to leave. “I don’t like it.” She admitted. “But a bored Loki would definitely be a bigger problem for us.”

 

Tony ran a hand through his hair. “I guess I’ll go talk to him. See if we can figure something out.”

 

* * *

 

Peter insisted on joining Tony to visit Loki. The kid was curious, and Tony couldn’t really blame him. He didn’t have to like it, though. Peter was cradling a laptop in his arms. It was heavily encrypted, and the firewalls had firewalls, all with the intention of keeping Loki from learning anything they didn’t want him knowing.

 

Peter even convinced Tony to knock this time, although he still didn’t wait for Loki to answer before entering the room. He had expecting Loki to be eating, or reading, or napping. Instead he was watching television. Netflix, in fact. Tony stared at the screen as Loki paused the show he was watching. Loki was watching  _ Black Mirror _ . Ok then.

 

“Two visits in two days, Stark? Goodness, you’re spoiling me.” Loki’s smirk faded when he caught sight of Peter, who was mostly standing behind Tony. “Who’s this?”

 

Peter glanced over at the TV before stepping out from behind Tony--something Tony didn’t like at all. “Hi. I’m Peter Parker.”

 

Loki looked Peter up and down, looking confused. “Loki, of Asgard.”

 

Tony watched as Peter’s posture softened. “So, you’re living here now, right? I--We thought maybe you were getting bored?”

 

Loki’s eyes darted over to Tony, and then back to Peter. “And?”

 

“And… ok, I’m sorry. Meeting you is actually kind of freaking me out.” Peter glanced back at Tony. “You...you hurt a lot of people, didn’t you?”

 

Loki didn’t flinch. “I did.”

 

“Do you want to hurt more people?”

 

Tony’s fingers itched. He wanted to pull Peter out of the room and make sure Loki never set eyes on him again.

 

“Sometimes.” Loki admitted quietly. “It varies from moment to moment.”

 

Peter took a step forward. “What about right now? Scale from one to ten. One being...not at all, ten being...well, we’d already be dead, I guess.”

 

Loki smiled. It wasn’t a smirk or a sneer, but an honest smile. It didn’t comfort Tony in the least.

“You, a one.” He looked pointedly at Tony, “He’s around a five.”

 

Tony opened his mouth but Peter beat him to it. “Ok, cool. So a five doesn’t lead to death. Let me know if you hit above a six.”

 

Loki laughed. “I like you, Parker.”

 

“Peter is fine.” He glanced back at the TV. “Black Mirror, huh? Which episode?”

 

“It’s called Playtest.”

 

“Oh! That one’s so good!” Peter sat down on the couch, opposite from Loki.

 

“Peter. That’s not why we’re here.” Tony couldn’t believe how easily Peter had adjusted to the idea of interacting with Loki, with sitting down and watching television with him.

 

Loki’s smile faltered. “Right. Why are you here, Stark?”

 

“We brought you something!” Peter held out the laptop to Loki, who took it carefully. “It’s connected to the internet. We figured you were probably getting bored with not much to do, so we wanted to fix that.

 

“Oh. You probably don’t have the internet in Asgard, right? Sorry! It’s um.” Peter glanced back at Tony. “Mr. Stark, how would you describe the internet?”

 

“It’s a tool,” Tony said carefully. “You can watch movies. Read books. Do research--well, some research. There’s plenty of things you don’t get to know, so that laptop is encrypted to keep you out of it.”

 

Loki opened the laptop and stared at the screen for a moment. His eyes flickered over the keyboard.

 

“You use the trackpad,” Peter pointed to it, “to navigate around the screen. Then you have these two buttons here to click on things. Oh!” Peter pulled a piece of paper and a pencil from his pocket, quickly jotting something down. “Here’s my e-mail address and phone number. So if you get bored, or don’t understand something, you can ask me. JARVIS can help you, too.” Peter blinked. “Wait. Crap. I can show you what e-mail is. Do you have a phone?” When Loki shook his head, Peter turned to look at Tony. “Can Mr. Loki have a phone?”

 

Tony and Loki both just stared at Peter. “No.” Tony said after a moment. Loki looked stunned by Peter’s behavior. Tony couldn’t really blame him.

 

Tony also wasn’t inclined to try giving another Asgardian a lesson on how phones worked. Although Peter seemed up to it. Maybe he should have Peter talk to Thor, the next time he showed up. 

 

“Look. There’s credit card information saved on the computer. Use it. Buy some books. Or movies. Or whatever. Keep yourself entertained.”

 

Loki huffed at him. “Thank you, Peter. I appreciate your consideration for my well-being.”

 

Peter beamed. “So, how far into the episode are you--”

 

“Peter. We’re leaving.”

 

“What? No. Have you watched this episode, Mr. Stark? I think you’d really like it, too!”

 

Tony just glared at him until Peter gave him. “Fine,” he pouted. 

 

Once they were back in the elevator, Tony rounded on Peter. “What the hell was that? You gave him your e-mail address? Your  _ phone number _ ?”

 

Peter shrugged. “He needs a friend, Mr. Stark. And it’s not like he can hurt me through the computer or anything.”

 

This child was going to be the death of him, Tony just knew it.   
  


 

* * *

 

According to JARVIS, Loki had asked as few questions as he could, seeming to prefer figuring out how the computer worked on his own. He had also taken Tony’s offer to heart, and had purchased over a dozen books. Tony couldn’t make any sense of the pattern, it looked like everything from children’s books, to comics, to reference guides, and even one about Norse mythology. Which seemed largely unnecessary to Tony. But if it kept Loki out of trouble--and in The Tower--he wasn’t going to complain.

 

So Tony was now in the lab scanning and testing the silver disk he’d been given. Bruce hadn’t been able to tell him much, as he’d been Hulk through nearly all of his time on Sakaar. He’d done his best to fill him in on what had happened in the past few weeks. Who Hela was, who Surtur was, why the Asgardians had suddenly needed to find asylum. Bruce wasn’t sure what had happened to Odin, but he did confirm that Thor was now king. 

 

Tony knew that the silver disk could attach to skin, and send out some impressively high voltages. Even the lowest setting on the remote was registering at 600 volts. He turned it up to the max setting and shorted out the sensors, which did a lot to stall his research. But apparently even Hulk was wary of it, so he wasn’t terribly surprised by how quickly Loki had fallen in line when he’d been threatened with it.

 

It was just after Bruce left that JARVIS gave his hourly report--seven minutes late, Tony noted. “Sir, there has been a notable shift in Loki’s behavior this evening.”

 

Tony stopped what he was doing, froze. “What’s happening?”

 

“It seems that he is emotionally unstable. I do not currently believe him to be a danger to others, but… I fear he may be a danger to himself, Sir.”

 

Tony swallowed. So what if Loki hurt himself? Good. One fewer problem for The Avengers to deal with. “What’s he doing?”

 

“Drinking, at the moment.”

 

“Can he get drunk?”

 

“I believe we will know soon enough, Sir.”

 

Tony shifted. Didn’t like this. Didn’t like that he didn’t like this. He was in front of the elevator door and intending to go check on Loki before he stopped himself. Decided against it. Drunk Loki probably wasn’t something he would be equipped to deal with. “Keep an eye on him, JARVIS. Let me know if it gets worse.”

 

“Of course, Sir.”


	2. May

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, time to answer the age-old question: why did these two start fucking?
> 
> TW: dubious consent/rape
> 
> There is some _very_ dubious consent in the first scene. A trope I consider only existing in fiction. IRL this behavior would flat-out be rape. I do not condone this behavior in any way, but as this is a work of fiction I'm allowing myself to explore the concept.
> 
> If this is something that might bother you, you can skip down after  
>  _“Fine.” Loki bit out._ until the line break.
> 
> All other scenes involve informed consent.
> 
> /TW

_Settle down embrace this_

_Lock the doors and make this real_

_I'll find out wherever you are_

_I'll find where your base is_

\--Seether, “Turn Around”

  


**Peter**

 

It took everything Peter had not to kick the computer he and Bruce were crowded over. It wasn’t the computer’s fault that Tony had locked himself in his penthouse. It wasn’t the computer’s fault that they couldn’t break the lock he’d created. Even JARVIS couldn’t break through it, although Peter was pretty sure that had been planned. He’d created this protocol in case...in case what? Nothing good.

 

But Tony was up there, alone. The windows were blacked out. Even Sam and Colonel Rhodes had been unable to break in. They were pretty sure that they could blast their way in, but they were trying to avoid that, if possible. It was starting to look inevitable, though.

 

But hell. They must have been desperate if they’d even called sixteen-year-old Peter. Bruce had told him it was because, outside of Tony, he was the best with computers. That he knew more about Tony’s security systems than anyone else did. But he had failed. Repeatedly. Everything they tried kicked them back. It wasn’t asking for a password or an override code. It didn’t give them anything to work with at all.

 

When he got yet another error message, Peter couldn’t hold back his scream of frustration. Tony might be dying. Might be dead. Might be suicidal--was likely suicidal, if Peter was honest with himself. He couldn’t think of any other reason this protocol would have been created.

 

But there had to be _something_ Peter could do. Had to be. He couldn’t stand by and do nothing, damn it.

 

“I have an idea,” Peter said quietly. It was a longshot, but that was better than nothing, right? “I’ll be right back!” He yelled to Bruce before tearing down the hall, using every bit of speed his enhanced abilities gave him. He barely managed to stop before slamming into the elevator door.

 

He hit the number for Loki’s floor and waited. And waited. And waited. Nothing. The elevator didn’t move. Had the storm knocked it out? No, that was impossible. The Tower was powered by an Arc Reactor. He tried the next floor down--the elevator moved. “Are you kidding me?” He whined to no one in particular. Or to JARVIS, he supposed.

 

Peter grabbed his phone from his pocket and opened his e-mail app. Loki had managed to set up an account, and had even sent Peter a message. A simple “Thank You”, but still.

 

_Loki_

 

_Mr. Stark is in his penthouse. He’s locked all of us out. We’re worried. I’m worried. I’m so fucking scared._

 

_I know you hate us. And that you hate him. You have every right to. But please._

 

_Please help him._

 

_-Peter_

 

Peter hit send, before curling in on himself against the back of the elevator. He didn’t know if Loki even checked his e-mail. And if he did, would he even help? All Peter had to go on was that Loki had said he hadn’t wanted to hurt him. But he’d wanted to hurt Tony. And if Tony were gone, would Loki be free to leave? He didn’t know. He couldn’t see any other options, either.

  


**Tony**

 

A storm raged on outside. A _deluge_. That’s what Jarvis would have called it. Lightning broke across the sky, and thunder followed immediately. Close enough that Tony felt the room shake. He was in one of the tallest buildings in New York City, during one of the worst thunderstorms to hit the area in living memory. Objectively not a good place to be.

 

He didn’t care.

 

Pepper was gone.

 

Had left him.

 

Finally.

 

He knew it was going to happen, eventually. Nothing that good in his life would ever last. No one that good would ever stay. She said she loved him, but--

 

But.

 

But.

 

But Tony is no good. He’s worthless. Awful. Inattentive. Obsessive. Broken. Trash. It didn’t matter that she had never actually said those things. They both knew them to be true. She was just too kind. Would have seen the truth as a cruelty to say out loud.

 

His spiral of self-loathing was interrupted by a brief high pitched noise. He glanced up from the glass of whiskey he was holding. An alarm. Loki had left his floor. He closed his eyes. _Fuck_ . Of course the son of a bitch would pick _now_ to start shit.

 

But then he heard footsteps. His eyes popped open. Loki was standing in the middle of his living room. Looking down at him. Taking in the situation he had found. Tony curled up on the couch, a glass of whiskey in his hand, and a bottle of the same on the table in front of him. No television. No music. Just the sound of the rain, and Tony sitting in the darkness.

 

“The fuck are you--how did you even get up here?” Tony choked out. He tried to stand up, but the world swayed and he fell back onto the couch.

 

“I _did_ try the elevator first,” Loki told him. “JARVIS informed me that I’m not allowed to use it unescorted. So I used my magic, instead.”

 

“Great. Use your magic and fuck back off.”

 

Loki looked annoyed, which was ridiculous. He was the one trespassing. “I’m not here to harm you, Stark. The boy, Peter, he’s worried about you. Terrified for you. He asked me for help.” A pang of guilt hit Tony. He’d scared Peter. Loki glanced down at Tony’s whiskey, “Besides. I believe I’m still owed a drink.”

 

Tony just stared at him. Willed the world to stop spinning so that he could get his bearings, could put together what he was hearing. Peter was worried. Had asked Loki for help. How had he managed that? Loki had agreed? Was standing there telling Tony that he wanted to have a drink with him. “Fine.”

 

Loki sat on the couch right next to him, a glass appearing in his hand. He leaned across Tony to reach the bottle and poured himself a drink. The whole thing was completely unnecessary. There were other chairs--even chairs within reach of his booze. Even if Loki did just really want to sit on the couch, it was plenty big enough. There was no reason for him to be anywhere near that close to him.

 

“Tell me, Stark, do you often wallow in self-pity like this?”

 

Tony glared at him. “Don’t you?”

 

Loki laughed and drained his glass in one swallow. Poured himself another drink. He didn’t answer him, and Tony didn’t ask again.

 

They sat drinking, an awkward silence filling the room, until the sound of thunder crashed through the air. Tony was less surprised by the thunder than by Loki’s reaction to it. He had tensed up, jumped just a fraction. It looked like more than being startled. It made Tony wary. “You ok?” He asked, despite himself.

 

“Fine.” Loki bit out.

 

Suddenly Loki was impossibly closer, pressing his hand against Tony’s chest--avoiding the glow of the Arc Reactor. Loki was fast, and _strong_ and Tony couldn’t do much to withstand Loki shifting him until his back was pressed against the arm of the couch, and Loki was kneeling in front of him with a strange look on his face.

 

“The hell are you do-”

 

Loki was grinning, the hand not on Tony’s chest was between his legs pressing against his dick. “I feel like we could both use a distraction.”

 

Tony tried to sit up. Can’t. Not with Loki holding him down. “Stop,” Tony said as firmly as he could manage. But Loki’s hand was moving, fondling him through his jeans. And there was no way something like that should feel this good, but did. But this was _Loki_. Hand on his dick. Holding him down. Ignoring his protests. “Please. I don’t think--”

 

“That’s your problem, Stark,” Loki purred. “You’re always _thinking_ . For right now, just _feel_.”

 

Tony hates the groan that falls from his mouth. Hates how ridiculously overdressed Loki is. He reaches up and starts unbuttoning Loki’s shirt. Loki stilled for a moment before huffing out a small laugh. He helped Tony unbutton and remove his shirt before removing Tony’s t-shirt as well. His hand hesitated on the button on Tony’s jeans, but Tony’s reservations had faded. He was drunk and he was _hard_ and Loki was willing. He batted Loki’s hand away, undoing his own jeans, grateful when Loki helps him pull them down, tossing them to the side.

 

Loki was hovering over him again then, and Tony watched as he licked his hand. He opened his mouth to complain but Loki’s hand was on him again, and all he managed was a soft moan. Fuck it. Spit was fine. It wasn’t like he had any lube stashed away in the living room anyway.

 

Loki was stroking him, slowly and gently, and not nearly _enough_. He tried to form words, let out a whine instead. He could feel Loki’s erection through his pants, and that just wouldn’t do. He didn’t have the best range of motion in this position, but he could tug on Loki’s pants. “Off.”

 

The god grinned and pulled away. Tony whined at the loss of touch, even though it had been his idea. He wished he’d had a few lights on, so that he could _see_ as Loki shuffled out of his clothing.

 

Tony had expected Loki to return to his previous position, and let out a yelp when Loki grabbed his legs and pulled him forward, letting him drop until his back and head were flat against the couch, Loki kneeling comfortably between his legs. It wasn’t until he felt Loki press a finger against his hole that he figured out what the plan was. He jerked back, tense.

 

Loki held still. “What’s wrong? Never had sex with a man? How’d you think it worked?”

 

Tony could feel himself blushing. “I have,” he said, uncertain why he felt the need to defend himself. He _had_ had sex with men. Plenty of times. Not in a while, though. And not like _this_.

 

But he was grinning down at him again. “Ah. Never been fucked. Got it.” His expression softened, “I won’t hurt you.”

 

Tony kind of wants another drink. Or ten. Instead he got the pressure of one of Loki’s long slick fingers pressing into him. Where had Loki even gotten lube? Oh. Magic. Fucking magic bullshit. Of course.

 

He hadn’t been lying. Loki seemed to be going out of his way not to hurt Tony. Moving slowly and carefully. Pausing whenever Tony felt uncomfortable. He wasn’t sure how long Loki fucked him open with his fingers, but at some point one had become two had become three. Tony had covered his eyes with one arm, the other was holding tightly to the couch cushion. His erection had flagged some. It didn’t hurt, but it was weird. He could see how this could hurt. Horribly. How Loki could have held him down and made it hurt. But he hadn’t. He was gentle, and almost sweet. Tony didn’t know what do with that.

 

And then the fingers were gone and Tony missed them--he didn’t know what to do with that, either--but something else was taking their place. Tony blamed the alcohol for the delay before his brains supplied, _dick_. Loki’s dick was pushing into him, stretching him. It burned, but it didn’t hurt. Loki’s hand returned to his dick, and now Tony couldn’t help but feel that he was being absurdly gentle.

 

Loki was moving inside him, and he had stroked Tony back to full hardness, and this was weird, but kind of good, and then Loki brushed against what must have been his prostate because suddenly it was weird and _awesome_.

 

“I’m not going to break,” he muttered.

 

Loki stilled. “You sure? You humans are--”

 

“If you’re going to fuck me, _fuck me_.”

 

He heard Loki laughing, felt him shift, and then Loki slammed their hips together hard enough that Tony cried out, gasping as Loki pressed him harder into the couch, holding him there. The hand on his cock _demanding_ until Tony came, clenching around Loki’s dick, admiring the bitten back moan as Loki came inside him.

 

He wasn’t prepared for the sudden weight as Loki collapsed on top of him; he was heavier than he looked. Tony shifted until he could breathe easier, and then just laid there, panting, waiting for his heart to quit pounding, and his breathing to calm back down.

 

“Feel better?” Loki asked into his shoulder.

 

Tony did feel better, at least a little bit. At least for the moment. He managed a nod.

 

Loki was pulling out, standing up. He stared down at Tony like he had when he’d first appeared. He met Tony’s eyes for the first time that night, held them for several long seconds. And then he was gone.

 

Tony laid there for a bit longer, he wasn’t sure how long. Part of him wanted to try to process what had happened. Another didn’t. He eventually listened to the latter and dragged himself into the shower, letting the hot water soak into him.

 

He grabbed fresh clothes before turning off the Lockdown Protocol.

 

“I’m alright JARVIS,” he said quietly. “Let the others know... I want to be alone, but I’m alright.” He paused. “Tell them that I’m sorry.”

 

“Your message has been passed on, Sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

 

Tony shook his head. “No. I’m gonna try to sleep, I guess.”

 

* * *

 

Four days passed. Tony hadn’t slept. He’d barely eaten, except when JARVIS had reminded him to. He’s spent as much time as possible in his lab, working. Fixing things that probably didn’t need fixing. Fine tuning programming. Setting up new protocols for Peter’s suit, trying to think of as many possible ways someone might want to hurt him as he could. Tony wouldn’t let them.

 

He eventually ran out of things to do in the lab. The sleep deprivation impacting his ability to think. But he couldn’t stand still.

 

He was in one of the gyms--a common area--beating on a punching bag with all his might. He was probably liable to hurt himself, he knew, but he didn’t have the energy to care about that. Sitting still was torture, at least he was moving. He had fallen into a rhythm, one movement flowing into the next, his mind was finally quieting down.

 

“Sir, Loki has left his floor.”

 

“Mother _fucker_.” Tony growled. “I don’t have time for--”

 

“You apparently have nothing _but_ time, Stark.” Loki was behind him. “And right now you’re keeping me awake. Do you realize how _loud_ you are?”

 

“Bullshit.” Tony gave the bag one last good punch before turning around. “The floors are sound-proofed. You can’t hear shit up there.”

 

Loki stood there, dressed in grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt. The effect was so bizarre that Tony couldn’t help but laugh. He’d never seen Loki in anything but his armor, or else otherwise dressed so professionally that everyone else looked like they’d been caught in their underwear by comparison. Tony guessed he really had been trying to sleep.

 

“Sound-proofed by human standards, perhaps. But I can hear you down here, and I’d rather _not_.”

 

Tony frowned. Fuck him. He owned The Tower, he could do whatever he damn well pleased. “Just be glad you can sleep.” He muttered, turning away from Loki and back to the punching back.

 

Loki stalked off in a circle around him. “When was the last time you slept?”

 

 _Jab-right cross_ . “A while.” _Jab-cross-left hook_ . Five days? Six? Tony wasn’t sure anymore. _Jab-cross-hook-cross_ . Hadn’t slept since Pepper had left him. He’d tried. Over and over, he’d tried. But in the bed, he was _alone_ , and it was suffocating. _Jab-cross-left uppercut-cross_.

 

Loki was standing just barely in his line of sight, head tilted to the left, watching him. “I could help.”

 

 _Jab-right uppercut-left hook-right straight_. “Excuse me?”

 

“You need to sleep. I’m offering assistance.”

 

Tony let his hands fall. “You just want to fuck me again?”

 

“I wouldn’t be opposed to it, but that’s not quite what I had in mind.” Loki crossed his arms over his chest. “I am serious. You need to sleep. You’ll die at the rate you’re going.”

 

Tony huffed. “Sex isn’t going to help me sleep.”

 

Loki was walking closer to him, “No? What then?”

 

Tony didn’t answer. _Jab-jab-cross_.

 

Loki was beside him, standing carefully out of range of Tony’s punches. “Is it because you’re alone?” He asked quietly. “You’re struggling to fall asleep in an empty bed?”

 

Tony wasn’t sure if Loki was mocking him or not. The words sounded mocking, but the tone… he considered turning and punching Loki instead. He wondered how close he’d get before the god killed him.

 

He took Tony’s silence as confirmation, “Let me help.”

 

“Why? What do you get out of it?”

 

“You not keeping me up at all hours of the night.”

 

Tony narrowed his eyes at Loki. There was more to it, Loki didn’t have an altruistic bone in his body. “And?”

 

“And I enjoy fucking you,” Loki shrugged.

 

Tony pulled the boxing gloves off of his hands and began pulling the wrap off as well. It wasn’t like he hadn’t enjoyed it, too. In the worse-case scenario, he was still likely to get an orgasm out of it--or Loki would kill him, he supposed, which would be much worse--and best-case? He might actually get some sleep. “Alright. It can’t hurt, I guess.”

 

Loki was suddenly in his space, pulling the last of the handwrapping free. “Not unless you ask.” Tony’s mouth went dry at the suggestion and Loki chuckled at him. “You like the sound of that, Stark?”

 

Tony nodded as he lead the way to the elevator. “Not...not now, but--” He froze, realizing what he was implying.

 

But Loki let it go, didn’t push it. The teasing smile remained as he followed Tony to his bedroom, as they undressed, as he curled up by Tony’s side on the bed, his head resting on Tony’s stomach.

 

Long fingers ghosted across his thighs, his hip, moved to cup his balls. Loki was doing an excellent job touching everywhere but where Tony _wanted_ to be touched. He whimpered and as fingernails caught against his skin. Loki had even taken the bottle of lube Tony had handed him, but he wasn’t _using_ it. “Fuck, Loki,” he whined--fucking whined--and Loki only hummed in the return. The vibrations from it against his stomach made his dick twitch and fuck if that make any sense.

 

“Alright, I’ve had my fun,” Loki giggled, finally wrapping his hand around Tony’s dick. Living for a few hundred years must have given Loki a ton of practice, because holy shit. Tony found himself wishing he could see Loki’s face as he worked cock. Wanted to see Loki’s reactions to the sounds he was wringing out of him. Wanted Loki to see his reactions to what he was doing. Wanted Loki to watch as he came.

 

Loki flopped down on the bed next to him, grinning. With a flick of his hand the mess was cleaned up, which seemed like a superfluous use of his magic to Tony. But it was hard to complain as he felt himself relax into the bed, or as Loki pulled the covers up over him.

 

He did his best to give Loki a questioning look. “What about you?”

 

Loki just rolled his eyes, as if Tony’s suggestion was ridiculous. “Just go to sleep, Stark.”

 

It should be weird, Tony knew, laying in bed with Loki. Who didn’t care about him. Hated him. Probably wanted him dead, more often than not. But he wasn’t _alone_ , and that made things better. It let his mind quiet down. It let him finally _finally_ fall asleep.

 

* * *

 

Tony woke alone the next morning. Was it morning? The clock said it was nearly noon. Technically still morning. He felt surprisingly well rested given that he had gotten maybe 8 hours of sleep after being awake for several days.

 

He rolled onto his back, pulling an arm over to eyes to block out the sun shining in through the windows. The events of the last night crashed back over him. He’d had sex with Loki. Loki, the murderer. The man who’d tried to bring Earth to its knees. Who’d killed over a hundred people directly, and hundreds more by bringing the Chitauri with him. Who had attempted to orchestrate a genocide from Asgard. And Tony had had sex with him. Twice. Well, he’d been drunk the first time. So maybe that didn’t count. But he wasn’t drunk the second time. Loki had offered, and he’d just fucking jumped at the chance.

 

He took a long deep breath, trying to push back the panic that clutched at his chest. The worst part wasn’t that it had happened twice. The worst part was that he wanted it to happen _again_. He rolled onto his side and stared out the window. Watched as a flock of gulls dipped low over the water. He was unbelievably fucked in the head, he decided.

 

Eventually the need to piss outweighed his desire to stay curled up in bed, and he dragged himself free of the blankets. He used the restroom, showered, ate some toast, made sure to drink plenty of water alongside the mug of coffee. Tried to get himself to feel like normal.

 

He had a message on his phone. Peter telling him to have a good day. Sweet kid. Of course this situation was, at least a little bit, Peter’s fault. If he hadn’t convinced Loki to check on him--no. That wasn’t fair. It wasn’t Peter’s fault. It was no one’s fault but his own.

 

After a moment’s hesitation, he tapped out a quick message to Pepper,

_I hope you’re doing well._

 

It was barely a minute before his phone pinged.

_Are you? You scared everyone._

 

_Better now. I’ll be ok._

 

Pepper replied but Tony didn’t look at it. Instead he decided to focus his newfound motivation to ignoring the fact that he’d fucked Loki, and tried to be productive. He and JARVIS checked on the goings-on at Stark Industries--nothing terribly exciting. Their stocks had gone up, which was always welcome. He replied to Peter, telling him to have a good day, and to stay out of trouble. He learned that in the week that he’d been M.I.A. there had only been one Avengers-related thing to note, and Steve and Natasha had handled it. Which was good. But it still irritated him that they hadn’t even bothered to _tell him_ that something interesting was going on. He understood, but still. It was rude.

 

He managed to find enough things to check on that he killed four hours. He even ate lunch.

 

And then he found himself where he was this morning: needing to go deal with the Loki situation. He couldn’t just keep putting it off. Well, he could. He didn’t want to keep putting it off, he corrected. He kind of wanted to deal with it, even if he wasn’t sure what _dealing with it_ was going to look like.

 

He went downstairs and managed to stop himself from just opening the door. He knocked. Waited. Knocked again. Finally Loki opened the door. He didn’t greet him, or even move out of the way to let Tony enter.

 

Tony had kind of hoped he wouldn’t be in the hallway before saying this, but fine. It wasn’t like anyone else could even get to this floor. “If this is going to keep happening, it’s going to be on my terms.”

 

“...I see you got the rest you needed.”

 

“Fuck you.”

 

Loki smirked. “Maybe. Is that what you were referring to, Stark? If _that_ keeps happening?”

 

Tony pushed his way inside the room, and Loki let the door fall shut behind him. “Yes.”

 

He had barely had time to turn to face Loki before he was in his space, breathing his air. “You want it to keep happening.” It wasn’t a question.

 

Tony swallowed. He wished Loki wasn’t so much taller than him. It was only a few inches, but it was enough that in this position, Tony had to look up to maintain eye contact. “Yeah.”

 

“So,” Loki started, “what are your terms?”

 

Tony blinked, confused. “What. No. It’s an idiom, Loki. I didn’t mean literal terms. I just meant that, you can’t keep just...”

 

“Coming onto you?” Loki offered, “Why not? You enjoy it. I enjoy it. What’s the issue?”

 

Tony frowned, unsure how to answer. How to explain. So he didn’t. He grabbed two fistfulls of Loki’s shirt and closed the distance between them, pressing their mouths together in a hungry kiss. Loki’s mouth fell open in surprise, and Tony took advantage, licking into Loki’s mouth. The surprise was short lived, and Tony could feel Loki grinning against him before kissing back, one hand at the back of Tony’s neck, the other digging into his hair.

 

Loki bit at his lips, as aggressive in this as he was in everything else, but Tony could play at that game. He grabbed a handful of Loki’s hair at the back of his head, and gave a sharp tug. Loki gasped and pulled back, just enough could see his lust-blown pupils and the feral grin on his face. Tony recognizes that he might actually be in danger, but then Loki was dragging his nails down the back of his neck, and Tony couldn’t stop himself from rolling his hips against Loki’s if he’d wanted to.

 

“Bed?” Loki asked against his mouth.

 

“Yes.”

 

Loki let Tony guide him backwards into the bedroom, still exchanging kisses that are nearly more teeth than anything else. As soon as the back of Loki’s legs hit the bed their clothes disappeared.

 

“What the hell?” Tony asked, startled.

 

“Saves time.” Loki explained dragging Tony onto the bed with him.

 

“Magic?”

 

Loki scoffs, “Sorcery.”

 

Tony rolled his eyes and pushed Loki down onto the bed. He got the feeling that the distinction was important to Loki, but it was all one-and-the-same as far as he was concerned. He settled between Loki’s legs and just allowed himself to _look_. Loki had fairly sparse body hair, but what was there was dark and soft. His breath hitched when Tony ran his thumb over a nipple, so naturally he did it again to the other one.

 

“Stark.” Loki complained.

 

“Yeah?” He asked, running his fingernails down Loki’s sides, enjoying the way Loki squirmed under him.

 

“Get on with it.”

 

It was Tony’s turn to laugh, grinning openly at Loki’s look of frustration. He thought about staying there, just exploring all the ways Loki might reaction to his touch. But that could wait, he was pretty sure. And while a sexually frustrated Loki was fun, and _actually_ frustrated Loki probably wouldn’t be. So he moved downwards, dragging his fingernails across Loki’s skin as he moved, until his face was hovering over Loki’s cock.

 

It was probably a good thing he hadn’t actually gotten to look at it before Loki had suggested fucking him. _Now_ he knew how good it felt inside him, but he’s pretty sure he would have balked at the sight. He wasn’t going to balk now, though. He did his best to lock eyes with Loki has he took the head into his mouth and sucked.

 

Loki swore, Tony was certain. He couldn’t understand, or place the language, but he knew swearing when he heard it. He bobbed his head, slowly taking more and more of Loki into his mouth, wrapping his fingers around what wouldn’t comfortably fit. There was a time he was sure he could have taken it all, swallowed him down and let Loki fuck his throat. But that time wasn’t now, and Loki was far from complaining about what he _could_ manage right then and there.

 

Loki’s hand found his hair and held on tight. He didn’t push or pull at Tony, just held on, and scratched his fingers against Tony’s scalp. He let out a hum of contentment which earned a low groan from Loki.

 

“Stark, I’m close.” Loki warned. That was fine. He gave Loki a thumbs up, which had the god laughing through his orgasm. Tony swallowed most of it, and didn’t choke, so he considered that a win.

 

He grinned up at Loki. “There. Now we’re even.”

 

Loki mouthed “Even,” before falling into another fit of laughter.

 

Tony crawled back up the bed, and kissed him, gentler this time. Loki moaned as he licked into Tony’s mouth, tasting his own cum.

 

After a moment Loki pressed at Tony’s shoulder, making him break the kiss. “You’re still gonna fuck me, right?”

 

Tony took a moment to catch his breath. “If you still want me to.”

 

“Fuck yes I want you to.”

 

Tony had brought a bottle of lube with him. Had had it in his back pocket. And who knew where the fuck those jeans were _now_. Loki caught on to his thought process, and rolled to the side, pulling what was very possibly the same bottle of lube out of the bedside table.

 

He pressed it into his hand, “Since you seem to take issue with me using sorcery during sex. For some reason.”

 

“Not for _some reason_.” Tony explained spreading the lube over his fingers. “It’s weird.”

 

“No it isn’t. It’s efficient.” Loki countered as he pulled his legs up, giving Tony better access. Tony kept an eye on Loki’s face as he pressed a finger against his entrance. “Two.”

 

“What?”

 

“Your fingers. Two of them. Do it.”

 

Tony paused. “That’s…”

 

Loki let out an annoyed sigh. “I know my body. You could probably just shove your cock in me and I’d be fine.”

 

“I’m not going to test that.” He did as Loki asked though, slowly sliding two fingers into him.

 

He grinned at Tony as he rocked down onto his fingers. “Told you.”

 

It wasn’t long before Tony suspected Loki might have been right about just taking his cock. Words of praise and encouragement fell from Loki’s mouth as Tony pushed three fingers into him. He was already hard again, had never gone completely soft--apparently gods didn’t _have_ refractory periods--and moving with Tony’s thrusts, trying to take his fingers in deeper.

 

He wore a look of excitement as Tony withdrew his fingers and lined up, pressing into him with one slow thrust.

 

“Yes,” Loki hissed. Tony barely had time to adjust to the feeling of being _inside_ him before Loki was squirming, impatient. “Move,” he complained.

 

“God, you’re pushy.” He moved anyway. It wasn’t long before they found a rhythm that had them both panting and moaning. And Loki, fuck, he never really stopped making noise. It was hard to believe this was the same person who had been nearly silent as he fucked Tony a week before. Tony loved it. Loved how fucking responsive Loki was. How much he seemed to revel in any sensation he was given. Pain and pleasure seemed to blur for the god; he gave just as much encouragement when Tony bit him as he did when Tony brushed his prostate.

 

After they came Tony at least made an effort to not just collapse on top of Loki. One of them needed to have manners, after all.

 

* * *

 

Sex with Loki became a _thing_ . A thing that happened nearly daily for the next two weeks. They weren’t talking, or becoming friends, or even really bonding. They were just fucking. A lot. Tony recognized that it was him rebounding. That he wanted to feel _wanted_. Wanted to feel good. And if it was also improving his sleep and his focus, as well as his productivity? Well, that was just icing on the cake. Apparently regular sex with a partner whose sex drive matched his own was doing wonders for his health.

 

They were often rough with each other, but not always. Sometimes it was gentle, and almost sweet. Tony wasn’t sure which way it was going to go right then. He was laying on the rug in Loki’s living room, Loki hovering over him, his thigh pressed against Tony’s groin. Still fully clothed, barely moving, just breathing each other’s air.

 

Tony hadn’t been expecting for them to be interrupted. After all, no one else could even stop at this floor without him. Except, of course, the other god who could travel around by magic, and _appear_ feet from them with a burst of thunder so loud it rattled Tony’s bones.

 

He hadn’t recovered from the shock of the explosion sounding feet away from him before Thor had dragged Loki off of him and threw him. He heard the sounds of glass shattering and forced himself to sit up, wide eyed and terrified. But it wasn’t Loki that had gone through the glass. It was a chair. Which also wasn’t great. It looked like Loki had just been thrown through the couch and table, though.

 

Electricity crackled through the air, lightning crawled over Thor’s skin. Tony’s ears were still ringing as he processed that Thor was yelling at Loki. Something about trying to keep him safe. And how was he supposed to do that when Loki decided to just go off and attack Tony.

 

“Thor!” Tony yelled, scrambling to his feet. He wanted to reach out and grab him, but he also pretty sure it might kill him if he did. Just how well could Thor control the lightning coursing around him? “That wasn’t what it looked like.” His ears were still ringing and he had no idea if Thor could even hear him until he turned away from his brother and looked at Tony instead. Good. He had Thor’s attention. He could explain. It wasn’t what Thor had assumed. They were just… _fuck_. “He wasn’t attacking me. We were…”

 

He trailed off. This wasn’t a conversation he wanted to be having. With anyone. But definitely not with Thor. And Thor, he just stared at Tony before slowly glancing back at Loki, who seemed to be alright. He was standing again, at any rate. Back to Tony. “You were…” Now Thor was advancing on Tony, and he could see that his remaining eye was glowing a bright white. As far as Thor was concerned, it seemed, what they were actually doing was _worse_ than Loki attacking him.

 

“I leave my brother in your care, Stark!” Tony started backing up. He didn’t have far he could go, though. “I trust you to keep Loki safe. Instead I come here and find you taking advantage of the situation? Of his trauma?”

 

Tony knew that Loki wasn’t doing _great_ , emotionally. He’d also seemed to have improved since they’d started fucking, though. Tony didn’t know the situation, but maybe Loki had needed the comfort--or the distraction--as badly as he had. His back hit the wall. He had nowhere else to escape to. “Hang on a minute. If anything, he seduced me first!”

 

“It’s none of your business, Thor. Stay out of it.” Loki looked _pissed_.

 

Thor looked back at Loki, “I will not stand by while Stark takes advantage--”

 

“He wasn’t taking advantage of me, you moron.” Loki clenched his fist and two of the remaining chairs flew at Thor. Tony guessed Thor probably blocked them, he didn’t know, he’d hit the ground. There was a flash of light and Tony glanced up to see a bookcase on fire.

 

“You left me here!” Loki was stalking towards Thor, his body tense. “I have wants, desires, _needs_ .” As Loki moved closer, the sparks around Thor fell back. Tony felt a rush of relief: Thor _could_ control it. “I’m staying like you required. You don’t get to dictate how I spend my time here, or who I spend it with.” Loki was in Thor’s face, the sparks were gone. Tony guessed his eye had probably stopped glowing, but he couldn’t see it to tell for certain. “If you have that much of a problem with it, then let me go free.”

 

Something nameless twisted in Tony’s gut. Of course Loki wanted to be free. The sex was great, but freedom would always be better. His gut twisted harder as he realized he didn’t really want Loki to leave. Because he’d miss the fantastic sex, he reasoned, and his newfound ability to actually sleep like a normal person.

 

Thor looked deflated, looking between Loki and down at Tony again. “I came to make sure you were well,” he said quietly. “It appears you are.” Tony watched Thor clap a hand against Loki’s shoulder, and saw Loki visibly relax. After his hand fell, Thor turned backed to Tony. “And if you harm him--”

 

Tony put his hands up in surrender. “Holy shit, I won’t! He’s safe! I swear.” Thor reached for the axe at his side. “Jesus Christ, Thor. Use the elevator like a normal person!” Tony shouted, not wanting to risk his eardrums a second time.

 

Tony pulled himself up onto his knees after Thor left--via the elevator, thank God. Tony gazed around the room, dismayed at the wanton destruction the two gods had managed in fucking minutes.

 

Loki looked unperturbed. “So. Where were we?”

 

Tony gaped at him. “Are you fucking serious right now? You two just broke all my shit. And a _window_. Do you have any idea how much those windows cost?”

 

Loki sighed. “No, but I suppose you’ll tell me.”

 

Tony grit his teeth. “Grab your shit. Whatever’s left of it. I guess I have to move you to a different floor now.” He got to his feet. “Gonna have to fucking reprogram shit.” He turned and pointed an accusing finger at Loki, “It’s not even that it takes very long, but I shouldn’t have to fuck with it.”

 

Loki looked amused by his complaints, which just pissed him off further. “Why don’t I just stay on your floor, then?”

 

Tony stared. “What?”

 

“I spend enough time up there as it is. Or you’re down here. We could just skip the elevator rides and simplify things.” Loki shrugged.

 

He considered it. Loki had a point. They were spending enough time together that it wasn’t completely unreasonable to just have him move up to the penthouse. It wasn’t like Tony didn’t have extra rooms up there. Of course, he’d have to explain to others _why_ Loki was suddenly allowed there, but… “Tell me something, first. Why did you protect me? You could have gotten out of here. Been free. That’s what you want, right?”

 

Loki looked started by the question for the briefest of moments, before a smirk covered it up. “Because I don’t like Thor taking my stuff.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea if I can keep up a pace like this. Here's hoping! I'm really wanting to finish this before the 30th because that's when I start my new job. I'll still keep writing, but it'll be much slower going.


	3. June

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More delayed than I'd wanted it to be. Sorry! Hopefully chapter 4 won't give me as much trouble. We'll see. It was less the chapter and more me just not having time to sit down.

_ You can fight, be fearless _

_ You can leave me breathless now _

_ I'll find out wherever you are _

_ You'll find where your god is _

_ \--Seether, Turn Around _

  
  


Loki was settled in his new room. Most of Loki’s meager belongings had actually escaped unscathed, which was surprising since most of them were books, and Loki had set the bookcase on fire during his confrontation with Thor. 

 

“You still need to stay on  _ this _ floor, alright?” Tony asked before leaving.

 

Loki glanced up from his laptop. “This is my new prison. Got it.”

 

Tony frowned but knew it wasn’t worth it to engage. This was a far cry from a prison, thank you very much. Still, he understood where Loki was coming from. 

 

When Tony got down to his lab he found that it was already occupied by Bruce. Who didn’t seem to be working on anything, but was just sitting in a chair, staring at him. “Hey, Tony.”

 

“Bruce! Hey!” He glanced around as the door swung close behind him. He couldn’t see that Bruce had been working on anything recently, either. Which meant he was here to talk to Tony. “You sitting down here. Very super villain. I like it.”

 

“I talked to Thor.”

 

_ Fuck _ . “Oh yeah? Recently?”

 

Bruce leaned back in the chair, looking even more like a villain. He was doing it on purpose, Tony was certain. “Yep. Last night. He learned something and needed to talk about it. So he came to me.”

 

Tony knew there was no talking his way around this. But he could still delay the inevitable. “That’s good, though! I’m glad he has someone he feels comfortable talking to about stressful stuff.”

 

“Tony.”

 

“Yeah, I know what he told you.”

 

“You’re sleeping with  _ Loki _ ?” Bruce asked incredulously.

 

Tony bristled. He didn’t  _ want _ to be pissed at Bruce. Bruce was his friend. But Goddamn it. “So? Why is that anyone else’s business?”

 

“Because we care about you. And because it’s  _ Loki _ . Who is capable of  _ mind control _ , Tony.”

 

“I’m pretty sure that was just the Mind Stone in the scepter--”

 

“He tried to kill us. You remember that part right?” Bruce stood up. “No, worse than that, he tried to use  _ me _ to kill us.”

 

“I…” Tony faltered. That was true and he knew it. “Yeah. You’re right. I’m sorry.” He didn’t like feeling sorry, either. He wasn’t really sorry for the sex. But he wasn’t thrilled by how much it upset Bruce. “In my defense? You were pretty big on the “Let Loki live here” bandwagon.”

 

“Jesus. Yeah!  _ Live here _ . So that we could monitor him. Keep him safe. Keep others safe. Not so you could date him.”

 

Tony snorted. Wow. “No. That’s… that’s not at all what’s happening, Bruce. Holy shit. No, it’s just sex.”  _ Dating Loki? What the hell?  _ “And why is everyone so concerned about keeping Loki safe? I watched Thor throw him through my furniture and he was barely phased.”

 

Tony could see Bruce thinking, hesitating. “A lot of the Asgardians blame him for what happened.”

 

“To Asgard? I thought Hela was the one who wrecked the place?”

 

“She was, yeah.”

 

“How is that Loki’s fault?”

 

“I’m not too clear on the specifics. Thor… I think it’s still really hard for him to talk about what happened. He thinks he should have been able to prevent it. But they, the Asgardians, not Thor, blame Loki for Odin’s death. I’m not clear why, Loki didn’t kill him.”

 

Tony ran a hand down his face. “There’s no chance you’re just going to sit on this for me, are you?”

 

Bruce grimaced. “Kind of can’t, Tony.”

 

“Yeah, I didn’t think so.”

 

“But look. I’ll talk to people. I’ve been told I have a very soothing voice, even when giving bad news.”

 

“Plus no one wants to piss you off.”

 

“Except you. You seem to love pissing me off.”

 

Tony returned Bruce’s smile with a grin. 

  
  


*~*~*~*

  
  


“So, Bruce knows.” Tony announced, returning to his living room. He was pretty sure Loki hadn’t moved from the couch. 

 

Loki didn’t bother looking up at him. “And?”

 

“And he doesn’t think it should a secret.”

 

Loki looked up now. “Was it? A secret?”

 

“A bit.”

 

“But you’re telling people now?”

 

“Technically Bruce is telling people. He’s just gonna phone-tree it. But yeah.”

 

Loki returned his attention to the laptop, and it was a long moment before he spoke again. “If you wanted to keep it a secret, why do you feel the need to tell them now?”

 

Tony started pacing. He was kind of proud that he’d managed to keep still for so long when he felt so... _ off _ . “Mostly because I’d like to avoid a repeat of what happened with Thor, if that’s alright with you?”

 

“I’m not going to hurt your friends, Stark.” Tony was finding that Loki was good at getting to the heart of the matter.

 

“Yeah? What happens when one of them stabs you, or shoots you, or...I don’t know. Just, what happens when one of them tries to hurt  _ you _ ?”

 

Loki scoffed. “You’re doing this for my benefit?”

 

“We both know I’m not that selfless. It’s for my benefit, too. I  _ also _ don’t want to get stabbed or shot. Or have them think you’re like, mind-controlling me or something.”

 

He had Loki’s attention now. “Do they think I can do that?” He looked startled. “I can create illusions and tricks, but I can’t actually  _ control  _ people.”

 

“Ha! I was right.” Tony did his best not to cheer. Especially when Loki was just  _ looking _ at him. “Sorry. I told Bruce that was just the scepter.”

 

Loki nodded. “Then, yes, you were right. Congratulations. That was the Mind Stone, not my own abilities.” He returned to staring at the laptop’s screen, but it didn’t look like he was really seeing it. It was hard to celebrate much when Loki was sitting there with a thousand-yard stare.

 

“I want to be the one to tell Peter.”

 

“Oh. Ok, yeah. That’s fine.” Tony knew they’d been e-mailing. That was...probably good.

 

“In person.”

 

He stopped pacing. He could think of a million reasons why that was a bad idea. He also remembered how comfortable Peter and Loki had looked when they met. How easily Peter was able to draw conversation from the god. 

 

He also didn’t really want Peter hearing about it from a third party, nor did he want to be the one to have the conversation. Loki had had a ready-made way to escape, and hadn’t taken it. The odds were pretty low that he’d do anything to Peter. “Fine. I guess that’s reasonable.”

 

*~*~*~*

 

“I thought  _ you  _ were going to tell people?” Tony griped as he and Bruce entered the cafe, and Tony caught sight of Natasha sitting in a booth back in the corner.

 

“Do you want to deal with it with me here, or later by yourself?”

 

“Fine.”

 

Bruce made Tony sit on the inside of the booth, doing a great job to make him feel trapped. Trapped in a spider’s web. 

 

“Ok, Nat. We need to tell you something, but don’t freak out.”

 

Natasha quirked a brow at Bruce. “I don’t freak out.”

 

“Right. No, you don’t. But also, don’t now.”

 

Her eyes shifted to Tony. “Tony, what’s he talking about?”

 

Tony gave Bruce a pleading look, but he just shrugged. _ Traitor. _ “So.” Tony leaned across the table. No sense risking being overheard. “For the last few weeks, Loki and I have been…”

 

“Have been?”

 

“Fucking.”

 

“Fucking?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Natasha was silent. She glanced between Bruce and Tony. She sipped her coffee. She didn’t speak.

 

“Nat?” Bruce asked.

 

“Why?” That wasn’t the response Tony had expected.

 

“What do you mean, why?”

 

“What are you getting out of it? No, more importantly: what is he getting out of it?”

 

“What’s he getting out of sex? I don’t know. Stress relief? Human contact? Entertainment?”

 

“Are you talking about him, or you?” She asked.

 

“Both, I think.”

 

Natasha shook her head. “I don’t buy it. He’s got some other motive. It’s never going to be  _ “just sex” _ with him.”

 

Tony shrugged. “You’re probably right. I’ll let you know when I figure out what it is.”

 

Natasha looked concerned, “I hope you’ll be able to.”

  
  


*~*~*~*

 

Tony was almost sad that Steve didn’t lead with, “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.” Instead he opened with a dramatic sigh and, “Tony.”

 

“Bruce talked to you, then?”

 

“Natalia, actually.” Because of course Bucky was with him. It seemed like Bucky was always with him. Which was fine, of course. Tony was happy for them. He just didn’t like the idea of being ganged up on.

 

“Loki? Really? I get being upset and lonely, I do, but… Loki?” Steve looked honestly confused.

 

“Yeah, Loki. Apparently.”

 

“And you don't feel like maybe this was a little fast? Like you've betrayed Pepper?”

 

“What the hell, Steve? Have you never heard of rebound sex?” Bucky was glaring at Steve.

 

“Of course I have.  _ Still _ .”

 

“Still what?” Tony asked.

 

“Yeah, still what?” Tony hadn't expected Bucky to be in his side for this, but he was grateful.

 

“Rebound sex is one thing. But Loki? You don’t see why everyone might take issue with that?”

 

Tony rolled his eyes. “Of course I can see why people would take issue with it. That’s why I’m actually telling you all about it.”

 

“Plus you got caught.” Bucky pointed out.

 

“So, what? You’re planning to keep having sex with him?”

 

“Yep. That’s the plan.”

 

Steve looked incredibly frustrated. “He tried to kill you.”

 

“ _ He _ tried to kill you.” Tony gestured towards Bucky.

 

“TONY.” Steve was probably about to punch him. It had been worth it.

 

Bucky chuckled. “He’s not wrong, Stevie.”

 

“That was completely different, Buck.”

 

“Was it?”

 

“Yes,” Steve stressed, “you weren’t yourself. You didn’t remember me.”

 

Bucky shrugged. “I’ve seen the footage, you know. Of what happened. I don’t think he was himself, either.”

 

“I wish that was an argument I could make,” Tony mused. “No, he’s just really that much of an egomaniac.”

 

But Bucky was shaking his head. “Speaking as the resident expert on being brainwashed, I don’t think so.”

 

Steve tensed. “What? You think he was being controlled?”

 

“Not exactly. I think he went through  _ something _ . Something terrible. The Loki I saw in the footage, and the one Thor talks about--the one that’s Tony’s fucking--there’s a pretty big disconnect there.”

 

_ Food for thought _ . Tony wasn’t sure what to make of Bucky’s theory. Loki’s current behavior was markedly different than how he’d acted 8 years ago. But Tony didn’t feel he had enough data points to start trying to come to any conclusions.

 

“The point is, Tony,” Bucky elbowed Steve in the rib. “You didn’t  _ betray _ Pepper. Unless you two were fucking before you broke up?”

 

Tony huffed. “Wha-- Of course not!” He didn’t feel the need to bring up that the first time had happened the night that Pepper had left him. 

 

*~*~*~*

 

After some consideration, but probably not enough, Tony decided to just text Pepper about it. He didn’t think he could handle  _ seeing _ her just yet. But she also deserved to hear about this from the horse’s mouth, not through the grapevine. 

 

_ >You have a moment? _

 

_ >>Yeah! Hey, Tony. _

 

Good. She was still willing to talk to him. Even though he’d ignored her last text for several days. Like an asshole.

 

_ >Hey. Look, something’s happened, and I want you to hear about it from me. _

 

_ >>Are you ok? _

 

_ >Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. _

 

She was even still worried about him. 

 

_ >>Good. I’m glad. So what’s happened? _

 

He typed out the next message. Didn’t hit send. Couldn’t hit send.  _ Fucking Steve _ . Made himself hit send.

 

_ >For the last few weeks, I’ve been sleeping with someone. _

 

She wasn’t going to reply. She wasn’t going to talk to him ever again. 

 

After a few minutes, which he spent staring at the screen, his phone pinged. Of course she was going to reply. She wasn’t the jerkass in the relationship.

 

_ >>I can’t say i’m surprised, honestly. Why are you concerned about me finding out? Is it  _ _ someone I know? _

 

Well. She knew  _ of _ him.

 

_ >Sort of, yeah. _

 

_ >>Who? _

 

_ >Loki. _

 

Another pause.

 

_ >>Loki Loki? _

 

_ >Yes. _

 

_ >>Guy who destroyed New York? That Loki? _

 

_ >Yep. _

 

Tony once again had to entertain the possibility that she wasn’t going to talk to him. This was too much.

 

_ >>How? _

 

_ >It just sort of happened? The first time was an accident. _

 

_ >>Sex doesn’t happen on accident, Tony! _

 

That was fair. It wasn’t like he’d tripped and just fallen on Loki’s dick.

 

_ >Ok, not an accident. I mean I hadn’t planned on it. We were drinking and one thing just  _ _ lead to another. _

 

_ >>That’s not an answer and you know it. What one thing? _

 

_ >Me being drunk, mostly. _

 

_ >>What was the thing that that lead to? _

 

_ >Him grabbing my dick. _

 

_ >>He just grabbed your dick? _

 

_ >Pretty much, yeah. _

 

_ >>TONY. That’s sexual assault. _

 

No it wasn’t. Well.

 

_ >I may have worded that poorly. When I put it like that, it does kind of sound like it. _

 

_ >>Explain to me how it wasn’t sexual assault. _

 

_ >I was cool with it? _

 

The phone rang in is hand. Pepper was calling him. Tony couldn’t very pretend he didn’t have his phone near him or anything. “Hi, Pep.”

 

“Tony, are you ok?” She sounded concerned.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Really? He didn’t like...coerce you, or--”

 

“Pepper. Are you honestly going to make me go into detail of my sleeping with someone else? Or can you just trust me when I say that I’m ok, and that I’m not be assaulted. Or abused. Because I know that’s where you’re going with it.”

 

She was quiet for a moment. All he could hear was her breathing. Where was she that was even capable of being that quiet? “Is it just sex?”

 

Tony felt the wind go out of him. “Yeah. Of course. What else would it be?”

 

“Nothing. I’m sorry. That was a stupid question, and not really… Look, I’m sorry. I have to go.”

 

His chest hurt. “Yeah, alright. And, thank you. For worrying about me.”

 

“I love you, Tony.”

 

_ Damn it _ . “I love you, too.”

 

The line went dead. She’d hung up. He let his hand drop down to his side. He wasn’t pacing for once; he didn’t feel like he had the energy to move. Steve was right. He  _ had _ betrayed Pepper. His eyes were burning, but he refused to cry. Because if he started crying, he didn’t know if he’d be able to stop. 

 

Tony heard the door to Loki’s room open. He stared down at the floor, shoving his phone back into his pocket. 

 

He would have expected snark. Or mockery. Maybe even laughter. But he didn’t expect to hear a quiet, “Are you alright?” from Loki.

 

Tony swallowed. “No.”

 

He felt a gentle hand on his back, leading him over to the bar. Encouraging him to sit down. He stared down at the countertop, unseeing, eyes starting to blur. Damn it, he wasn’t going to cry. 

 

He was startled from his thoughts when Loki slid a glass of amber liquid to him. He poked at the cherry garnish impaled on the rim of the glass. He glanced up to see Loki looking at him expectantly, so he took a hesitant sip. 

 

“Did… did you make me a Manhattan?”

 

“I did.”

 

Loki was full of surprises. “Why do you even know how to do that?”

 

A smile pulled at the corner of Loki’s lips. “I have an approximate knowledge of many things.”

 

“Is that from something? I feel like that’s from something.” It was on the tip of his tongue, but Tony couldn’t place it. He’d heard someone else say it recently, and they had definitely been quoting something.

 

“Shut up and enjoy the drink, Stark.”

 

He and Loki spent the rest of the evening in relative silence. Loki made an exceptional, if disquietingly silent, bartender. Which, actually, was probably for the best right then. Tony didn’t want to talk. He didn’t want to think.

 

He wasn’t sure how much time passed, but eventually Loki was maneuvering him to his bed. He didn’t think he would sleep, but at least he could be warm and comfortable. And then he felt the bed dip as Loki curled up on the other side, putting as much distance between him as they could.

 

“Cha doing?”

 

“Your bed is more comfortable than mine.”

 

* * *

 

**Peter**

  
  


Peter and Loki had been exchanging e-mails for the last few weeks. Peter enjoyed suggesting videos and articles for Loki to check out. He liked to share the photographs he took around Queens: of people walking their dogs, restaurants that MJ dragged him and Ned to, local street artists, and even one very memorable video of Aunt May singing along to Mamma Mia.

 

Most of Loki’s correspondences were short and to the point. He would occasionally ask a question, or even request Peter’s help in understanding some cultural references he had come across. 

 

So it came as quite a shock when Peter woke up to an e-mail asking him to come by The Tower at his earliest convenience. Loki had something he wanted to speak about in person. “With Stark’s permission”, Loki had assured him. 

 

He had strongly considered ditching school to go find out what was up. He knew it couldn’t be an emergency, otherwise someone would have called him. Probably. Unless it was something dangerous and Mr. Stark wanted to keep Peter safe and away from whatever was happening. But then he wouldn’t have given Loki permission to invite him over, would he? Was Loki just a distraction?

 

Mr. Stark? Why is Mr. Loki inviting me to the tower?

 

Why are you up so early?

 

School. What’s going on?

 

He wants to talk to you about something. Everything’s fine.

 

You sure?

 

Go to class, Pete.

 

He shouldn’t have texted Mr. Stark. Now if he ditched class he’d have lost plausible deniability.  _ Damn _ . 

 

He had a Spanish test anyway, so it was probably good that he went. Even if now he had trouble focusing on the lectures because he had permission to hang out with an  _ alien _ after school.

 

“Afternoon, JARVIS!” Peter called as he made his way into the elevator. He’d passed his test, and nothing of note had happened the rest of the day. Even Flash had left him alone, for once. Things were going great! Which left an anxious pit in Peter’s stomach.

 

“Good afternoon, Mr. Parker.”

 

“What floor’s Mr. Loki on?”

 

“He’s in the Penthouse.”

 

_ Huh _ . “You mean like, right now, or...?”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

Peter had never been up to the Penthouse before, and was awestruck by the incredible view from the  _ wall of windows _ . Who needed a wall of windows? No one. But it was beautiful, being able to look out over the ocean from so high up. He almost didn’t notice Loki sitting in an armchair, book in hand, watching him. And not watching the birds fly by, or how small the traffic and people looked from up there, or how close the clouds were. He should have brought his camera. Technically Mr. Stark had told him he wasn’t allowed to, but he wished he had tried to sneak it in.

 

“Are you alright, Peter?”

 

“Yeah. I’m great. This is just...wow.” Peter caught himself. “Oh man, I’m being so rude. I’m sorry, Mr. Loki!” He turned away from the windows to actually face his host. “And, you moved? Why are you up here now?”

 

“Stark and I are fucking.”

 

Well. That was. Something. Mr. Stark liked guys? Should Peter have known that? Had that ever come up? He couldn’t remember it coming up, but he felt like maybe he should have known that. 

 

When Peter didn’t reply, Loki continued. “He felt it was important that you know. And that you hear it from one of us.”

 

Peter grinned, “And here I was worried that he was going to be an asshole to you.”

 

“He still manages.”

 

“Oh.” His grin faltered. “But you’re happy, right? With him?” 

 

“It wouldn’t be happening if I wasn’t.” Loki assured him.

 

Peter let out a sigh. “Good.” He didn’t know what he’d have done if that wasn’t the case. He was pretty sure he’d try to do  _ something _ though. He didn’t think Mr. Stark and Loki had known each other that long, but it wasn’t really his place to judge. They were happy. That was the important thing.

 

Peter made his way back to the center of the room, dropping his backpack by the couch. “Are you hungry? I bought a couple of sandwiches from Delmar’s.”

 

“The Deli you mentioned?”

 

“Yep!” He pulled the bags from his backpack, passing one over to Loki. He tried very hard not to stare as Loki took a bite of the sandwich. 

 

But Loki looked happy--content, even. “You were right. This is very good.”

 

At Loki’s urging, Peter told him about his day as they ate. He did his best to explain how high schools  _ worked _ , and tried to differentiate between MidTown High and more mainstream schools. He didn’t find it particularly interesting, but Loki seemed to, so he was happy to discuss it.

 

“You can do magic, right?” Peter asked after Loki had run out of questions about school.

 

“And sorcery, yes.”

 

“Like Doctor Strange?” 

 

“Who?”

 

“You should look him up! He’s a sorcerer. Oh, he’s human though.” Peter pushed his hands forward, doing his best to mimic the movement’s he’d seen Doctor Strange do. “He makes these like, orange insignias in the air. There’s sparks and stuff. It’s really cool!”

 

“That sounds like Eldritch Magic,” Loki said, looking thoughtful. “I didn’t know humans were capable of such a thing.”

 

“So your magic doesn’t look like that?”

 

“It does not, no.” 

 

Peter worried the inside of his lip. He hoped this wasn’t rude. “Can I see?”

 

“Magic?” Loki looked amused. His question hadn’t been rude, then.

 

“Yes, please.”

 

Loki was grinning as he held his hand out. A small red ball of fire ignited in his palm.

 

Peter  _ really _ wished he’d brought his camera now. “This is incredible!”

 

Loki laughed. “Give me your hand.”

 

Peter hesitated. His spider sense wasn’t going off. He didn’t  _ feel _ like he was in danger. Could Loki somehow circumvent that? But he was just smiling patiently at him, so Peter held out his hand and watched as Loki let the fireball tip into his hand.

 

It was  _ weird _ . Physics-defying. He was holding a ball made of fire. And it didn’t hurt. It was warm, and filled him with a sense of comfort. Mesmerized, he passed his other hand through the flame, and it was just more of the same. 

 

“What about you, Peter? What abilities do you possess?”

 

He snapped out of his reverie. “Huh?”

 

“I assume you have some, if The Avengers have you hanging around?”

 

Peter snorted at the unintended pun. “Hanging around,” he chuckled. Loki gave him a questioning look. “I’ll get to that. Uh, I’m really strong, and fast, and have a really good sense of balance.”

 

“A good sense of balance?”

 

“And I can stick to things.”

 

That gave Loki pause. “What?”

 

“I’ll show you!” Peter jumped up, the fireball disappearing, and ran towards the windows. He couldn’t help but look back at Loki’s expression as he scaled the windows and came to rest on the ceiling, directly above where he had been sitting moments before.

 

“I thought you were human?”

 

“I am.”

 

“Not a mutant?”

 

“Nope.” Peter let himself drop, rolling as he hit the ground. “Well, maybe? But not in the same way. I wasn’t born with these powers.”

 

“What happened?”

 

“Spider bite.” He knew he could have given plenty of more useful answers, but the look of bewilderment on Loki’s face was worth it. “Radioactive spider. It bit me. It was a whole thing.”

 

“You were bitten by a spider, which gave you superhuman abilities, and so you just… became an Avenger?”

 

Peter shrugged as he climbed back onto the couch. “Not exactly?” He took a breath. What did he want to share. How to say it? “I was 15 when I was bitten. Woke up a few days later, new awesome powers. So, naturally, I did what any kid would do.”

 

“Abuse them?”

 

“Yep. Seeing how fast I could run. How far. How strong I was now. Things like that. Nothing harmful, you know? But I also wasn’t helping anyone, either.” Loki was patient while Peter talked. Telling him about dressing up and wrestling. About the robbery he didn’t stop. About Uncle Ben, and how if he’d just  _ listened _ to his uncle’s advice, then maybe--

 

Loki looked...distressed. Peter quickly wiped at his eyes before the tears could fall. “Jeez, I’m sorry. You don’t want to hear my stupid sob story.”

 

“No, Peter, it’s alright. I--”

 

Peter froze. “Are you alright, Mr. Loki?”

 

“Yes.” He said, but didn’t look it.

 

“I shouldn’t have brought up that stuff. With Ben. I’m sorry. Bruce mentioned about your dad.”

 

Peter heard Loki shift. “I wasn’t close with my father.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“What else did Banner tell you?”

 

Peter looked back up. “Not a lot. A little bit about Sakaar. Which mostly sounded scary. And then about visiting Asgard, which sounded really cool, and then really scary.” Peter tried not to fidget. Failed. “Like, about Hela, and how Asgard was…” 

 

Loki had tensed, his hands balled into fists. Any shred of joy or contentment gone from his face. The hair on the back of Peter’s neck stood up. He was in danger. Bad danger. “Mr. Loki?”

 

“Six.”

 

_ Six? What? Oh.  _ “Shit. I’m sorry!” Peter grabbed his bag and ran, not needing to be told twice. 

 

While riding the elevator down to find Mr. Stark, Peter had two thoughts. First, he was glad he’d made that joke when they met. Second, and he couldn’t really explain this, he knew with certainty that Loki hadn’t actually wanted to hurt  _ him _ . But he still would have been collateral damage.

  
  


**Tony**

  
  


“MR. STARK!” Tony looked up to see Peter bolting from the elevator and into the lab. Jesus that kid could move. “I messed up. So bad. SO BAD.” His eyes were wide and frightened.

 

“Slow down, what happened, kid?” He put a hand on Peter’s shoulder when he stopped in front of him.

 

“Mr. Loki and I were talking. And I brought up Asgard. And I really  _ really _ upset him.”

 

Tony knew it had been a bad idea. Knew it, and still let it happen. “Are you ok? Did he hurt you?”

 

Peter shook his head. “No. He, um. Told me.” Peter was catching his breath. “Told me, that he was upset. So I left, to come get you.”

 

At least Loki was communicating with  _ someone _ . “You did good, Pete. Did he...what kind of upset?”

 

“I don’t know,” Peter admitted. “But it happened fast. We were talking about other stuff, and then…”

 

Tony nodded. “I got it. I’ll go check on him.” 

 

Showing up in the Suit didn’t seem like a good idea, so Tony set one on standby. “JARVIS, if shit goes down…”

 

“I’ll handle it, Sir.”

 

“Thanks. Where is he, now?”

 

“Still in the penthouse.”

 

Well. Ok, then. Super upset but he didn’t leave? Tony would figure that one out later. For now, it was a good thing.

 

The living room was empty, but that wasn’t surprising. What was surprising was how  _ cold _ it was. And the room got colder the closer he got to Loki’s room.  _ Magic bullshit _ , Tony decided. “Loki!” He called, banging on the door.

 

“Leave me be, Stark.” He hadn’t really expected Loki to answer him.

 

“Not a chance. You don’t get to  _ threaten _ Peter and then just--”

 

The sound from the other side of the door was inhuman. It was more like an injured beast than anything he’d ever heard from a person.  _ Something _ hit the other side of the door and shattered. Tony took a step back just in time as the door became encased in ice.

 

“Stop breaking my shit,” Tony whispered to himself. “JARVIS, do you have eyes on Loki?”

 

“I do, Sir.”

 

“Is he ok? Like, physically?”

 

“It appears so, yes.”

 

“Good. Ok.” Tony ran a hand through his hair. He could fight his way in, he knew, but Loki was trying to  _ avoid _ them. “Just...watch him, will you? Make sure he doesn’t hurt himself.”

 

“I will do my best.”

 

* * *

 

It was the middle of the night, and Tony couldn’t sleep. Which was hardly surprising. Loki hadn’t come out of his room--although the ice had melted, and the room had warmed back up--and Tony was lost on what to do about the situation. It made sense to try contacting Thor, he’d want to know about this, but he still hadn’t figured out answering his phone or replying to text messages. So Tony was lounging on the couch watching the episode of  _ Black Mirror  _ that Peter had suggested:  _ Playtest _ . He had been right, the concept was interesting. And gave Tony plenty of ideas that he called out to JARVIS as the episode went on.

 

“Sir! Loki is no longer in his room--or in the building.”

 

Tony jumped up. “Fuck. What? Where is he?”

 

There was a pause as JARVIS searched. “The helipad, sir.”

 

“The fuck is he doing up there?” Tony asked, already running for the stairs.

 

“I’m afraid I don’t know, Sir.”

 

“Loki, what the fuck?” Tony yelled across the helipad as he advanced towards Loki. “I keep telling you that you can’t just keep wandering off.” He froze when he was close enough to properly see Loki. He was huddled in a ball and sobbing, sitting on the very edge of the roof.

 

Tony hesitated before stepping closer. Loki was a danger, but right then, it looked like he was also  _ in danger _ . “Hey, sorry. Are you alright?”

 

Loki didn’t answer. Didn’t respond. He was shaking and his breathing was harsh. Now that he was closer he could see that Loki was clutching at his chest.

 

“Ok, I’m gonna sit down here.” Tony spoke softly as he moved. The wind was strong so high up, but at least it wasn’t raining. “You need to breathe, Loki.” He shifted closer, still trying to stay out of Loki’s personal space. “C’mon, in through your nose, out through your mouth.” He demonstrated, and after a moment he heard Loki trying to mimic him.

 

“Good job, you’re doing great. Keep breathing.” 

 

Loki looked...better. Slightly more aware of his surroundings, if nothing else.

 

“Ok, do me a favor. You don’t have to say anything. Try to think of four things you can see.” He watched Loki glance around with as little movement as possible. “Ok, three things you can touch.” Loki’s fingers twitched. He had stopped clutching at his chest. “Focus on two things you can hear right now.” After a moment, Loki gave a little nod. “Last thing. One thing you can smell.”

 

Loki was still crying. Still looked almost broken. “Do you want--would it help if--” Tony sighed. Talking was never one of his weaknesses, this was ridiculous. “Can I touch you?”

 

After Loki gave another small nod, Tony carefully scooted closer to him, wrapping one arm over his shoulders. Loki leaned ever so slightly, pressing their bodies together. 

 

They didn’t discuss anything.

 

* * *

 

Nearly a week passed before Loki disappeared again. Tony had barely had time to get pissed off about it before JARVIS informed him that Loki had returned--and was cooking.

 

“Where did you go?” Tony asked, crossing his arms and standing behind Loki.

 

“To get things for breakfast.” Loki glanced back at him. “How do you feed yourself, Stark?”

 

Tony snorted. “How many times am I going to have to tell you that you can’t keep doing this?”

 

“Oh, but look, I’ve already done it.”  _ Fucking snarky asshole. _

 

Tony hovered around, watching as Loki scrambled some eggs and periodically turned over pieces of meat. It smelled good, even if Tony couldn’t identify what it  _ was _ . “What’re you making?”

 

“Breakfast.”

 

“Don’t be difficult.”

 

Loki smirked. “Eggs, with boar and figs.”

 

Tony paused. “Where did you even  _ get _ boar?”

 

Loki didn’t deign to answer, and kept shifting so that he could block Tony whenever he got too close to the stove. “I don’t need your assistance, Stark.”

 

“I’ve never cooked with boar. I want to help.”

 

He was met with rolled eyes. “I’m not confident you’ve cooked with  _ anything _ .” 

 

“Rude.” Tony muttered, pacing around the kitchen. He couldn’t even make coffee--Loki had gotten there first. And the coffee was good. Damn him.

 

“Are you just incapable of sitting still?” Loki finally snapped at him.

 

“I mean… yeah, pretty much.” Tony shrugged, glancing over Loki’s shoulder.

 

“I will fucking tie you down if I have to.” Loki threatened.

 

Tony blinked. That was a hell of an idea. It wasn’t like he’d never been tied down before, but the idea of  _ Loki _ tying him down was something else entirely. 

 

Apparently he was silent for too long, as Loki turned to look at him. He caught sight of Tony’s grin and just sighed. “Norns… Fine. After breakfast. I made this, despite you messing around, we’re going to eat it.”

 

As if Tony wanted to miss the chance to eat what Loki had created. He couldn’t remember if he’d had boar before, but had expected it to taste pretty similarly to ham. He’d been wrong. The texture was close, but the taste was more similar to beef. 

 

“Good?” Loki asked.

 

Tony nodded. “Why do you know how to cook?”

 

Loki looked amused. “Why wouldn’t I know how to cook?”

 

“You’re a prince or something, right?”

 

The god took a sip of his own coffee. “The ability to hunt and cook--to fend for yourself--is an important skill, and taught to all Asgardians.”

 

“Oh. That makes sense.” This was the first time he’d heard Loki mention Asgard directly, much less with any sort of fondness.

 

“Hey, about the other day--”

 

“Leave it.” Loki stood up and rounded the table, grabbing Tony by the front of his shirt. “Am I tying you up or not?”

 

“Yes, please.”

 

Tony expected to be lead towards the bedroom but Loki ushered him towards the couch instead. “Lay down. Eyes closed.”

 

“How are you going to tie me to a couch?” Tony asked as he did what he was told.

 

“Creatively. Arms above your head.” He felt handcuffs close around his wrists. Tony gave an experimental tug and found that they had very little give. He was trying to picture what sort of setup Loki had created so quickly when Loki settled on top of him. “You just going to keep your eyes closed?”

 

“You didn’t say I could open them.” 

 

Loki chuckled, which turned into a full laugh when Tony let out an irritated noise as their clothing disappeared. “Keep your eyes closed, then.”

 

Loki’s fingers trailed softly from his wrists to down his arms and across his chest. They edged close to the Arc Reactor but didn’t touch it directly, instead going down his stomach and up his sides. Tony tried to keep his squirming to a minimum, but it kind of tickled, damn it. He gasped when Loki repeated the movements, this time dragging his nails across Tony’s body. 

 

And then his mouth was on Tony’s throat: hot and wet and sucking what would become an impressive bruise into existence. Tony moaned as Loki dug his nails into his ribs and rolled their hips together. He didn’t know what the plan was, and that was fine. He didn’t need to know the plan. Loki had a plan, and he was taking Tony along for the ride. 

 

Loki shifted downwards, leaving a trail of kisses and bites and deliciously abused flesh in his wake. When he felt Loki’s teeth scrape against his hip he thought he might finally feel Loki’s mouth on his cock--but no. Instead he just slowly meandered his way back up Tony’s body. He came to rest with his fingers pinching and tweaking one nipple, his mouth on the other. And Tony was enjoying the fuck out of it. He’d known he had some masochistic tendencies but he’d never really pegged himself as particularly submissive. Shows what he’d known. 

 

Loki bit down--hard. Hard enough that Tony jerked against the handcuffs and cried out. Loki didn’t let go, but his hand rubbed what were probably meant to be soothing circles along Tony’s side until he managed to settle back down. 

 

“Good boy.” Loki murmured, and usually Tony would have commented but his heart wasn’t in it, and then Loki was kissing him and he could taste his own blood and that had no right to be anywhere near as arousing as it was. Tony canted his hips, seeking friction because  _ fuck _ .

 

But then the hand that had been torturing his nipple was on his throat and pressing down and--

 

_ Tony couldn’t breath. Couldn’t move. Couldn’t scream for help. Even if he could, no one would come and-- _

 

They should have decided on a safeword, Tony realized dimly. His arms, chest, and throat hurt. He opened his eyes to find his vision blurry, and Loki looking stricken. 

 

“Wha--?”

 

“Here, let me.” Loki reached up, undoing the handcuffs and letting Tony’s hands go free. Tony carefully pulled them down, rubbing at his wrists. Judging by how red they were, he must have pulled pretty hard against the metal. It hadn’t broken the skin but he’d have some hard-to-explain bruises for a few days, at least. Seeing that Tony’s panic was over, Loki seemed to force himself to calm down. 

 

“You panicked.” Loki explained. “Begged me to stop. So I did.”

 

Tony ran a hand down his face. “Sorry.” Loki looked unimpressed by his apology. “I didn’t want to put an end to the proceedings but. Um.” A nervous chuckle escaped him. “We should probably have set up a safeword.”

 

“Safeword?”

 

“Yeah.” After Loki moved off of him--giving him space, probably--Tony shifted back until he was able to lean on the arm of the couch. He glanced back and caught sight of a bit of rope that Loki had attached to the legs of the couch. That explained that. “For when something is too much, you know?

 

“I guess I don’t know about Asgardians, but sometimes doing this stuff? No doesn’t necessarily mean no. Or stop. Or don’t. So you set up a safeword. Something that’s not likely to be said  _ normally _ during sex, so the meaning will be clear.”

 

Loki nodded. “Do you have one in mind?”

 

“I’ve always used the traffic light system. Green is go. Good. Etcetera. Yellow is like...this is too intense, or there’s something I don’t like, but I don’t actually want to stop the whole scene. And Red is--”

 

“What just happened.”

 

Tony shrugged. “In this case. If I’d thought fast enough before panicking--and if we’d actually set up safewords like sane people--that could have just been a yellow.”

 

“So it was the choking?”

 

“Yeah. Um. Don’t do that again. Please. I don’t  _ think _ I have much in the way of hard limits, but that’s one of them”

 

Loki nodded slowly. “One of them? What else should I avoid?”

 

Tony tapped on his Reactor. “This. Don’t touch it. Just...leave it alone.”

 

Loki stood up, “Noted,” he said. It was the closest thing to warning Tony got before Loki scooped him up off the couch.

 

“What the fuck?” Tony asked. He wasn’t surprised that Loki could carry him, but he didn’t have to like it. “Put me down! I can walk just fine,” he griped.

 

Loki only hummed in return. He carried Tony to his bedroom, carefully laying him down on the bed. “Stay.” 

 

Tony watched him turn and leave the room. “And don’t pick me up!” He called after him.

 

“That another hard limit of yours, Stark?” Loki asked as he returned, water bottle in hand.

 

Tony frowned. “I mean, not really, I guess.. But I don’t like it.”

 

“I’ll keep your preference in mind, then.”

 

Tony noted that Loki hadn’t actually apologized. He didn’t think he was going to get one, either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, they got forced to communicate a little bit. Good job, boys. 
> 
> So for the question of "when did it get kinky?" the answer is "when Loki said something flippantly out of frustration, and Tony took him at his word."


	4. July

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hetero sex? In my fic? It's more likely than you think!
> 
> It's also very brief and probably won't be happening again for a while because my queer ass just sat here like "I don't know what I'm doing. I have no idea what I'm doing. This is going to be awful."
> 
> Also, I hope I did alright with Loki's gender identity, here. I tried my best. It doesn't help that he doesn't really _communicate_ yet.

_Oh, give me a reason_

_So we can devolve_

_Oh, keep me from falling down_

_So we can resolve_

_Oh, give me a reason_

_So we can devolve_

_Oh, give me a reason I can't deny_

_\--Seether, Turn Around_

  
  


Tony woke that morning to a phone call from a very anxious Happy. “Hey, Tony. Sorry to wake you.”

 

“It’s fine, what’s up, Happy?”

 

“It’s probably nothing, but just in case it’s not, I know you’d want to know.”

 

“What do I want to know, Happy?”

 

“There was a blip last night. With the security cameras.”

 

“A blip?”

 

“No time at all. Less than a second. Video feed cut out, and then immediately came back on.”

 

These types of things happen. Tony wasn’t sure why Happy felt the need to bother him with it. “Ok, and what else?”

 

“It doesn’t look like anything is _missing_ , but stuff was moved.”

 

“Moved?”

 

“Yeah. A handful of items, an inch to the left.”

 

“But nothing’s missing?” Tony was befuddled. This was a weird way to wake up.

 

“Nope.”

 

“You’re certain?”

 

A pause. He didn’t like the pause. “Nearly certain.”

 

“Goddamn it.”

 

Tony was up and and staring at the monitors that JARVIS provided in his bedroom, pouring over the security cameras from the night before. Sure enough, at 2:07am, all of the video feed cut out and was restored half a second later. With everything on two of the shelves moved slightly to the left.

 

The _who_ and _how_ were important, Tony knew, but he was mostly focused on the _why_. Why would someone do that? A prank? Unlikely, but not impossible. Misdirection? More likely. So, a distraction. “Hey, JARVIS, is there something I’m not seeing? Everything but those two shelves look the same to me.” He considered. “Is there any chance something else was swapped out? With a fake or something?”

 

“That is highly unlikely, Sir.” JARVIS sounded offended. “I am confident that I would have noticed a fake item.”

 

“Did you notice shit moving?”

 

“I did, Sir. I waited to inform you until I had been able to draw a conclusion about what had happened.”

 

Tony glared at the monitor. Nothing else had changed. He’d looked _everywhere_ , at every video feed. But all of the feeds cutting out at the same time? “Son of a bitch.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

Tony jumped. Hadn’t heard Loki come in. Wasn’t sure if he’d just been engrossed in what he was doing, or if Loki had just been unreasonably quiet. Huh. Loki. Master of illusion, trickster, general pain in the ass. “Did you go anywhere last night?”

 

“We both know I didn’t.” He sounded annoyed at the accusation.

 

That was true. JARVIS would have bothered him for that. “Have a look at this. What do you make of it?” Loki was at his side, watching as Tony rewound the video and played it back.

 

“What am I looking at?”

 

“A warehouse. Something happened last night. All of the security cameras cut off at once.”

 

“Is that unusual?”

 

“Very.”

 

“I assume you’ve caught the moving items?”

 

“Those two shelves? Yep.”

 

Tony glanced to the side and caught sight of Loki, bottom lip pulled between his teeth, studying the video. He surprised him with a wave of his hand, backing up the video and switching focus to another camera angle. He supposed Loki had watched him manipulate the screens enough, he was bound to catch on eventually.

 

“Someone’s fucking with you.”

 

“Great. Why?”

 

“No idea.” Loki turned from the screens. “How long are you going to stare at this?”

 

“Until I figure out what’s happening.”

 

“JARVIS, can you keep analyzing without Stark’s assistance?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Loki, I’m not going to--Ow!” Tony did his best to glare. Loki had pointedly drug his nails across his bare ribs.

 

The god just looked amused. “You’re into it.”

 

“I am not.” Loki gave him a disbelieving look. “Whatever. Maybe a little.”

 

“A little? I was there. You were _very_ into it.”

 

“I guess?” Tony shifted uncomfortable. “It’s--I don’t know--not the sort of thing I thought I’d be so into.”

 

Loki laughed. “What? You’d never done anything like that before?”

 

“Not...quite like that, no.” Loki was looking at him like Tony had given him a precious gift. That couldn’t bode well. “What?”

 

“Just thinking about you. Being so inexperienced. Virginal.” Loki was in his personal space now, steering him away from his work. “Judging by what I found on the internet, I had figured you’d known all about your sexuality.”

 

“Never should have shown you the internet.” Tony muttered.

 

“So, all that time, with all those people, what _were_ you getting up to?” Loki’s tone made him want to either spill his guts, or punch him. He wasn’t sure which was more likely to happen first.

 

“I’ve gotten up to plenty.” Tony wasn’t used to needing to defend his experience. Or even wanting to defend it. He mostly tried to shove the past in the past and ignore it. “I just generally wasn’t...submissive.”

 

Loki’s hand was on his chest. “That doesn’t really answer the question.”

 

“What about you? You seem--”

 

“Nope. Try again.”

 

Tony sidestepped, putting distance between himself and the god. “Will it get you to leave me alone so I can work?”

 

Loki shrugged, and his expression spelled mischief. “Maybe. Let’s find out.”

 

Tony sighed. “Fine. Obviously I’ve done the whole S&M thing before. Just--”

 

“Right, yes. You said. Just not as the submissive party. You’d also never been fucked before. Were there that many men who were just aching to bend over and take your cock?” Loki held himself between Tony and the monitors. “Or were you just _very_ selective?”

 

“One, yes.” That was true _enough_. “Two, I didn’t tend to sleep with dudes.”

 

“Prefered the company of women?”

 

There was no way Loki didn’t know that. Tony knew he was angling at something, but he couldn’t figure out what. “Yes.”

 

“And now you’re fucking me.”

 

“Obviously.”

 

“Monogamously.”

 

Tony stopped trying to return to his work. Stopped moving. Stopped. He hadn’t even _thought_ about seeking out anyone else. Hadn’t wanted to. Didn’t really want to, either. “I guess so.”

 

Loki circled him. _Like a shark_ , Tony thought.

 

“Do you miss it?”

 

“Miss what? Sex with women?”

 

“Sure.”

 

Tony shrugged. “Not really?” He hadn’t thought about it until now. “Maybe a little. Sometimes.”

 

“Good.”

 

“Why is that good?”

 

“Close your eyes. I have a surprise.”

 

Tony frowned as Loki covered his eyes. “What kind of surprise? I don’t like your surprises.” Loki moved his hands away and--Tony’s brain stalled. The Loki in front of him was very definitely female. “Oh good, it’s a weird surprise.”

 

Loki’s soft features turned into a pout. “Rude.”

 

“I’m not gonna lie, this feels like a weird use of your shapeshifting.” Loki’s usual sharp angles and lean muscle now looked soft, and almost fragile. Tony was certain that it was a facade--that Loki could still kick is ass if he--she?--felt inclined.

 

“It’s not weird. Not for me.”

 

“It’s not?”

 

“I’m as comfortable in this form as any other.” She hadn’t bothered to shapeshift her clothing, so Loki undid a few buttons of her shirt, which now looked all wrong on her form.

 

Tony was missing something. “Explain?”

 

Loki looked irritated. “Because I know you’ll ask: this isn’t an Asgardian thing. Or a Jötunn thing. It’s just...me.”

 

Was Loki _sharing_ something? Willingly? “Alright.” Tony nodded.

 

She waved a hand in the air. “I have something of a… fluctuating gender identity.”

 

She had Tony’s full attention. He gave up on watching JARVIS investigate the video feeds and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Fluctuating?”

 

“Correct. Sometimes it’s more masculine or feminine. Or both. Or neither.”

 

Tony blinked, working to comprehend. “We are firmly outside of my scope of experience, here.” He admitted.

 

“I’m not surprised.”

 

“Can I ask questions?”

 

He could tell Loki wanted to say no. But she must have wanted something else _more_ because she answered, “If it helps.”

 

Tony was sure if he were given a few minutes, he could come up with a list of questions. Instead he went for the first one that had popped into his mind. “How often does it...shift? I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you present as anything other than male?”

 

At least Loki didn’t look offended by the question. “It’s not like a calendar, Stark. It varies. But, by and large, I’m always comfortable in my body.”

 

“So, presenting as male all the times doesn’t cause an issue with like… gender dysphoria?”

 

Loki rolled her eyes, which bothered him. He was trying to _understand_ . “I’m _always_ shapeshifting, Stark. Always. 100% of the time. So, no. Whatever dysphoria I might have had to deal with as a child has long since passed.”

 

Loki was always shapeshifting? From what? “Oh.” What did that mean? She had mentioned “a Jötunn thing”. What did a Jötunn look like? Another thought. This one brought a smile to his face. “Does this mean you’re getting more comfortable with me? Sharing this and all?”

 

“I just wanted to have sex. You were the one who felt the need to ask questions about it.”

 

He wasn’t sure if he could believe her. “Oh, shit. I _was_ rude.”

 

“What?”

 

“When I said this was weird. I’m sorry.”

 

“You’re overthinking things. If you don’t want to have sex with me like this, that’s fine. I can change back.”

 

“No! No. I do. Or, I do, if you want to.”

 

Loki was smiling at him again. “I very obviously do.” She joined him on the bed. “Calm down,” she said at his hesitation.

 

“I’m calm,” Tony insisted. “This is just kind of a paradigm shift for me, you know?”

 

“Would me throwing you through a window in this form help?”

 

“That’s not funny.”

 

“I disagree.” She was grinning and Tony wanted to be pissed, but then she was crawling up the bed and he was helpless but to follow.

 

He moved to help unbutton and pull off her shirt, only for their clothing to disappear. “Fuck. Goddamn it, Loki.”

 

She laughed and then was surging up to kiss him, and she tasted the same as ever which helped him relax. This was Loki. Cinnamon and cloves and woodsmoke and brilliant green eyes that would betray emotions if Loki ever let her guard down.

 

Loki had shoved him onto his back, and lowered herself down onto him, and this is what she’d been after. Tony’s pleasure was inconsequential to her, except in how it could be used to get what she wanted.

 

Tony bit back a moan. “Hey, wait.” But she didn’t, rocking herself down on his cock. “Damn it. Condoms?”

 

“What about them?”

 

“Can you get pregnant?”

 

“Technically.” That was absolutely the last thing Tony wanted to hear. “But not right now, so shut up and fuck me, Stark.”

 

Tony wanted to argue but Loki was rubbing her clit and mewling and the fight was lost before it even started.

 

“I’ve missed this.” She admitted as he thrust up into her. He watched her come, shivering and clenching around him. He followed soon after.

 

“Missed being a woman?” Tony asked as Loki curled up beside him.

 

“Missed having a clit.”

 

Tony snorted. Loki was smirking.

 

“JARVIS, have you found anything?” She called out.

 

“I’m afraid not, Ma’am. I’ll let you know as soon as I find anything.”

 

“He’s so polite.” Loki mused before rolling out of bed. Before her feet hit the floor Loki had resumed his typical form. Actually seeing the shift was jarring, and left Tony wide-eyed. “Shower?” He turned back, his expression amused. “You alright, Stark?”

 

“Tell me to close my eyes next time you do that?”

 

“Why?”

 

“It’s kind of unsettling.” Tony explained as he followed Loki into the restroom.

 

Once they were under the stream of hot water, Loki wrapped his arms around Tony, holding him against his chest. “Aside from unsettling, what did you think?”

 

“Did you say you’re always shapeshifting?”

 

Loki tensed. Maybe he’d shared more than he’d planned to. “Sort of.”

 

“What does that mean?”

 

“Don’t worry about it.” Loki’s mouth was on his shoulder, and he knew he was being distracted.

 

“That’s--” Tony yelped when Loki’s hand circled his oversensitive dick. “Fuck. Loki. Too much.”

 

“Hmm?” Loki started stroking him, and it was all Tony could do not to whine.

 

“Stop, please.” Tony was glad for Loki’s arms around him, though. “Unlike you, I have a refractory period.” Loki stilled, but didn’t reply. “Please tell me you know what that is.”

 

“I’m familiar. I _do_ have one.”

 

“Bullshit.”

 

“I’ll admit, it’s shorter than yours--”

 

“Sorry. I’m old.”

 

“No you’re not. You’re what? 50?”

 

Tony huffed. “I’m 48. That’s old in human.” He _did_ whine as Loki resumed stroking him.

 

“How long?”

 

“I don’t know,” he was definitely not whimpering. “I’ve never timed it.”

 

“We should find out.” Loki’s mouth was on his neck and back and shoulders, nipping and kissing and providing something of a distraction. Loki’s hand on him was unpleasant and just shy of painful and very much _too much_ and he couldn’t help the pathetic noises that fell from his mouth.

 

He knew he could ask Loki to stop, use his safeword if he really had to, but a weird curiosity had settled in him. Not so much how long it would take before his dick cooperated--he couldn’t discern the passage of time right then anyway--but how long he could take it. How long he could tolerate the assault on his senses.

 

He _didn’t_ know how much time passed, but eventually the sensation changed. _Too much_ turned to _not enough_ and his whimpers turned to moans until he came with a wrecked sob. Loki, thankfully, just held him up as he gasped for breath.

 

“So,” Tony asked, “how long did it take?”

 

“No idea. I wasn’t paying attention.”

 

Tony hoped he was managing to glare. He was exhausted. And he’d basically just woken up. “I hate you.”

 

“I’m fine with that.”

 

* * *

 

Tony was down in his lab with Peter. Peter had come up with some new ideas for his web shooters and they were working on the practicalities of them. They had reached a lull in conversation as Peter concentrated on the chemistry side of things.

 

Two small fires later, and the teen looked ready to give up for the day. “Why isn’t this working?”

 

Tony pulled the calculations towards him. Peter was better at chemistry, so he didn’t think he’d actually be able to contribute much. But an extra set of eyes on the math never hurt anyway. “No idea.” He admitted after a moment.

 

Peter let out a frustrated groan. “It should work.” He insisted.

 

“We’ll figure it out,” Tony assured him. It was probably something deceptively simple. These things usually were. They’d get so wrapped up in the minute details that they’d misplaced a decimal, or added when they meant to subtract. Dum-E had also already put out two fires, Tony was fine with setting this project aside for the day.

 

“Can we invite Mr. Loki down here?” Peter asked.

 

Tony glanced up, checking if he was serious. “Why on Earth would we want to do that?”

 

Peter spun his chair in circles. “I want to talk to him more about that Violence Scale. I think it’d be super useful.”

 

“Why does he need to be down here for that?”

 

Peter paused his spinning. “In all honesty, I’m a bit anxious about being alone with him again. I don’t think he’d hurt me or anything, it’s just…” He was frowning.

 

“I get it.” Tony understood. Even though nothing had happened, he wasn’t thrilled by the idea of leaving them alone together either. He still wasn’t entirely certain what had set Loki off, even after watching the footage. “I guess it’s fine. I’ll go get him.”

 

Tony ascended The Tower. He found Loki at the kitchen table, eating what looked like a Poptart, and looking lost in thought. “That good?”

 

Loki jumped. He had been lost in thought, if Tony had been able to sneak up on him. “What do you want?”

 

“I live here.” Tony reminded him. “Peter and I are working in the lab. D’you want to come down?”

 

“You’re going to let me into your lab?” Loki asked, disbelieving.

 

“The offer expires in 30 seconds. Yes or no?”

 

“Yes.” Loki was on his feet, the food abandoned.

 

“Mr Loki!” Peter was standing just outside the elevator, just shy of vibrating. “I’m so sorry. About before.”

 

Loki just waved off his concern. “There’s nothing to be sorry for. You couldn’t have known how I’d react.”

 

Tony watched Peter relax. “I’m glad. That you’re not still upset at me, I mean.”

 

For the first time that Tony had ever seen, Loki looked taken aback. “I was never upset at you.”

 

Peter was smiling, and Loki wasn’t, but he looked relaxed. Tony changed his mind and returned to looking over Peter’s formulas. There really was no reason they should have caught fire.

 

“So, if it’s ok with you, I wanted to ask you about the Violence Scale.” Peter explained, leading Loki into the lab.

 

Tony watched as Loki quickly took in his surroundings. Tony recognized what he was doing--he did it himself often enough--looking for escape routes, potential weapons, anything that could mean _danger_. “Violence Scale?”

 

“Yeah. The whole, “1 to 10, how much do you want to hurt someone” thing?”

 

Loki nodded. “Ah, that. Of course.” He took the chair Peter had been using, and Peter jumped up onto the table, legs swinging over the edge. “Ask away.”

 

Peter grabbed his notebook. “So, 1 is nothing, and 10 is...what? Dead?”

 

“Nine is dead.” Loki corrected.

 

Tony glanced up, “What’s 10, then?”

 

“A slow and painful death.”

 

“Comforting.”

 

Peter did his best to look unphased. “So, at what point is: I want to cause significant physical harm?”

 

Loki considered for a moment. “Around a 5.”

 

Peter went slightly pale. Loki had been at a 6 during their last encounter. “So, 2 to 4?”

 

“Less significant harm. Two is hurt. Three to four would be an injury. Five to six, slight maiming.”

 

Peter mouthed, _slight maiming_. “So… 7 and 8?”

 

“Make them wish they were dead.”

 

Tony wasn’t sure how he felt about how easily Loki talked about this. “So, nine is a mercy, then?”

 

Loki glanced back at him. “Of a sort. That’s the issue with torture. There’s only one way to go up from there.”

 

Peter’s pen stopped. “Have you tortured people?” He asked quietly.

 

It took a moment before Loki replied. “Rarely.”

 

Tony wasn’t paying attention to the formula anymore. “But not never?”

 

“But not never.” He confirmed.

 

“What--ok, no. Actually, I don’t think I want to know.” Peter was staring at his notebook.

 

Loki managed to look apologetic. “If it helps, torturing isn’t really my style.”

 

“Right. You prefer manipulation.”

 

Loki met Tony’s eyes. “So do you.”

 

Tony bristled, wanting to argue. He didn’t _manipulate_ people. Except that he did. Frequently. Easily. But he didn’t kill people. Except that he had. Horribly. At least he could say he’d never tortured anyone.

 

Peter cleared his throat, breaking the tension of the room. “Back to the topic at hand. I just wanted to like, have that scale figured out. So that we can keep using it.”

 

“Keep using it?” Loki asked, mirroring Tony’s confusion.

 

“Yeah? I mean, you don’t want to go back to hurting people, do you?”

 

Peter’s question so was fucking genuine. And Loki still wasn’t smiling, but his demeanor shifted. Warmth, maybe. “Not if I don’t have to.”

 

Peter was grinning. “Great!”

 

Tony couldn’t guess why Peter could so easily break down Loki’s defenses, but he was grateful for it. He was pretty sure that Loki just _liked_ Peter, even if he wouldn’t admit it.

 

* * *

 

The Avengers had fought plenty of weird stuff in the last 10 years. Aliens, monsters, robots. Alien robots. But as Tony watched the ball of metal hurling itself towards the pier he decided that this was a very different sort of weird. It had a 3-meter diameter and was covered by what looked to be engravings. Except that any time Tony got close, one of the engravings would glow and an appendage would shoot out. It favored projectiles and at first Tony was glad that it was heading away from the city. Until he realized that the pier was _packed_ with families. Some event or another was going on.

 

When he’d first gotten the report, he’d scoffed at the idea of needing help. It was one little machine, how bad could it be. He had this.

 

“I was wrong, I don’t have this.”

 

Steve would give him crap for it, later, he knew. But for the moment he and Sam had hit the scene. They appeared quickly enough that he knew they’d already been on their way.

 

The...ball--whatever it was--was incredibly resilient. They couldn’t even slow it down. Once, it turned, and Tony thought that maybe Steve had damaged it, but no. It had just found a new target in the form of a red-clad teenager.

 

“Damn it, Parker! What are you doing here?”

 

“Saw it on the news!” Peter explained through the comms. “I figured I could help.” Peter’s webbing was the first thing that had seemed to phase it. Not a lot, but hey, progress.

 

“We’ve got it handled,” Steve said. Lied. “Go home.”

 

But now the ball only seemed to be focused on Peter who had done a good job of throwing himself into a corner. Not an actual corner, because that might have been useful. No, instead he was just in the middle of the boardwalk, which didn’t lend itself to Peter’s web-slinging tactics.

 

**Peter**

 

Peter _might_ have made a mistake, he reasoned. Never before had a wide-open area felt so daunting. He was still strong and agile, but the machine could turn on a dime and seemed to have it out for him.

 

Karen informed him that he was getting low on web fluid, which did nothing to ease his anxiety as he did his best to distract the ball and keep it away from the evacuating families. He heard gunfire, and reasoned that maybe the police had been called. Except, “Who’s shooting?” Sam asked, sounding bewildered.

 

Peter chanced a look around him, until he saw the source of the gunfire. It wasn’t the police, Peter was sure of that. It was a man (probably) standing in a suit made of red leather holding two guns and _talking_.

 

“Yeah, that’s right you motherfucker! Pick on someone your own-- FUCK!” He threw the guns to the side. Peter had stopped running when he watched him pull two swords from his back and run at the machine.

 

“Ah, hell. What is _he_ doing here?” Tony groaned.

 

Peter watched as a long arm materialized from the ball and grabbed the stranger, lifted him up, and just _threw_ him. It might have been comical if the man wasn’t about to die. Peter ran towards him. This was probably his last web. He would just have to make it count. He aimed, desperate to catch him, and--missed. Too low. But how?

 

The man was floating back down to the ground safely. Peter wasn’t sure when Loki had appeared. The ball was still spinning, careening towards them. He saw Loki say something he didn’t catch, and had the impression that the Red Man was grinning, despite his covered face.

 

He was dimly aware of Tony swearing in his ear, but was mostly focused on the scene before him. He stood, transfixed, as Loki picked up the stranger and threw him at the ball. There was no way the Red Man yelled “Yeet!” as he shot through the air, missing Peter by inches with one of the swords.

 

He hit his mark. Peter turned in time to watch him pull the swords from the metal, drops of blood splattering to the ground. Blood? From the machine? The man turned back to look at Peter, but Peter was still staring at the blood that was leaking from the ball.

 

“Hey there, cutie. Thanks for the save attempt. You come here often?”

 

Peter didn’t reply. Wasn’t sure how he managed to stay upright. There was someone dead in there.

 

Red Man seemed to deflate a little. “Spider-Man, right? Are you ok?”

 

“There was a person in there.” Peter heard how shrill his voice was. Didn’t care.

 

“Did you not realize?” Loki was at their side.

 

Red Man looked angry. Peter wasn’t sure how he could tell, but he could. “Did you Avenger assholes weaponize a kid?” He was growling at Loki.

 

Peter wasn’t a kid. Although right then he didn’t have the strength to argue. All the fight had gone out of him. _Shock_ he recognized.

 

“Deadpool, what the fuck?” Tony landed a few feet away. Deadpool? Was that Red Man’s name?

 

“Spider-man, are you alright?” Steve was there, hand on Peter’s shoulder, concern etched on his face.

 

Peter shook his head. He wasn’t alright. “I, um--”

 

“He’s not injured,” Loki provided, before glaring at Tony. “You didn’t tell him you were fighting a person?” He looked pissed. Dangerous.

 

Tony’s mask flipped up. “We were fighting a person?” He heard Tony confer with JARVIS and watched him scan the machine, trying to figure out how they didn’t realize that. “I didn’t read any sort of lifesigns,” He explained. “It was--is--blocking my scanners.”

 

Steve was looking over the machine. The blood had stopped flowing. “Who could make something like this?”

 

“Stark could.” Red Man--Deadpool--spoke, finally taking his eyes off of Peter.

 

Tony rounded on him. “Are you saying _I_ built this?”

 

“Mr. Stark wouldn’t!” Peter snapped back to himself.

 

“I just said he could. Not that he did.” Deadpool shrugged.

 

“What are you doing here, Deadpool?” Tony asked.

 

Deadpool’s hands clapped against the sides of his face in exaggerated glee. “My reputation precedes me!”

 

“It’s not a good reputation,” Steve told him, “I wouldn’t be proud of it.”

 

“Hey, I’m the one who stopped him.”

 

“We didn’t need your help.” Steve insisted.

 

“Maybe now isn’t the time?” Sam landed nearby and gestured towards the civilians who were making their way back, now that the danger was over. Cell phones out, snapping pictures, recording video.

 

“Shit. Loki, get--” Tony paused, looking around. “Ok, he’s already gone. Good.” Loki had disappeared after Deadpool had suggested that Tony’s tech was capable of making the machine.

 

Peter swallowed, had to know. “Deadpool? Did you realize? That there was a person in there?”

 

“Nope.” Deadpool knocked on the ball, listening as it echoed. “Loki said aim for the center, so I aimed for the center.”

 

“So Mr. Loki knew there was a person in there?!” He squeaked.

 

“Yeah. I think so.” Tony said gently.

 

Peter’s chest hurt. “He said he didn’t want to hurt people.”

 

He saw Steve’s mouth twitch. “Yeah, well.”

 

Deadpool scoffed. “It was to save your life, Spidey. Should we have just let you die instead?”

 

Tony took a step forward. “We didn’t need your help, Deadpool.”

 

“I beg to differ. You obviously did!” Deadpool was in Tony’s face. “Unless you were just cool with him getting killed?”

 

“Of course not.”

 

“Then. You. Needed. My. Help.” Deadpool was walking forward, forcing Tony back.

 

“Stop.” Peter pushed between them, easily separating them. “It’s done! Let’s just deal with what happens next.”

 

Deadpool was tense, probably surprised by Peter’s strength. He took a step back before patting Peter on the shoulder. “You did good, Webs.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm beginning to think this won't be done by the 30th. :'( But I'll still try my best!
> 
> Also, as a heads up, once I'm finished with this, I plan to go back and do some edits and rewrites of the other parts (especially the first 5) so that they fall in line a bit better. :)


	5. August

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A (comparatively) short chapter today. There was another scene planned, but it just didn't _fit_ so it was cut.
> 
> TW: I don't know what to call this. Non-negotiated consensual dub-con?
> 
> I'm not sure it's as bad on paper as it is in my head. Let me know if you think it deserves a heavier warning.

_ Trust in me and falter _

_ I will only swallow whole _

_ You're weak and I am evil _

_ Oh, you're such a fragile soul _

_ I'll find out wherever you ar _ e

_ I'll find where your base is _

_ \-- _ Seether _ , Turn Around _

  
  


It was two days before Tony had a chance to confront Loki. Loki hadn’t returned to The Tower. Tony didn’t know where he’d gone. That was an argument for later, though.

 

“What were you even doing out there?” He hadn’t planned to start out with yelling, but here he was.

 

Loki looked unphased from where he had draped himself across an armchair. “I was helping.”

 

“You killed someone.”

 

“Who was going to kill Peter.”

 

Tony ran a hand through his hair. “You can’t just kill people!” 

 

Loki was up and in his face. “Are you going to stop me?” He hissed.

 

But Tony wouldn’t be cowed. “Yes.”

 

“How?”

 

Tony paused. That was the million dollar question, wasn’t it? How was he supposed to stop Loki from just doing whatever he wanted. He couldn’t. Couldn’t even keep him in The Tower, much less away from civilians. Not really. Unless Loki wanted to play nice. Wanted to stop. Was it possible to just convince him?

 

“You traumatized Peter.” Maybe changing tactics would work.

 

“That’s better than him being dead.” Loki narrowed his eyes. “Would it be better if you’d killed him, Stark? Do you think anything else was going to stop him?”

 

“Yes, probably!” Tony shoved against Loki’s chest, forcing some distance between them. “If we had know there was a person in there, we could have--”

 

“Could have  _ what _ ?”

 

“Dragged him out of the machine! Figured something out.”

 

Loki wasn’t going to allow him space. “Really? And how long would that have taken? No one died because I made the choice you wouldn’t have made.”

 

Tony was ready to punch him. Consequences be damned. “Someone  _ did  _ die, Loki!”

 

“Not someone that mattered.”

 

Tony turned, stalking away from Loki. That was the crux of the issue. Only certain people mattered to Loki. Everyone else was inconsequential. Collateral damage. He only got halfway across the room before Loki was speaking again.

 

“What would you have done differently, then? If you’d known it was alive?”

 

“I don’t know! Ok?” Tony admitted. “I don’t know what I would have done differently. I  _ know _ that nothing we were doing was working. Nothing I did phased it. Peter only slowed it down a little. You’re right. People were going to die.”

 

Loki didn’t look pleased by his admission. “Then why are you so angry at me?”

 

“Because you don’t feel even the slightest bit guilty about it! You and Deadpool murdered someone, and you don’t care.”

 

He looked incensed. “You’re not angry that he’s dead. Or that I killed him. You’re angry because...what? Because I’m fine with it? With killing someone who was attacking my--attacking innocent people?” Tony caught the stutter. Didn’t know what Loki had been going to say. His what? “You want me to feel guilty about it?”

 

“Yes!”

 

“Well, I don’t. Nor will I. Deadpool and I saved people. I’m not about to feel badly about that.” 

 

“Then feel bad that you betrayed Peter.”

 

Loki’s anger faltered. “I would have preferred not to have upset him,” he acknowledged. “But I didn’t  _ betray _ him.”

 

“You said you didn’t want to hurt people.” It was Tony’s turn to get in Loki’s personal space. 

 

“Unless I had to.” Loki corrected him.

 

Tony had lost this fight and he knew it. He could follow Loki’s logic. He hadn’t killed the man for the sake of killing him, he’d done it to protect Peter. But he was so damned blasé about it. Tony was still pissed off. Was still pissed off when he grabbed Loki by the hair. And still pissed off as he pressed their bodies together, capturing Loki’s mouth in a harsh kiss.

 

Loki made a noise of surprise, but recovered quickly, digging his fingers into Tony’s back. 

 

“You’re fucking impossible.” Tony growled into his mouth.

 

“Yes.” Loki agreed.

 

“I’ve never had a moment’s control over this situation, have I?”

 

Loki was smiling against him. “Not a one.”

 

Tony grabbed Loki’s lip between his teeth and bit down, earning himself a cry and a taste of the god’s blood. Loki was quick to retaliate, shoving Tony to the ground and knocking the wind out of him. Before Tony could even think about catching his breath Loki was on him, pinning his arms above his head. 

 

“How did you think that was going to turn out?”

 

“I was hoping about like this.” Tony admitted, wrapping his legs around Loki’s. 

 

As with everything else involving Loki during the last few months, the situation quickly spiraled out of Tony’s control. Something soft coiled around his arms and the weight of it held them there, immobile. 

 

“You’re going to want to get these wet.” Loki said, sliding two fingers into Tony’s mouth.

 

Tony’s eyes went wide and he pushed the offending digits out with his tongue. “Spit is  _ not _ a substitute for lube,” he complained.

 

Loki’s fingers rested against Tony’s lips. He looked amused in a way that didn’t sit quite right with Tony. “I’m not sure you understand the situation, Anthony.” Loki’s tone dripped venom but his words went straight to Tony’s dick. That was something he’d have to unpack later. “The lube is more for your comfort than mine.”  Tony could picture it--Loki forcing him open-- “Besides. Until it starts to coagulate, blood can be an excellent lubricant.”

 

Tony opened his mouth then, welcoming the intrusion of Loki’s fingers without further complaint. “That’s what I thought,” Loki murmured, and it sounded like praise. Once Loki was satisfied, though Tony wasn’t sure he was, Tony’s clothes vanished. Loki, however, remained fully clothed. Which Tony didn’t think was entirely fair. But Loki was pushing spit slicked fingers into him and Tony’s muscles burned in protest. Loki wasn’t paying Tony’s noises of discomfort any mind. His fingers moved inside him, twisting and scissoring, occasionally brushing against a bundle of nerves until pain and pleasure became distant concepts and could feel was  _ this _ .

 

And then Loki’s fingers slipped free, and Tony let out a whine at the loss. A jolt of realization shot through him as he heard Loki undoing his pants. He jerked away from the feeling of blunt pressure as Loki started pushing into him. But Loki just grabbed his legs, holding him open. And  _ thank fuck _ for Loki’s bullshit magic lube. He’d been lying. Wouldn’t  _ actually _ . The stretch was still just shy of painful but Tony found himself relaxing into the knowledge that Loki wasn’t really planning to injure him. 

 

Loki set a punishing pace, letting his frustration and anger bleed into his movements and Tony was helpless to do more than writhe under him, desperately seeking friction for his cock. He could feel when Loki came inside him, but the god didn’t pull out. “Fuck.” Tony whined. “Please, Loki. I want--”

 

“Want what?”

 

“--to come.”

 

Let out a deprecating sort of laugh. “I go out of my way to protect people, only to have you yell at me for it. And then you have the audacity to ask me to let you come?” Loki was moving again. “You can come from my cock or not at all.” 

 

Tony wasn’t sure that was actually possible for him, even as Loki hit his prostate with every thrust. But before long heat coiled in his gut, and he was  _ certain _ that he could come from a strong breeze. He was close, unbelievably close, if he could just--

 

Loki pulled out, still holding Tony open, leaving him feeling vulnerable in a way he never had before.

 

“No. Fuck. Loki, please.  _ Please _ . I’ll do--” He cut himself off.

 

“You’ll do what?” Loki pushed.

 

_ Anything _ , Tony didn’t say. That was playing with fire and he knew it. “What do you want?” he asked instead.

 

“I want you to  _ thank me _ .”

 

“Thank you,” Tony acquiesced. “Thank you for saving Peter,”  _ and probably everyone else,  _ “and those families. Thank you for making the choice that none of us would have.”

 

“And?”

 

_ And? _ Tony wasn’t sure what Loki wanted, but he had a pretty good idea. But, no. He wasn’t going to budge on that. “And you still fucking murdered someone,” he bit out.

 

But Loki was grinning as he slammed back into him, his hand fisting around Tony’s cock. Tony howled as he came, cum spilling onto his stomach.

 

* * *

  
  


**Peter**

 

It was August 10th and Peter was now 17-years-old. Basically an adult, as far as he was concerned. Between school and Spider-man, he was even managing to pull in some money with a delivery app. May had insisted that no, he didn’t need to pay rent. Which didn’t stop him from sliding money into her purse when he could manage it.

 

He’d even tried to talk Tony out of throwing him any sort of party. He was an adult, he didn’t need or want a birthday party. But then Tony just went behind his back and invited Ned, and and Ned wouldn’t let him refuse the offer. 

 

So, despite his protests, Peter found himself at the Avenger’s Tower, doing his best to rein in Ned’s excitement.

 

“So, you’re Pete’s guy in the chair!” Tony had greeted Ned the same way he greeted most people: with open arms. 

 

Ned had replied with a high pitched noise until Peter jabbed him in the side with his elbow. “Dude.”

 

“Sorry!” Ned shook Tony’s hand. “But you’re--and I’m--”

 

Tony laughed, taking Ned’s excitement in stride. 

 

Ned’s reaction really let Peter appreciate the incredible people he’d become surrounded by over the last year. He was less starstruck by Steve, and that probably had to do with the ridiculous amount of videos that the school had shown them over the last few years. There was nothing quite like having your childhood hero repeatedly tell you off for minor infractions to dull the feeling of finally meeting them. 

 

He watched Ned give Loki and Bucky a wide berth--which was probably fair--and trip over himself when Natasha introduced herself. He was nearly normal when talking with Bruce and Colonel Rhodes. Nearly. 

 

“You have such cool friends.” Ned whispered, conspiratorially.  Peter laughed. Because he did have cool friends.

 

“Thanks for coming.” He grinned at Ned. “You’re doing a great job at keeping their attention off of me.” 

 

There was a tense moment when Pepper showed up. She handed Peter an envelope with “Happy Birthday!” written on the front and gave him a hug. He tried his best not to eavesdrop when she walked by to talk to Tony. He caught sight of Bucky’s hand on Loki’s arm and a muttered, “You don’t need to run.”

 

He tried to keep track of the story that Natasha and Steve were telling them, but couldn’t stop the sigh of relief at the soft tones he heard from Tony and Pepper. They sounded happy. He glanced back and saw them briefly hug.

 

“You have to stop avoiding coming by SI, Tony. You do still have an  _ actual _ job there.” Watched her walk away from Tony and pause in front of Loki. Peter was pretty sure that only he and Loki heard her next words. “You should know, Loki. That I can use Tony’s suits. And that JARVIS likes me. And that if you hurt him I will find out, and I will  _ end _ you.” She didn’t give Loki a chance to reply before she was out the door with a wave and smile.

 

“What’s up?” He should have known that Natasha would have been watching, too.

 

“She just threatened Loki.”

 

Natasha smirked, “Good. Now the rest of us don’t have to.”

 

“Presents?” Tony called from the other side of the room. 

 

Peter’s eyes widened. “Oh no. Tell me you guys didn’t. You didn’t have to--”

 

“Yeah, we know, kid.” Steve reached over and ruffled his hair. “But we wanted to.” 

 

Bruce and Tony (mostly Bruce, Peter was pretty sure) had figured out the issue with Peter’s formula and were running a few more tests before giving a go at producing the new web fluid. Bruce had also bought him a few comic books, stating and “Fixing a formula isn’t really a gift.”

 

Tony had tracked down the original theatrical cuts of the original Star Wars trilogy and proudly handed them over on a thumb drive. Something that Ned seemed more excited about than Peter was--and Peter was pretty excited to see them. 

 

Steve had drawn him.  _ Him _ . Spider-Man. He was only slightly embarrassed by the noises of awed gratitude he made. Natasha passed over a meticulously wrapped box full of clothing. Nice clothing, too. He was certain without trying them on that they would fit him perfectly, too. Colonel Rhodes passed over a giftcard with an apologetic, “I don’t know what kids like.” When he opened Pepper’s envelope, he found a nice card and another gift card--this one was for the Lego Store. 

 

Bucky had, apparently, baked the cake. Which earned an incredulous “You can cook?” from Tony. Bucky kind of glared at him, but there was no heat to it. 

 

Peter was startled when Loki pressed something into his hand. “I have been informed,” Loki said slowly, “that my battle tactics were...less than ideal.”

 

“Less than ideal?” Peter echoed. It wasn’t that he wasn’t grateful that Loki had saved him. It didn’t look like Loki intended to try to defend himself, though. Peter glanced down at the gift. Wasn’t sure what he was looking at. Three stones held against each other with what Peter could only call a golden thread. “Thanks?” He offered. “What is it?” He asked when an explanation wasn’t forthcoming.

 

“Those two,” Loki pointed to the two smooth stones: one was nearly white, while the other was more of a green shade, “are Singasteinn--singing stones. The white one brings good luck. The green one banishes ill.” The third stone was dark grey and rough. “The third is a piece of Gjǫll.”

 

“Gyull?” Peter tried.

 

“Close enough.” 

 

“What’s a Gyull?”

 

“A river, amongst other things.” That was the closest Peter managed to get to an answer. He didn’t know what it did, or what it was for, and he could just barely pronounce the name of it. He figured this was as close to an apology as he was likely to get.

 

* * *

  
  


It was Friday night as Peter swung from building to building, watching the streets of Queens for anything interesting. He’d been out for two hours and the neighborhood seemed to want to give him a break. Which, really, suited Peter just fine. He didn’t want to be out too late that night anyway.

 

He was in an infectiously good mood as he danced across a rooftop and definitely didn’t scream when he suddenly backed into someone else up there. Because who the hell  _ else _ would be on a rooftop at 11pm?

 

Deadpool would be, it turned out. Deadpool was laughing at him. “Having a good time, Spidey?”

 

“I was.” Peter snapped. He didn’t really want to deal with Deadpool right then. Especially not as Deadpool grabbed his arm and spun him around.

 

“D’you know how to waltz, Webs?”

 

Peter frowned, knowing Deadpool couldn’t see his expression. “Yep. I’m not going to dance with you, though.”

 

Deadpool released him with a sigh. “You still upset about the other day? It’s been two weeks.”

 

“You killed someone.” Peter stepped away from the other man, glancing around for the best escape route. He could probably jump to the next building without much trouble.

 

“Does it help that I thought I was just stabbing a machine?”

 

Peter paused. It kind of did. “A little.” He glanced back. “You would have done the same thing if you’d know, though.”

 

Deadpool shrugged. “Yeah, probably. He was going after kids.”

 

“I’m not a kid.” Peter snapped.

 

Deadpool snorted. “You’re sensitive about that, aren’t you? I meant the families at the pier.”

 

Peter turned around properly. “Oh. Yeah.” He rubbed absently as his arm. “Thanks for saving me ass, too.”

 

“Anytime, Webs.” He was pretty sure Deadpool was grinning at him. “So, what lead to your impromptu dance?”

 

“My friends are throwing me a birthday party tomorrow.” He said without thinking.

 

“The Avengers?”

 

“No.” MJ and Ned and May, mostly. “Well, they did too.”

 

Deadpool nodded. “Ah, non-superhero friends.” Deadpool made like he was ruffling Peter’s hair, rubbing the top of his mask. “So, how old are you now, Kiddo?”

 

Peter bristled, pushing Deadpool’s hand away. “I just said I’m not a kid. I’m so sick of people acting like I am. Just because I’m not in my 30s like everyone else, that doesn’t mean I’m a child.” He hadn’t meant to yell, but here he was.

 

Deadpool took a step back, hands in the air. “Is having people care your well-being so bad?” He asked quietly.

 

Why was everyone so good at invalidating his complaints lately. “No. I guess not. But it’s still frustrating.”

 

Deadpool huffed a laugh. “What kind of food do you like?”

 

Peter blinked at the non-sequitur. “What?”

 

“We’re surrounded by food and I’m hungry. D’you want anything? I’m buying.”

 

Peter  _ was _ actually kind of hungry. “Oh. Um, sure. Thanks.” He let Deadpool buy him a corndog.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It occurs to me that Peter/Wade would be a better slow burn if I hadn't already posted Fur Cue. *shrug*
> 
> I also hadn't intended SpideyPool to be so big in this story. WELP, I'm just running with it now.
> 
> Other background ships (for the curious): Stucky and some light Thor/Bruce.


	6. September

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap, I just might finish this before the 30th. I don't know that it's likely, but it's not impossible. :O

_ Point your blameless finger _

_ Praise aloud your virtues, all _

_ I'll find out wherever you are _

_ You'll find where your god is _

_ \-- _ Seether _ , Turn Around _

  
  


Tony wasn’t sure exactly when Loki had started spending time in his lab. It had been at least a few weeks. Having Loki there was oddly helpful from time to time. He was a willing sounding board for Tony’s ideas, and had a surprisingly firm grasp of several sciences. He seemed especially comfortable working with metals.

 

So when his muttered, “Son of a bitch,” was met with a chuckle he wasn’t surprised. But he was annoyed. 

 

Loki was on the other side of the lab, messing with the phone Tony had given him. “If we need your help, we’ll call.” Tony had told him. They both knew that Loki wasn’t going to listen, but at least he could say he had made an effort towards keeping him controlled.

 

“What’s wrong?” Loki glanced up at him.

 

Tony returned his attention to the monitor in front of him. “I’m testing a new targeting system.”

 

“And?”

 

“And I think I have to write a new simulation.” 

 

Loki hopped up from his seat and hovered behind Tony, looking over his shoulder. “What’s this one doing? Or not doing. Whatever the problem is.”

 

“The targeting system works great. Passes all of the simulations I’ve thrown at it with flying colors.”

 

“That doesn’t sound like a problem.”

 

Tony glared at the monitor. “Of course it is.”

 

There was a pause. “You’re frustrated because it’s working correctly?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Why?”

 

Tony huffed. “Because it means there’s something wrong with the test.”

 

That earned him an audible sigh. “Stark, you’ve been making weapons for 30 years. I’d hope you were good at it by now.”

 

Tony turned to face him. “I need to know where it’s falling short. Even if I can’t fix it, I need to know how it’s most likely to fail. I can’t do that right now. So I have to program a new simulation until I can.”

 

“Why not use it on something besides a simulation?”

 

“I’m not just going to take an untested piece of equipment into a fight.”

 

Loki rolled his eyes. “Of course not.”

 

“Then what are you suggesting I test it on?”

 

“Me.”

 

Tony blinked. “Pardon?”

 

“Well, my sorcery, at least. I’m sure I can come up with scenarios and techniques more unpredictable than your random number generators would think up in years.”

 

The offer was tempting. “That’s insanely dangerous.”

 

Loki just shrugged. “It’s not like you’d ever be able to hit me.” Tony saw the smirk on his face. Knew he was being baited.

 

“Wanna bet?” It was  _ on _ .

 

“Ten minutes. If you can hit me  _ once _ in ten minutes, you win.”

 

“What do I win?” 

 

Loki’s eyes sparkled. “What do you want?”

 

Tony hesitated. What did he want? Plenty of things. But what did he think Loki might actually agree to? “I want a blowjob.”

 

Loki blinked. “You what?”

 

“You heard me.”

 

It was Loki’s turn to hesitate. “Done. And if I win...” He watched Loki ponder his options. “I want to leave The Tower. For two days. I’ll come back.” 

 

Technically Loki left whenever he wanted anyway. But since he was asking for permission… “Sounds fair.”  He held out his hand and they shook on it.

 

~*~*~*~

 

The Avengers--technically Tony--owned a patch of land that was generally used for long-range target practice. It maybe wasn’t the best place for this, but it was secluded enough that they shouldn’t attract any unwanted attention. 

 

It felt weird to stand there facing off with Loki, standing there in black and green leather, an almost manic gleam in his eyes. And  _ fuck _ Loki was fast. The timer had only just started when he was hit by a strong enough percussive force to throw him to the side. “Wasn’t this about testing my targeting system, and you dodging?” He groused.

 

“The best defense is a good offense,” Loki laughed, easily dodging the shots Tony fired at him. He wasn’t sure what would happen if he hit his mark. But Loki had been right, his targeting system didn’t stand a chance against him. Of course most enemies they fought couldn’t appear and disappear at will, or create an unlimited number of copies of themselves. 

 

Tony was at least managing to hit most of the illusions. That might have been intentional on Loki’s part though. Which planted a distressing thought in Tony’s head: if they were ever  _ seriously _ fighting, and it came down to a one-on-one match between them, Tony wasn’t sure he could win. Not how the suit was now. Not how  _ he _ was, now. 

 

That was made abundantly clear when a column of ice shot from the ground and hit Tony in the back, leaving him crashing to the ground. He managed to push himself to his knees only for the ice to reappear, holding his arms to his sides. “JARVIS!”

 

“Working, Sir.” He felt the arms of the suit start overheating. It was unpleasant, but would melt the ice. Except that it  _ didn’t _ .

 

“Magic, Iron Man.” Loki was in front of him, resting his hand on the side of Tony’s helmet. “I must say, I do love seeing you like this: on your knees, where you belong.” Tony did his best to jerk to the side. Could feel the suit overheating differently as it strained to break free. “Now, now. Do calm down. I’d hate for you to get hurt.” Loki cooed at him.

 

“I’ll show you  _ getting hurt, _ ” Tony grumbled. He had, at best, one shot at this. The lower right hand corner of his HUD told him he still had 1 minute. Plenty of time. Of course now he couldn’t talk to JARVIS, with Loki standing right there. He shifted, trying to move as little as possible as he input the controls manually. 

 

“Less than a minutes left. Are you just giving up?”

 

The panel hiding his shoulder-mounted gun slid open. “Nope.” One shot was all it took to send Loki flying backwards. The ice holding him shattered. “Oh thank God that worked.” Tony whispered to himself. He was up and moving towards Loki in the next moment. “Hey, are you alright?”

 

Loki rolled onto his side, laughing. “That was underhanded.” 

 

Tony waited for his laughter to subside. He didn’t think he’d ever seen Loki laugh that hard when it wasn’t at someone else’s expense. “You said two days, didn’t you?”

 

“What?” Loki’s eyes snapped up to him.

 

“That was the deal. You wanted two days of freedom from The Tower.”

 

“I lost.” Loki sat up.

 

“Yep. I’m still giving you your two days. From now on...just let me know when you’re planning on disappearing.”

 

“So, what? I come back in two days and give you a blowjob?”

 

Tony’s faceplate flipped up. “Yep,” he said, brightly.

 

Loki stood up. He seemed unharmed, just a bit miffed. “I’ll see you in two days.”

 

~*~*~*~

 

What Tony hadn’t recognized that Loki being gone for two days was going to mean two days without sleep. Which was ridiculous, really. He should be able to sleep alone. He was an adult. But it wasn’t something he’d ever been great at, not since college. 

 

After realizing that he was shit out of luck on the whole sleep issue, Tony finished putting Peter’s new web fluid through as many tests as he could conceive. Peter argued that Tony tested things far more than necessary, but this was a big part of what kept Peter alive and safe. He  _ couldn’t _ test it too much. He could, however, run out of tests. Which eventually happened about an hour after JARVIS let him know that Loki had returned from...wherever he had gone. 

 

He wasn’t terribly surprised when he got back up to his living room and Loki just looked him up and down. “You look like shit.”

 

“Thanks. I love hearing things like that.” 

 

There was no way that Loki looked concerned. “Did you sleep at all over the last few days?”

 

“Of course I did.” Not technically a lie. He had slept a little bit.

 

“How much?”

 

“Some.”

 

“JARVIS?”

 

“Damn it.”

 

“Mr. Stark has slept for approximately two hours since you left.”

 

Loki looked frustrated.  “Alright, Stark. Go to bed. It’s what? Three in the morning?”

 

Tony checked his watch. “2:50,” he corrected.

 

“Bed. Sleep. Now.” Loki actually grabbed hold of his shoulders and forcefully directed him towards the bedroom.

 

“There, I’m in bed. Happy?” Tony asked from under the covers.

 

Loki left the room, only to return with a book. He crawled onto the bed and leaned back against the pillows, propping the book against his leg. “I’ll be happier when you’ve slept.”

 

Loki was definitely not concerned about him, Tony reasoned. He was just more useful when he wasn’t sleep deprived. Their relationship wasn’t based on anything more than sex. They were coexisting, and that was it. If he stretched the definitions, someone might be able to argue that they were friendly with each other.

 

Those thoughts did nothing to quell of feeling of  _ contentment _ that warmed him when Loki shifted and lightly pressed his knee against Tony’s back. Did nothing to stop the fact that he was  _ comforted _ by the weight on the bed next to him as he finally dropped off to sleep.

 

~*~*~*~

 

Tony woke up alone the next morning. Which was typical. He could count on one hand the times he’d woken up to find Loki still asleep. He was pretty sure the god ran on less sleep than he did. He didn’t know if that was impressive or not. Thor always seemed to sleep about the same amount as his human companions. Maybe he’d think to ask sometime. But when he stretched out, he found that the side of the bed Loki had been occupying was still warm. And the book he’d been reading was sitting on the nightstand. Well then. 

 

Good. Loki was up and awake, and that meant that Tony could talk to him about something that hadn’t been sitting right with him. “Morning.” He greeted. Loki greeted him by pointing as a plate of eggs sitting on the coffee table. “You do know you don’t actually have to cook, right?”

 

“I like to cook.”

 

Tony joined him on the couch. He wasn’t going to argue with that. “I want to change the terms of our bet.”

 

Loki finally looked up at him. “You don’t get to do that.” He frowned, but curiosity must have won out. “Change them to what?”

 

Tony took a bite of the eggs. “Having you give me a blowjob because I won a bet feels kind of coercive,” he explained. “Instead I want you to tell me why you’re opposed to it.”

 

Loki rolled his eyes. “I’m not opposed to it.”

 

“Yeah? Is that why in all the time we’ve been fucking, it hasn’t happened once?”

 

He saw Loki tense for just a moment, before he just looked annoyed. “Maybe I just don’t like doing it?”

 

“Maybe,” Tony nodded. “And if you tell me that that’s the whole of it, I won’t push it.”

 

He didn’t think he’d ever seen Loki fidget before. It was kind of disquieting, seeing him look so uncomfortable. “Ok, counter-offer.”

 

He wasn’t just going to lie to him? “I’m listening.”

 

“I’ll suck you off, and you’ll let me keep my reasons to myself.”

 

Instead Loki managed to suggest the opposite of what he’d been hoping for. “Nevermind. Forget about it.” Loki looked over at him questioningly. “You, for reasons that are entirely your own, don’t want to do it. I’m not going to ask you to.”

 

“You already  _ did _ ask me to,” he pointed out.

 

Tony shrugged. “Well, I’m rescinding my request. I don’t want you doing anything you’re uncomfortable with.”

 

“We had a bet.”

 

“We sure did.”

 

“That you won.”

 

“Yep. I got to test out my new targeting system,  _ and _ I got the satisfaction of having bested you in a fight. Win-win.”

 

“That’s not how this works.”

 

Tony set the empty plate back down. “Why not?”

 

“Because I  _ lost _ .”

 

“So?”

 

“I lost and you still let me leave.”

 

“Win-win-win, then.”

 

“No,” Loki snapped. “I don’t just back out of my deals.”

 

“You should reconsider that policy.”

 

Loki crossed his arms, looking petulant. “Pick something else, then.”

 

“What?”

 

“That you want from me. Pick something else.”

 

Tony looked over, considering. What did he want? Information, really. Data points. “Fine.”  _ Where do you disappear to? How did you wind up with control of the Chitauri? What made you think taking over the Earth was a good idea? Where did you find the Mind Stone? Why are you still here? _ “Tell me something.”

 

“Tell you what?”

 

“Literally anything about you. We’ve lived together for nearly 6 months, and I know almost nothing about you.”  _ Where did you learn so much about metallurgy? Why are you so much better at adapting to technology than Thor could ever hope to be? What was your childhood like, that it left you so angry at the world? Why are you doing what Thor asked? _ “So, tell me something about yourself. Something actually significant.”

 

Whatever Loki had been expecting, it wasn’t this. He was quiet for a long moment, presumably trying to decide what would both fulfill his side of the deal, and also be unlikely to blow up in his face later. “What has Thor already told you?”

 

“Honestly, not that much. That you’re his adoptive brother. You’re too clever for your own good. That you seem to thrive on pranks and mischief but still act surprised when there are consequences to your actions.”

 

He looked amused at that. “Sometimes I misgauge cause and effect,” he admitted. “Has he told you anything about my true parentage?”

 

Tony thought back. “No? I don’t think it’s ever come up.”

 

“And you’ve never asked?”

 

“Would you believe that that hasn’t exactly been priority information for us?”

 

He chuckled. Loki didn’t exactly look at ease--he looked uncomfortable, really--but he was still managing a small smile. “I’m not Asgardian.”

 

Tony blinked. “What?”

 

“I’m from Jötunnheim. A Jötunn.” He hesitated for a second, “A frost giant, specifically.”

 

“Frost giant.” Tony repeated. “You’re kind of small for a giant, aren’t you?” 

 

“It’s a species, idiot. I’m not a “giant” in the way you’re thinking of it.”

 

“Oh.” It wasn’t his fault they used the word differently. “Can I ask a follow-up question?”

 

“I suppose so.”

 

“You said frost giant, right? ‘Cause I’ve seen you do some cool shit with fire.”

 

Loki scoffed. “I can do  _ both _ . I’m a god. And a sorcerer, besides.”

 

Tony knew he might be pushing it with his next question, but he suddenly remembered something else Loki had mentioned. On accident, probably. “Is that what you meant, before? When you said you were always shapeshifting?”

 

His eyes widened and he jerked away. Yeah, he’d definitely shared that detail on accident, then. “Yes.”

 

Definitely was about to push it. “So, what do you actually look--”

 

“No.” Loki cut him off.

 

“No?”

 

“I’m not answering your asinine question.  _ This  _ is what I actually look like. Whatever form I’m taking, whatever form I’ve chosen to take, that is what I  _ actually _ look like.”

 

Loki was pissed. That was fair. Tony had been more than a little insensitive, he supposed. “Sorry. I wasn’t trying to offend you.”

 

Loki looked away from him. “It’s fine.”

 

“I mean, not really. It’s--”

 

“Tony.”

 

Loki had never called him that before. “Yeah?”

 

“Drop it.”

 

Tony nodded. Doing his best to let it go.

 

* * *

 

Tony and Peter were in the lab, watching over the production of the new web fluid. Well, Tony was watching over the production of the new web fluid. Peter was too busy being a show-off to help. Loki had mentioned being interested in how Peter was able to stick to surfaces, and Peter was always happy to demonstrate, since they weren’t actually sure  _ how _ it worked.

 

Right then, Peter had ditched his shoes and was standing on the ceiling of the lab--one of his favorite party tricks. “Ta-da!”

 

Tony watched him wearily. “Peter, that’s dangerous.”

 

Peter ignored him, moving to only “standing” with one foot. “No, no. It’s all good, Mr. Stark. I’ve got this.”

 

“Yeah, you remember you said that after you fall, alright?”

 

Loki’s fascinated expression wasn’t helping anything. “So. You’re stronger, faster… adhesive. Anything else?”

 

“Uuum. I’m also really smart! I mean, I was smart before the spider bite, so I don’t think that has anything to do--”

 

“And he’s so humble.” Tony muttered.

 

“You’re one to talk, Stark.”

 

Tony shrugged, grinning despite himself.

 

“I also have what I’ve been calling my Spider Senses--”

 

“Spidey senses,” Tony corrected.

 

“I don’t call them that.”

 

“Everyone else does, though.”

 

Peter huffed, now only holding to the ceiling by his toes. “Ok, fine. Spidey senses.”

 

“What do those entail?” Loki asked.

 

“Jesus Christ. Peter, if you’re not going to help me, would you at least come back down so I can concentrate on what I’m doing?”

 

Peter slowly let himself drop down via webbing. “Alright, alright. Jeeze. You’re no fun.”

 

“Yep, look at me, Mr. No Fun, not wanting to risk you falling on your head.”

 

Peter hadn’t actually dropped to the ground. He was still hanging onto the web. “I have a great sense of balance. I’m not going to fall on my head.”

 

“Is that just from the spider?”

 

“Partially. I did some acrobatics and dance as a kid, too.”

 

Tony glanced back up. “Really?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“How did I not know that?”

 

Peter shrugged at him. “You never asked.” He watched Peter spin away until he was just facing Loki. “So, spidey senses. They’re like human senses, but...more? Eyesight, hearing, taste, touch, smell. All super amplified.”

 

“All that from a radioactive spider?”

 

Peter nodded. “Yep! It can be kind of a pain in the ass, though. Sometimes it’s kind of overwhelming. Or at least distracting. My suit actually has some dampeners that I can turn on and off--”

 

“No it doesn’t.”

 

Peter cleared his throat. “No, yeah. It definitely does.”

 

Tony sighed. “Peter…”

 

“I mean. It does now. After Ned and I--”

 

“Damn it, Peter.” Tony pushed aside the web fluid. “Do you have it with you?”

 

“No.” Peter didn’t look at him. He caved after a few seconds. “Ok, yeah, of course I do. Why did you even ask?”

 

Tony held out his hand. “I was giving you a chance to tell the truth. Gimme.” Peter handed it over after retrieving it from his backpack. Tony swore quietly as he hooked the suit up to one of the computers. “Why didn’t you just tell me you needed something like this?”

 

“I didn’t want to bother you with it.”

 

“Bother? This wouldn’t have been a  _ bother _ , Peter.” Tony glared at the monitor as readings popped up. “JARVIS, don’t you and Karen talk?”

 

“Not technically, sir.”

 

“Don’t get smart with me. You know what I mean.”

 

“I do, sir.” The AI acknowledged.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

 

“Mr. Parker’s adjustments to the suit were working adequately.”

 

Tony groaned. “Ok, new rule. Actually, old rule, but it’s getting reinforced. Don’t just go making  _ adjustments _ to the suit without telling me. And JARVIS, if he  _ does _ , you need to tell me about it.”

 

Loki was giving him a strange look. “If you knew that Peter had enhanced senses, isn’t this the sort of thing you should have thought of?”

 

It was, Tony knew. He  _ should _ have thought about something like that. Or at least he should have caught on that Peter had made a change like that. “Peter, tell Loki about your magic thing.”

 

“It’s not magic, Mr. Stark.” Tony glanced up at him. “Ok, fine, it might be magic.”

 

That had Loki’s attention back. “What is it?”

 

“I have this like… sixth sense. For danger.”

 

“Danger?”

 

“Mmhmm. I mean, it’s usually just really close-range stuff, and just focused on  _ me _ being in danger. But once in a while I can tell when someone else is in danger and act accordingly.”

 

“Other people? Like strangers?”

 

Peter shook his head. “Not usually. People I know, people I care about, mostly. If it’s really bad, or there are a lot of people in danger, sometimes I’ll pick up on that, though.”

 

“Which is why he snuck out of school the other day and ran into a burning building. Without calling any of us.”

 

“I couldn’t just sit in class! You don’t know-- I can’t just sit by when someone needs my help and I can  _ do something _ about it.” Tony was taken aback, hadn’t expected Peter’s frustration at his comment.

 

He was doing a great job offending people lately. “Yeah. I...I know, Pete. I get it, I do.” He held his hands up placatingly. “And after I was done being scared shitless by your reckless lack of self-preservation, I was really proud of you.” He paused. “Am really proud of you,” he corrected.

 

“Oh.” Peter coughed. “Thanks.”

 

* * *

 

**Peter**

 

Peter was dead asleep before being suddenly woken up by an overpowering sensation of  _ dread _ and  _ pain _ . But he wasn’t the one hurting. He jumped up and poked his head into the living room. He could hear May sleeping soundly in her room. She was alright. But someone wasn’t. Danger? No. He didn’t get any sense of danger. Pain, yes, danger, no. Did that mean the danger had passed? But if someone was hurt badly enough for him to get a sense of it…

 

He suited up and was out the window as fast as he could manage it. He wasn’t used to using the spidey sense as a tracking device, so the going was much slower than he wanted it to be. He smelled it before he saw anything. Blood. A lot of it. He dropped down into the alley, his guard up for whoever had caused this. He found a man--probably a man--who had been shot point-blank in the back of the head. His gray matter was splattered across the wall. 

 

Somehow that wasn’t the source of most of the blood. He followed the trail--it was definitely a trail--away from the dead man. He told Karen to call 911 with the location as soon as he’d gotten away from the area. 

 

“Holy shit! Deadpool!” Peter had turned the corner and found Deadpool leaning against the building, his right leg  _ gone _ from beneath the knee. He dropped to his knees beside him and fashioned a tourniquet from his webbing.

 

Deadpool stirred at the movement. “Oh, hey Webs. I’m ok, I’m ok.”

 

“NO YOU FUCKING ARE NOT!”

 

Deadpool laughed weakly. “Sorry for killing that guy. I really tried not to.”

 

“Jesus.” Peter shook his head. “What happened? No. Nevermind, not important right now. We need to get you to a hospital.”

 

Deadpool was shaking his head. “No, it’s fine. I’m good. Go do your thing. Patrol. Or go home. Whatever. I’ll be fine.”

 

“Except that you’re MISSING A LEG?!” Peter really didn’t mean to shout.

 

“It’ll grow back.”

 

Peter stared, trying to gauge if Deadpool was joking or not. “You’re not a lizard, DP.”

 

Deadpool snorted. “No. Nope. I’m sure not.” He made an effort to stand up. Managed far more than Peter would have expected before he started leaning heavily to the side and Peter had to catch him. Was he just planning on hopping home? “Ok, no. Maybe I’m not fine. Any chance you could help me to my apartment?”

 

“I’ll help you to a hospital. You’ve lost so much blood, how are you even still talking?”

 

“I really don’t need a hospital.” Deadpool said slowly. “Look,” he gestured to his leg. The bleeding has stopped and everything. Even if you hadn’t found me, I wasn’t going to die.”

 

“You’re delirious.”

 

“Maybe. But I also have a crazy awesome healing power. I’m pretty sure I can’t die.”

 

Peter knew this wasn’t the issue and hand, but couldn’t stop himself. “Can’t?”

 

“Haven’t managed to off myself so far.”

 

Peter sighed. “We’re going to unpack that later,” he promised. “Right now, I’m getting you out of the alley. You’re gonna wind up septic if you stay here.” He picked Deadpool up in a bridal carry.

 

Deadpool was uncharacteristically quiet as Peter carried him home, mostly only speaking to give directions.

 

“Did you know that sometimes when I’m running around, patrolling, that some people mistake me for Spider-Man?” Deadpool asked, his head against Peter’s shoulder.

 

“Yeah? Do you correct them?”

 

Deadpool shook his head. “No. It feels nice to be liked.” 

 

Peter’s chest hurt. He couldn’t forget that Deadpool was a murderer--had seen the evidence just minutes before--but still. It was nice to be liked. “I bet people would like you, too. Once they got to know you.”  _ If you would quit killing people _ , he didn’t add.

 

Deadpool managed a short laugh. “Doubt it, Webs. I doubt it.”

 

Deadpool’s apartment was a rather cramped space, even for just one person. It wasn’t what Peter would call clean, but it looked like maybe something of an effort had been made recently to tidy up. He gently set him down on his couch before looking around for the bathroom. If Deadpool wouldn’t let him take him to the hospital, he would just do something to clean up the wound himself.

 

The bathroom, in sharp contrast to the rest of the apartment, was practically immaculate. Maybe Deadpool had started his cleaning in there? He also, apparently, didn’t believe in things like bandages or alcohol wipes, or  _ any _ form of first aid, so far as Peter could tell. The closest he found to anything useful was a pack of SpongeBob band-aids. 

 

Peter did find some towels, and he ran a few under the faucet to get them wet. Better than nothing. Deadpool seemed more awake when he returned to the living room, towels in hand.

 

“That’s really not necessary.” Deadpool told him as Peter worked on wiping away the worse of the blood.

 

“Of course it is.” Peter scolded. He started at what  _ should _ have been a bloody stump, but wasn’t. After the blood was wiped away, it looked almost like a healed amputation. Except… “Deadpool, what am I looking at here?”

 

Deadpool shifted his leg to get a look at what Peter couldn’t identify. “See, told you. It’s growing back.”

 

Peter barely made it back to the bathroom or pulled his mask off before he was vomiting. 

 

“If that bothers you,” he heard Deadpool call to him, “you probably don’t want to stay for the next bit.”

 

Peter was afraid to ask. “What’s the next bit?”

 

He was met with a loud crunching sound. “That’s what it sounds like when bones grow  _ really _ fast!”

 

Deadpool had been right. He  _ hadn’t _ wanted to stay around for that bit.


	7. October

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter after this, holy crap!
> 
> With any luck, it'll be up tomorrow. Everyone cross your fingers for me. <3

_Oh, give me a reason_

_So we can devolve_

_Oh, keep me from falling down_

_So we can resolve_

_Oh, give me a reason_

_So we can devolve_

_Oh, give me a reason I can't deny_

\--Seether _, Turn Around_

  
  


Their latest mission had required precision. And after a bit of arguing that involved Steve saying that Tony’s form of precision was closer to trying to thread a needle with a tank, Natasha got fed up and called Clint. Tony didn’t get to hear the conversation but apparently Clint had just been waiting for them to call. Which was bullshit, but they needed his help, so Tony wasn’t going to argue with that.

 

Honestly, he should have predicted the ensuing shitshow that waited for him back at The Tower. Loki and Bucky--who was a bit annoyed that Steve had shot down his offer of helping (“Because you need a _sniper_ , Steve! That’s me!)--had taken to cooking when the rest of them were off fighting the good fight. (“We like to be useful, _Steve_.” Bucky had insisted.) He wasn’t sure what to make of that unlikely friendship, but it was probably good for both of them.

 

So, Tony didn’t give a second thought to the scene he was walking into with Clint and Natasha until Clint froze at the doorway. Bucky’s, “Hey, Clint! Good to have you back!” fell on deaf ears. He slowly looked around the room.

 

“What the fuck? Why is everyone just ok with this?” Clint’s glare had settled on Loki.

 

“It’s been 6 months, Clint. We kind of just got used to it.” Natasha offered.

 

“Used to it? I knew he was still here, but he’s just… walking around? Why isn’t he locked up?”

 

Tony tried not to laugh. He really did. “Mostly because that didn’t work,” he admitted.

 

Clint rounded on him. “And you!”

 

“Ooh, and me? Yes, dear?” He hadn’t expected Clint to take a swing at him. It was only the element of surprise that allowed Clint’s punch to connect with the side of his head. “What the hell? Punching? We’re punching each other now?”

 

Natasha took a step between them. “Clint. Back off.”

 

Tony thought for a moment that Clint might actually go after Natasha, next. But no, of course not. He wasn’t actually stupid. Just angry. “No, fuck that. He’s putting all of us in danger so he can get laid.”

 

Loki, Tony noted, had stayed silent from his position in the kitchen. But he was watching the proceedings carefully. He looked tense, and something about his position reminded Tony of an animal that had been backed into a corner, ready to lash out. Tony hadn't realized how much he had been taking their “new normal” for granted. Everyone else had had several months to get used to the idea of Loki being around. Clint hadn't.

 

“We try to make people food, and this is the thanks we get.” Bucky joked.

 

“Yeah. I guess we can’t please everyone.” Loki’s light tone of voice didn’t match the look in his eyes.

 

“How dare you even _start_.” Clint was actually addressing Loki now.

 

“Barton, you don’t want to fight me.”

 

“Is that a threat?” Clint took a few steps forward.

 

“I’d rather it didn’t have to be.”

 

“Clint, please don’t do this.” Tony asked quietly.

 

Loki wasn’t the only one looking a bit like a cornered animal. “So it’s true, then? You’re picking him over us?”

 

“I’m not _picking_ anyone. You’re being an asshole.”

 

Clint looked towards Natasha. “Nat? Back me up here?”

 

Natasha just shrugged. “This isn’t a “pick sides” situation, Clint. Loki has done nothing but behave since he got here. You think I’d let it slide if he was starting shit?”

 

Steve and Bruce arrived, looking around at the group. “Wow, you could cut the tension with a knife.” Bruce said.

 

“Even you two?” Clint looked exasperated.

 

Steve took a few steps into the room proper. “Even us two...what?”

 

“He’s pissed about Loki.” Bucky provided.

 

“Oh, yeah.” Steve looked thoughtful.

 

“Oh yeah?!” Tony wondered if Clint might punch Steve too. It would almost be worth it.

 

Bruce, ever the mediator, spoke up. “Clint, I understand how you’re feeling. Why don’t we just--”

 

“No. NO! I am not just going to stand by and watch as my friends are taken in by this charade.” He turned back towards Loki, not that he’d ever had his back to him, “I still know what you are.”

 

“Do you?” Loki stepped out from behind the counter. “What am I, Barton?”

 

In lieu of an answer, Clint pulled his bow and an arrow from his back.

 

Loki was grinning, and Tony understood. He’d been _waiting_. “Really? Are you sure that’s how you want this to play out?”

 

It wasn’t how Tony wanted things to play out. “Clint, put down the fucking bow. Loki--just _don’t_. Don’t start shit.”

 

“I’m not starting anything, Stark. But I’ll finish it.”

 

Natasha placed her hand firmly on Clint’s shoulder. “Don’t do this.”

 

“Why shouldn’t I?”

 

“Because they don’t want to have to fight me.” Loki explained.

 

Clint lowered his arrow a fraction of an inch. “What?”

 

“Everyone in this room knows what will happen if you fire at me. I’ll fight back. And they’re not going to let me hurt you.”

 

Clint glanced over at Tony. “What about you?”

 

Tony vividly remembered how shooting Loki at point-blank range hadn’t even phased the god. “Yeah, I really don’t want to have to fight him.”

 

“I meant--”

 

“I know what you meant. If I have to get my ass kicked by a god because you got trigger happy, I’ll be all kinds of pissed off at you, Clint.”

 

Clint finally unknocked his arrow. After another glance between Loki and Tony, he even sheathed it and his bow. “If you try anything, Loki--”

 

“Unlike you,” Loki cut him off, “I haven’t forgotten the situation. Regardless of living here, I’m still public enemy number one. Don’t think for a moment that I don’t _know_ that if it came down to it, The Avengers would do their best to put me down.”

 

“Yeah, there are a lot more of us this time, too. I bet we’d even win.” Bucky smirked.

 

“Bucky, we won last time.” Steve said.

 

“No. Hulk won last time. The rest of you were an inconvenience, at best.” Loki returned to the kitchen.

 

Clint just blinked. “Wait… I don’t understand.”

 

“That’s what happens when you leave.” Natasha was smiling. “You miss out on shit like this.”

 

“Are we making jokes about him trying to kill us?”

 

Tony shrugged. “Gallows humor. It happens.”

 

“... That’s not. I…”

 

“Also,” Bruce added, “he’s terrified of Hulk. Code green. Situation handled. Easy.”

 

Tony laughed and turned to go find out what Loki and Bucky were making, when Clint grabbed him by the arm. “Tony, wait.”

 

“What?”

 

“You’d defend me against Loki?”

 

Tony gave him a puzzled look. “Of course.”

 

“But aren’t you two…”

 

Tony shrugged. “Yeah. But are you seriously questioning this? We’re teammates. It’s what we do.”

 

“Even if I started it?”

 

“I mean, assuming we survived, I’d kick your ass later. But yeah.” He turned and spoke softly, “He’s not going to throw the first punch, Clint. Just don’t give him a reason to throw the second.”

 

“Barton, what do you eat?” Loki interrupted their conversation.

 

“What?” Clint looked startled by the question.

 

“Do you have any preferences or dietary restrictions we should know about?”

 

“Er, no. I’m not picky.” Clint took a moment to come back to himself. “Are you cooking?”

 

Bucky grinned. “Yep! Between the two of us, we can make just about anything.”

 

It was a strange sort of truce, Tony knew. And not one that he’d put much faith in. But it allowed the rest of the evening to go by without incident, so he took it.

 

* * *

 

“Thank you.” Tony said as he settled in to watch Loki play the video game that Peter had suggested.

 

“For what?”

 

“Not murdering Clint.”

 

Loki shrugged. “He wasn’t going to shoot me.”

 

Tony gave him a disbelieving look. “No, yeah. He totally was. He was out for blood.”

 

Loki just shook his head. “If you say so.”

 

“You sure were confident--”

 

“I’m always confident.”

 

“Let me finish,” Tony complained. “You were confident that I’d fight you.”

 

“Because you would.”

 

Tony was less certain about that. “Eh.”

 

Loki set the controller down and turned to face him. “Stark, if you thought for a moment that I posed a threat, you’d put a stop to it.”

 

“You always pose a threat, don’t you?”

 

“An immediate threat, then.”

 

“I mean, yeah. Of course. But if Clint started it…” He paused, an actual question forming. “What would you have done? If he’d shot you?”

 

“Hurt him.”

 

“Would you have killed him?”

 

Loki took the time to consider it. “Not intentionally. Unless he tried again.”

 

“Oh. That’s good, then.”

 

“How is that good?”

 

“It’s kind of hard to be mad at you for reacted in self defense.” Loki was quiet long enough that Tony looked back over at him. “What?”

 

“If he’d shot me, my reaction wouldn’t have been “self defense”.”

 

“Oh. That’s less good.” Tony shifted until he was leaning against Loki’s shoulder. “But I appreciate the honesty.”

 

* * *

 

Tony was staring at a monitor, pouring over the feed he’d gotten from Peter’s suit. He was aware that dragging his work into his bedroom was probably not the best idea he’d ever had, but that hadn’t stopped him yet. He glanced back at Loki who was doing something with his phone. Reading, from the looks of it.

 

“You know you can sleep in here, right?” Tony offered.

 

“I do sleep in here.” Loki glanced up at him.

 

“Do you?”

 

A pause. “Sometimes.”

 

“Do you know that I’m fine with you sleeping in here, even if I’m not?”

 

Loki set the phone down, giving Tony a questioning look.

 

“I mean. You don’t have to. But most of your stuff has kind of migrated in here anyway. So if you just want to move in here properly, that’s fine.” Loki didn’t reply. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make it weird.”

 

He shook his head. “You didn’t. It’s just…”

 

Tony waited patiently for Loki to collect his thoughts.

 

Finally, “Stark, have you ever seen me sleep?”

 

“I know that you sleep, Loki.”

 

“Of course I do. But have you ever _seen_ it?”

 

“What? Yes.” Except when Tony thought about, aside from the recordings that he’d long since abandoned looking at, he hadn’t actually seen Loki asleep. Definitely never with him in the same room. “Huh. You can just say, “no”, if you want.”

 

“I could. But I don’t want to.”

 

“You don’t want to just say no? You don’t need to spare my feelings, Loki.”

 

Loki looked annoyed, a feeling Tony was apparently quite good at drawing out of him. “I’m not. Stop being difficult.”

 

“I’m the one being difficult?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Fine. I’ll just sit here quietly until you figure out what you want to say.” Tony turned back to the screens in front of him.

 

Loki took his time figuring out how he wanted to phrase things. Long enough that Tony had figured that he wasn’t actually going to say anything. “The idea of me being here. Asleep. While you’re still awake.” Tony resisted the urge to prompt Loki to continue. It wasn’t like he was great at sharing at the best of times. “It’s difficult.”

 

“It is?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Tony looked back at him. “You don’t trust me?”

 

“It’s not you, specifically. Just… in general.”

 

Tony spun his chair around, so he could look at Loki properly. “Well, it’s not like anyone else is going to be moving up here. Stay in here when you want to, and if you need time to yourself or whatever, the other room won’t go anywhere.”

 

“And that’s alright?”

 

He couldn’t help but laugh. “Loki, speaking as the king of neurosis, you feeling vulnerable while you’re sleeping is like, way down on the list of things that wouldn’t be alright.”

 

“I--” Loki looked like he might want to argue, but thought better of it. “Thank you,” he said softly instead.

 

Tony grinned, striding across the room and dropping onto the bed without a second thought. He knew Loki didn’t like admitting to any vulnerability, that he’d deny it at almost any chance, but that didn’t mean it didn’t happen. And it didn’t mean Tony never got a glimpse of it.

 

Loki could be vulnerable in the way he let Tony undress them, pressing kisses at the exposed skin. Peppering them across his neck, shoulders, arms, chest. In the way that he pressed their bodies together in unhurried movements amongst their kissing. He could see it when Loki let him take his time stretching him open before filling him. Allowed him to be slow and gentle, and how they could just enjoy the act of being together, rather than rushing towards their inevitable completion. They could let the rest of the world fall away in moments like that. Could let themselves pretend that nothing else mattered.

 

* * *

  


**Peter**

 

Peter hadn’t seen Deadpool out and about for over a week. He didn’t know how long it took for a leg to re-grow. Maybe it took a while? A week? A month? When he’d broken his leg as a kid, it had taken the better part of two months before he could even think about putting weight on it again.

 

That was why he found himself dropping down to Deadpool’s apartment on Sunday night. All of the lights were off, and the place looked somewhat abandoned, as well as he could see through the windows.

 

He knocked on the door. Waited. Knocked again. “DP? You ok?” He called through the door. There was still no response. Even with his super hearing he couldn’t catch any signs of movement on the other side of the door. “Ok, I’m coming in! Don’t shoot me!”

 

He moved to what he was pretty sure was the bathroom window and checked it. He noted to mention to Deadpool that locking his windows was a good idea, even for crime-fighting vigilantes. Peter carefully moved from the bathroom into the living space, noting that the room was considerably cleaner than the last time he’d been there. If it weren’t for the recognizable furniture, he’d really think that the place had been abandoned.

 

He sat still, listening intently. He finally caught the sound of slow steady breathing coming from what was probably the bedroom. He _hoped_ it was Deadpool on the other side of the door as he slowly made his way over.

 

Right before opening the door, Peter was hit with the urge to drop to the ground. He followed that urge without second-guessing it, and only screamed a little at the gunshot that rang out as soon as he hit the floor. “I SAID DON’T SHOOT ME!” He yelled.

 

There was a falter in the breathing from the other room. “Spider-Man?”

 

Peter was up into a crouch and webbing the gun away from Deadpool in the next moment. He wasn’t going to risk getting shot at _twice_. The bedroom was dark. He was sure that if it wasn’t for his enhanced senses, he’d never have caught sight of Deadpool’s face. A mix of startled and angry. But Peter barely had time to take in the actual expression--he was too busy taking in Deadpool’s skin. He looked… He didn’t know how to describe it. He was covered in deep heavy scarring that looked to cover his chest and arms, as well as his head. “Are you alright, Deadpool?”

 

Deadpool dove off the side of the bed, away from Peter. “Fine!” He called back.

 

Peter swallowed. He was fine? “Did, um. Did your leg grow back?”

 

“Yep.” The other man squeaked.

 

“Are...are you hiding?”

 

There was a pause before Deadpool answered. “A little bit.”

 

Peter rose to his feet. “Why?”

 

“I don’t want you to see me.”

 

He shifted uncomfortably and picked at his suit. He knew honesty was the best policy and all that, but… “Uh. I already did. See your face, I mean. Sorry. Look, I don’t care who you are. I’m not going to go blabbing your identity to anyone.”

 

A very quiet, “You saw?”

 

“Yeah. That’s...um.” He coughed. “That’s actually why I asked if you were alright.”

 

He blushed, grateful for his mask. Not that Deadpool was looking his direction anyway. “It’s dark in here.”

 

“Yeah. I have really good night vision,” he explained.

 

“Are you a mutant?”

 

Peter hadn’t expected that question. It was a reasonable guess, though. “No. Are you?”

 

“No. Yes. Sort of.” How could someone _sort of_ be a mutant?

 

“Do you want me to leave?”

 

He heard Deadpool take in a deep breath. “No, not really. Just...give me a minute?”

 

“Sure. I’ll be in the living room.” Peter turned and sat down on the couch, noting that whatever blood had gotten on it when he’d helped Deadpool get home had been cleaned up. He’d have to ask what Deadpool had used. He expected Deadpool to come out in his usual red suit, but he didn’t. He was wearing jeans and a hoodie, with his hands shoved into the front pocket. He was covering as much skin as he could manage without a mask on.

 

“You don’t have to--”

 

“You already saw me, right?” Deadpool shrugged. “It’s not exactly hard to pick me out of a lineup.”

 

Peter reached for the back of his mask, “Well, then I’ll--”

 

“Don’t.”

 

Peter stilled his hands, glancing up at Deadpool.

 

“You’re Spider-Man. That’s all I need to know.” He sat down next to Peter.

 

He let his arms drop. “Are you sure you’re ok? I hadn’t seen you since you lost your leg. I was...worried.”

 

“Yeah, I’m alright.” He extended his right leg. “See. Leg’s back. Good as. Well, not new. But good.” He wiggled it, demonstrated that it still had all of its usual mobility. “I’ve just been busy.”

 

Peter was relieved to see that Deadpool was back to being whole. “Oh. I’m sorry for bothering you.”

 

Deadpool smiled at him. The effect was strange. It wasn’t like the scarring vanished, but it was harder to notice past the way his blue eyes lit up. “You’re fine, Webs. Thank you for worrying about me.”

 

Peter smiled back, even though Deadpool couldn’t see it.

 

“Alright, ask your questions.”

 

Peter blinked. “What?”

 

“I know you have them.”

 

Peter shook his head. “No. And even if I did, they’re none of my business.”

 

Deadpool laughed at that. “Fine, then I have a question. What are you, if you’re not a mutant? Or are you like Stark? Regular guy in a fancy suit.”

 

Peter huffed, “Mr. Stark isn’t just a regular guy. He _built_ those suits.” He crossed his arms. “And no. It’s not just the suit. Some of it is. The webs are the suit.”

 

“And the rest?” He looked curious.

 

“Me. The suit helps, but I don’t _need_ it for most of the stuff I do.”

 

Deadpool let out a thoughtful hum. “So? How’d that happen?”

 

“I got bit by a spider.” He was never going to get tired of giving that non-explanation.

 

“What?”

 

“A radioactive spider,” he explained. “It was a few years ago. My class went to Oscorp on a field trip. They had some sort of crazy experiments going on.”

 

Deadpool was quiet. Processing, Peter guessed. “Did it hurt?”

 

“The spider bite?”

 

“Any of it.”

 

“Yeah.” It had, too. The bite, of course. But so had the rest. He’d stayed in bed for two days, fairly certain he was _dying_ . Everything hurt. Everything was too loud, too bright, too _everything_. He hadn’t cried like that since he was a child. May and Ben had been worried sick until Peter had gotten it under control and managed to get himself to quit screaming as each new pain racked his body. Deadpool didn’t need to know all of that, though.

 

“Your backstory sounds more interesting than mine.”

 

“You don’t have to share.”

 

“But you’re curious?”

 

Peter shifted. “Of course. It’s hard not to be.”

 

It was weird to see someone grinning as they told him, “I have cancer.”

 

“Shit.”

 

“Shit, indeed. I got roped in with some shady motherfuckers working on the Weapon X program. So now my cancer can’t kill me. And neither can anything else.”

 

“Is that your superpower?” Peter asked. “You just heal really well?”

 

“Basically. It’s pretty useful.”

 

Peter thought it really just made Deadpool more reckless. “Do things at least not hurt as bad?”

 

“Nope. Everything still hurts the same.”

 

“And the cancer?”

 

“Still there. Just isn’t going to kill me.”

 

“That sounds like an awful deal.”

 

“You’re tellin’ me. I should sue.”

 

Peter hadn’t expected to laugh nearly as hard as he did. “So, you’re sort of a mutant?” He asked once he’d gotten the laughter under control.

 

“Yep. Not born one. I think I am one, now, though. Sort of.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“That’s also what happened to my skin.”

 

“Weapon X?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Peter shifted, fingers scratching over the raised lines in his suit. “Am I gonna see you back on patrols and stuff?”

 

Deadpool nodded. “I was planning to get back out there tomorrow.”

 

“Cool. Good. It’s been kind of lonely patrolling without you, DP.”

 

“Wade.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“My name. Wade Wilson--Don’t tell me your name. I know you were about to.”

 

Peter shut his mouth. Wade was good at predicting him. “But?”

 

Wade shook his head. “No. I told you. You’re Spider-Man. That’s enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And then The Avengers had a very awkward Thanksgiving-in-October Dinner.
> 
> Also, it never comes up, but Loki is playing Portal. That's not important to the narrative, just a fun detail that didn't make it in.
> 
> The MCU didn't really provide us with any details about Peter's transformation into Spider-Man, so I'm taking some liberties. :)
> 
> And don't worry. Chapter 8 **will** have explicit content again. Huzzah.
> 
> Oh, and if people's interactions and stuff seem kind of off based on their characterization and such in chronologically later parts...yeah, I'm aware. I'm gonna fix it. Promise. <3


	8. November

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap I did it!
> 
> And I lied the last chapter. No explicit sex. OTL Sorry!
> 
> But I figured everyone would prefer me to write a scene I actually WANTED to write, rather than just try to force myself. And if I was wrong...well. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

_ Oh, give me a reason _

_ So we can devolve _

_ Oh, keep me from falling down _

_ So we can resolve _

_ Oh, give me a reason _

_ So we can devolve _

_ Oh, give me a reason I can't deny _

_ \-- _ Seether _ , Turn Around _

  
  


**Tony**

 

Tony was never going to tempt the powers that be again. Ever. As soon as he’d decided that their lives couldn’t get any weirder, he was proven wrong time and time again. This time he was proven wrong in the form a giant fucking rooster that Thor had lead to New York. At least this thing seemed to care when he shot it. 

 

They were on the outskirts of the city, giving it their best shot. He’d have to have a long talk with Thor about why bringing a giant chicken to one of the most populated areas in the country was a terrible idea. It’s massive wings were creating wind gusts that could level buildings. It had leveled a few, before they’d been able to get it to chase them away.

 

Thor’s lightning seemed to be doing the most damage. Earlier Clint had managed to hit one of its eyes with an arrow, but now that they were out of the city, his abilities had been rendered nearly useless. He was trying to shoot at its legs, but that mostly seemed to just be pissing it off.

 

“I have an idea!” He heard Peter say through the comms.

 

“What’s the idea, Spider-Man?” Steve asked.

 

“Taser-webs!” The rooster screeched as it was shocked.

 

“That is so cool!” Someone--probably Peter--had given Deadpool a comm device. 

 

“Thor, can you aim for it’s other eye?” Natasha asked.

 

“I’ll do my best!” 

 

Tony would forever deny screaming when StormBreaker (followed by Thor) shot past him and into the face of the now-blind Rooster.

 

“I’m gonna climb it! Hawkeye, jump on!”

 

“Spider-Man! NO!” Steve yelled into the comms. It was too late, Peter, with Clint on his back, and already begun scaling the giant bird.

 

“No!” Tony echoed. “Do you even have a plan?”

 

“You might not have noticed, but Tony, we’re not all that useful from the ground.” Clint said slowly, as if explaining the concept to a small child. 

 

“Then be useless but safe!” He was pretty sure he could see Clint making rude gestures in his general direction.

 

Clint jumped from Peter’s back once they got to the bird’s head. “One of you is going to fall and die. And it’ll probably be you, Clint.” Natasha didn’t sound any more amused than Tony felt.

 

“If he falls, I’ll catch him.” Peter said, as if that would make any of them feel better.

 

Tony wasn’t sure what Peter had been planning to  _ do _ . He was reasonably sure that when Peter thought it was a good idea to swing in front of the bird’s face, he hadn’t been expecting it to open its mouth and fire a beam of  _ something _ at him.

 

“The fuck was that?!” Tony wasn’t sure who said it. He only saw Peter hurtling through the air, back towards the city.

 

“I’ve got him!” Deadpool was running the direction Peter had been flung off in. “Stay here, Stark! You fight Rodan here, I’ll go find Spidey!”

 

Tony didn’t have to like it, but he didn’t have much choice when the creature started taking several blind steps. He and Thor were their best bets and actually killing it.

  
  


**Peter**

 

Peter wasn’t sure where he was. He couldn’t see. Couldn’t keep his eyes open. Everything was too bright. Too loud. “Karen?”

 

“I’ve turned your dampeners on, Peter.”

 

He wasn’t sure how he stayed conscious. Her voice in his ears sounded more like an explosion. He curled in on himself. Everything was too tight. The ground (was it the ground?) beneath him, the suit, his skin. He scratched as his skin but  _ hell _ that hurt. Everything hurt. 

 

He stopped being able to parse out individual sounds. It was just all noise, bearing down on him. Even his sense of taste was overwhelming him, which was made all the worse as bile threatened to rise in his throat. He was going to die like this. Hopefully in the next few minutes.

 

He thought maybe he heard a new sound. Couldn’t tell what it was. It was just another rhythmic beat added to the cacophony around him. Maybe he would at least go deaf soon? That might make this more bearable.  _ Please let me go deaf soon _ .  _ Please let me just die _ .

 

He felt something hitting his shoulder. He might have whined, he couldn’t tell for sure. When it became more localized he did his best to force his eyes open. Needed to see what was attacking him. There was a brief blur of red before all Peter could see what bright white. A light in his eyes, maybe? 

 

He curled in harder. The something hitting his shoulder returned. Wouldn’t leave. He finally opened his eyes again. More red. No bright light followed. But there was something in front of his face. Still bright. Couldn’t focus on it. Closed his eyes again.

 

Finally passed out.

  
  


**Tony**

 

It took another hour before they finally managed to take the rooster down. It had been the combined strengths of Thor’s lightning and his own Unibeam that did it. It would probably be a year until he could stomach the thought of eating chicken again after the smell of that had hit him.

 

“You can’t just kite shit like that to us, Thor.” He was bitching. That was fine. 

 

“I am sorry. I knew that I was no match for the beast on my own.”

 

“So call us, in the future.” At least Natasha was also in a bitchy mood.

 

“It was kind of cool, though. Giant rooster and all?” Clint mused from the chair he’d curled up on. 

 

“No, it wasn’t cool.” Steve snapped. “Your bullshit could have gotten someone killed.”

 

Clint looked apologetic. “Yeah. Oh. Tony, why aren’t you mother-henning?”

 

“Deadpool has Peter. He’s bringing him here. Says Peter’s not injured.”

 

“And you haven’t run off to go find them?” Loki asked, turning away from the whispered conversation he’d been having with Thor. 

 

Tony wanted to be out there very badly. In fact, he’d been halfway out the door when Deadpool had checked in. Whatever had hit Peter had knocked out the tracker in his suit. And he didn’t have an easy way of tracking Deadpool. Yet. He was going to fix that at the first opportunity. “I am, unfortunately, going to have to trust Deadpool for the moment.”

 

“Oh boy. I love needing to trust Deadpool.” Clint muttered.

 

“Do you two want to share with the class?” Tony looked over at Loki and Thor again. “What was that thing?”

 

“An alien, to these lands.” Thor explained.

 

“Yeah, I got that much. Is it Asgardian?”

 

“No.” Thor looked offended at the idea.  _ Ok, then.  _

 

Loki was doing his best to appear calm, which did nothing to ease Tony’s nerves. Thor was managing a brave, if slightly frantic, expression. Loki muttered something that Tony couldn’t understand. “Of course we should--” He quickly reached out and grabbed Thor’s arm, and suddenly Tony couldn’t understand either of them.

 

“Woah, hey!” Natasha was on her feet. “What the hell?” 

 

Thor just looked confused. Loki was speaking again. It sounded more like an argument, than anything else. 

 

“Ok, no. We’re not playing this game.” Tony shoved himself between the gods, something that only worked because Thor took a step back to accommodate him. “What the hell aren’t you telling us?”

 

Tony heard the door open, but didn’t look up. “That rooster is the harbinger of--”

 

“Holy shit, is he ok?” Steve’s voice got Tony’s attention.

 

Deadpool had walked into the room, and was making wild shushing motions with one hand, the other cradling a shaking Spider-Man.

 

“What?” Tony started, only for Deadpool to make another “be quiet” motion when Peter flinched from the noise, burying his face against Deadpool’s chest.

 

He carefully laid Peter on the couch. The next motion Tony didn’t recognize, but Clint and Natasha were both holding up their hands. After a moment of watching Deadpool and Clint gesture back and forth, Tony  _ did _ recognize it: sign language. Tony had never wished more than then had he’d taken the time to properly learn more that the alphabet and a handful of useful phrases in ASL. Tony glanced back at Loki, who was watching the conversation with growing concern.

 

“Nat?” Tony asked quietly. She held up a finger--wait.

 

He didn’t like waiting. He didn’t like not knowing why Peter was curled up in a ball and shivering on their couch. He didn’t like that there was a presumably very informative conversation happening in front of him, and he couldn’t understand it. But they’d all gotten the message: shut up and wait.

 

Finally, Natasha motioned for them to follow her across the room, where she spoke on hushed tones. “He’s not injured,” she started, putting the most pressing fear to rest. “Or, not bodily. Deadpool seems pretty confident about that.”

 

Tony nodded.

 

“He’s super sensitive to light, noises...probably pretty much everything, I think.”

 

“Overstimulation?” Tony offered.

 

Natasha was nodding. “That’s our best guess. He might have asked Deadpool to kill him, on the way here.”

 

Peter dying was no longer going to take the top space in the list of Tony Stark’s greatest fears. Peter asking a known assassin to kill him would take that spot for the rest of his life.

 

“Can you do anything to help, Loki?” Thor addressed his brother. Tony’s distress mirrored on his face.

 

“Why would Loki be able to help?” Clint whispered.

 

“I don’t know that I can.” Loki hadn’t taken his eyes off of Peter. “I can try.”

 

“Loki’s sorcery is quite adept at healing wounds,” Thor explained.

 

“Yes, wounds. This isn’t a wound. This is… we don’t know what this is.” Loki said urgently. “I’ll do my best. I don’t know that my best will be enough.”

 

The lights in the room dimmed past the point where Tony could no longer see. He blinked, hoping his eyes would adjust. After a minute they still hadn’t, and the lights rose just a bit with a long sigh from Loki. 

 

“If you’re all just going to stand there, you might as well leave.” Loki muttered.

 

“Like hell.” Tony hissed back. Deadpool actually flipped him off. 

 

Loki had better luck convincing the others to relocate with Thor’s help. They didn’t look happy about being lead from the room, but they didn’t verbally complain.  “Fine, if you two want to stand here in the dark, I won’t force you to leave.” The lights didn’t dim quite as much this time. After a moment Tony was able to make out some vague shapes. He could see Loki kneeling next to the couch. “Can you hear me, Peter?” His voice was barely a whisper.

 

Peter let out a low whine and jerked away from the sound of Loki’s voice.

 

“You’re ok, Peter. It’s Loki. I need you to try to stay calm.”

 

“Loki?” Peter stilled. His breathing was harsh and at an unnatural pitch.

 

“I need to be able to touch you. Can you manage that for a moment?”

 

Peter was shaking again, but reached up and pulled his mask off of his face.

 

Tony glanced over in Deadpool’s direction. Wondered how well  _ he _ could see. He hadn’t even considered the issue of him learning Peter’s identity. He’d have to deal with that later.

 

He could see Peter flinch when Loki pressed his fingers to his forehead. “I’ve got you. You’re going to be alright.” He hesitated for a moment. “Close your eyes and tightly as you can.”

 

Peter must have done as he was asked, judging by the bright flash of green light that Tony hadn’t been prepared for. He  _ just _ managed not to cry out.

 

It sounded like Peter’s breathing had shifted. It wasn’t anything close to normal, but it had come back down to a more natural pitch. 

 

“Good. Keep breathing.” He heard Loki whisper to Peter, before, “what the fuck?” That was the absolute last thing Tony wanted to hear.

 

“No. No what the fuck. What’s wrong?” He asked.

 

“It’s sorcery.”

 

Tony hoped Loki could properly see his exasperated expression. “Ok? I kind of assumed the giant rooster was magical. Why are you shocked by this?”

 

“Can you not do anything?” He heard Deadpool ask.

 

“Ah. No, I can, actually.” There was no flash of light this time--something Tony was grateful for--but instead there was a soft humming noise.

 

“Oh, that’s weird.” He heard Peter say after the humming faded. Tony was pretty sure Peter was sitting up. “Um. Why are we all just sitting in the dark?”

 

“Do you not remember?” Deadpool sounded alarmed.

 

“No, no. I do.” Peter was explaining. “I just...didn’t realize how dark it was, I guess.”

 

Loki shifted and the lights came back on. Not at their usual brightness, but enough that everyone could properly see again. 

 

If Loki had been trying to hide his distressed expression, he’d done an awful job of it. Whatever he’d found, he looked shaken. 

 

**Peter**

 

It felt not unlike suddenly surfacing after being trapped under the waves of the ocean. It was like he could finally breathe again. He was in one of the common rooms of the tower, he couldn’t tell which one. It didn’t really matter. Loki and Tony were in front of him, and someone-- _ fuck _ \--Deadpool was standing behind the couch. They all looked worried, which was fair, Peter thought.

 

He’d been worried too. Well, at first. When he’d been hit by the rooster and flung across the sky. Worried was definitely one of the emotions he had felt. Terror was another strong one. Thankfully Karen had deployed the web wings. Except it had meant he’d been able to survive the fall, and suffer...whatever had happened. He had been fine. Standing up and everything. And then he  _ hadn’t been _ . 

 

It had been like when he was first bitten, except a million times worse. At least before he’d been able to make out more than flashes of color. He hadn’t quite wanted to rip his own skin from his bones. 

 

Just remembering the sensation was enough to sit his skin to itching. He was still sensitive to light and sound, but he’d thought most everything else had calmed down. He’d been wrong. He hit the spider on his chest, releasing the vacuum seal so that he could toss the suit to the side. “Fuck you, Karen!”

 

He returned to his seat on the couch, bringing his knees up to his chest, and tucking himself into a ball. He instantly felt guilty. It wasn’t Karen’s fault. He felt Tony sit down next to him. He didn’t look up.

 

“Peter, are you alright?”

 

He shook his head. He wasn’t alright. He thought it was starting again, except the pain stayed in his chest, keeping him from drawing in enough air. He heard his own wheezing before he felt it.

 

“Peter, can you look at me?” He heard Tony ask. He just shook his head harder. “Can you talk?”

No. Talking was hard. Talking was  _ impossible _ . His chest hurt, and he couldn’t breathe, and holy  _ shit _ he’d asked Deadpool to kill him. Had wanted to die rather than keep suffering. “Do you kind of feel like you’re dying?” He nodded. He could manage that. “Ok, then I have good news. You’re not. You’re having a panic attack.”

 

Not a heart attack, then. Panic attack. He knew about those. Had never had one. Was having one now. Ok. Panic attacks didn’t kill people. Usually.  _ Did they _ ?! The last thing he remembered hearing was a whispered, “Sleep” in his ear.

 

***

 

When Peter woke up again, he was curled up on the couch. Someone had tossed a blanket over him and set some of his clothes on the floor in front of the couch. His chest still hurt, but it was just a dull ache. He looked around. For a moment he thought the room was empty, before his brain caught up and recognized that the still figure in the chair across from him was Deadpool. He brought his hands up to cover his face. He thought he might be ok with a hole opening in the ground and swallowing him up.

 

“Hey, Spidey. You doing better?”

 

“Oh God,” He moaned. Well, there was no getting out of this one. “So much for just being Spider-Man.”

 

Deadpool chuckled at him.  _ Asshole _ . “Do you need a hand getting dressed?”

 

Peter shook his head. “I got it.” He grabbed the t-shirt from the floor and pulled it on before wiggling into the jeans alongside them. When he looked back up, he saw that Deadpool had taken off his mask.

 

He must have seen Peter’s questioning look, because he answered it with, “So that we could be on more even footing.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“I’d take my suit off, but I’m not wearing anything underneath.” Peter managed a soft laugh. Once Deadpool had decided Peter wasn’t going to be forthcoming, he spoke again. “So, your name is Peter, then?”

 

He nodded. “Yep. Peter Parker.”

 

“And you’re a kid.”

 

Peter frowned. “No.”

 

Deadpool gestured to his shirt. “Just that attached to your MidTown High t-shirt?”

 

Peter glanced down. Damn it. “Ok, yeah. I’m still in high school.”

 

“How old are you?”

 

“How old are  _ you _ ?” 

 

Deadpool smirked at him. “Really?”

 

“Shut up. I’m 17.”

 

“I’ll be 27 in...two weeks.”

 

“Two weeks?”

 

“November 22nd.”

 

“Happy Birthday.” Peter let his head fall back onto the couch. “I should buy you a hotdog or something.”

 

Deadpool laughed at that. “I’m sorry for calling you a kid.”

 

“I mean, you’re not entirely wrong.”

 

“Sure I am. And I’d be a hypocrite if I told you to sit all this dangerous shit out. I was doing way crazier stuff at your age.”

 

Peter looked back over. “Were you fighting alien birds?”

 

Deadpool had a nice laugh, Peter decided. Especially when he wasn’t actually laughing  _ at _ Peter. “Ok, that’s fair. I was doing similarly crazy shit, just with way fewer aliens.”

 

Peter couldn’t help but grin. “Where’d Mr. Loki and Mr. Stark go?”

 

“They went to go debrief, I guess.”

 

“Should we be with them?”

 

Deadpool shrugged. “I’m not an Avenger. And you were getting some much needed beauty rest. Pluuus, I don’t think Stark was too happy about Loki just knocking you out like that.”

 

“He knocked me out?”

 

“He did something, at any rate. You were having a panic attack, and then you were out.”

 

Peter blinked. “Oh.” That’s what happened. “Um.” He swallowed. “Did I ask you to kill me?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“Cool. Thanks for...not doing that.”

 

Deadpool rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t about to kill you, Peter.” 

 

Peter wasn’t going to think about the fact that he liked hearing Deadpool say his name. “I just don’t want you thinking that I’m, ya’ know. Suicidal. Normally.”

 

“If it ever comes up again, I’ll be sure to just assume that something is super duper wrong, then.”

 

“Thanks for having my back, DP.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: me going through and updating edited etc my older stuff. Starting w/ The Gift. Oh boy!


	9. November (Part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, chapter 9/8. Because I was lazy and wanted to post chapter 8 before I started my new job, but man, this wasn't really done. OTL
> 
> But now it IS!

“Fjalar.”

 

“Fjalar?” Bruce repeated. At least one of them had picked up on how to pronounce these things. “The bird had a name?”

 

Thor nodded gravely. “He is one of three cockerels who herald the end of days.”

 

“The  _ end of days _ ?” Tony asked, incredulous.

 

“Is there an echo in here?” Loki snapped. 

 

“If you assholes would quit being so damned cryptic--” Clint started.

 

“Enough.” Natasha silenced him, before turning to Thor. “You said it wasn't Asgardian.”

 

“He's not.” Thor confirmed. “Fjalar lives in Gálgviðr--in Jötunheim.” 

 

Steve was pinching the bridge of his nose. “So it  _ was  _ that kind of alien.”

 

“To compare Asgard and Jötunheim is--”

 

“An argument for later!” Bruce cut in. “We can discuss accidental racism another time. What do you mean by, “heralds the end of days?”

 

“Yeah. Are we talking 2012: the calendar ran out of space, type “end of days” or like: meteor hits the earth, extinction event type “end of days”?” Clint asked.

 

“Neither,” Loki offered. “Closer to the second one, though.” 

 

“So, what do we do about it?” Tony asked.

 

“Do? We don’t  _ do _ anything. You lot should make peace with your gods and hope you die fighting honorably.”

 

“So there will be fighting?” Natasha asked.

 

“Loki is getting ahead of himself.” Thor said.

 

“Your complaint is noted.” Loki snarked.

 

“Getting ahead of himself, how?” Steve asked.

 

“Fjalar should never have left Jötunheim.” Thor explained. “He is merely a herald. Meant to crow to alert the Jötnar of the end of Fimbulvinter.” Tony wanted to ask what the hell a Fimbulvinter was, but also didn’t want to interrupt. “He should not have appeared in Midgard. Nor should he have attacked.”

 

“Shouldn’t have been capable of sorcery, either.” Loki added.

 

“Giant magic chicken can’t do magic?” Clint asked.

 

“I didn’t  _ say _ magic, I said--nevermind. No. Not like what happened to Peter.”

 

“What did it do to Peter?” Steve asked.

 

“Broke him.” At the humans’ horrified expressions Loki quickly continued, “He’s fine now! It was hardly irreversible.” Loki crossed his arms, looking over at Thor. “I’ve seen that spell once before.”

 

“You have? When?”

 

Tony didn’t know what memory Loki was visiting. Loki’s expression told him it was something terrible. He opened his mouth twice to reply, struggling to find the words. “Odin broke  _ his mind _ , Thor.”

 

“Father is gone--”

 

“I  _ know that _ . You asked when I saw the spell and that’s when.”

 

“Hi, sorry. Is that supposed to mean something to any of us?” Tony asked.

 

Loki’s eyes were almost pleading. Thor shook his head. “It means something to me. The spell that Fjalar used was an attempt at driving Peter mad.”

 

“Was he the target?” Steve asked.

 

“That is doubtful. I believe I might have been.” Thor looked guilty. “I shouldn’t have brought him here.”

 

“No, you shouldn’t have.” Steve agreed.

 

“Is it possible Fjalar had been driven mad?” Natasha asked.

 

Thor and Loki shared bewildered expressions. “It’s not  _ impossible _ ,” Loki said slowly. “But who would have been powerful enough?”

 

“Mother and Father,” at Loki’s dismissive look, Thor hesitated before answering, “and you.”

 

Loki scoffed at the dubious expressions surrounding him. “Me? How could I have done it? I’ve been  _ here _ .”

 

“You  _ do _ have a tendency to disappear for days at a time,” Tony pointed out.

 

“He has a  _ what _ ?” Clint asked.

 

_ Oops _ . Tony realized belatedly that he hadn’t actually told anyone about that. 

 

Loki glared at him Tony for a moment, “You can’t be serious,” before turning back to Thor. “You know that I would  _ never _ \--”

 

“Except that, yeah. You would.” What little goodwill Loki had managed to build with Clint was quickly vanishing. 

 

“Be still, Barton. I only said that Loki was capable. I do not believe he’s the culprit.” Thor’s reassurances didn’t seem to do much for Clint, although he did take a step back.

 

“Who else is capable?” Natasha asked. “I don’t mean to be insensitive, but if you’re parents are dead, and it’s not Loki, who else is there?”

 

“Plenty of others,” Loki insisted. “I was hardly the only capable sorcerer who knew of Fjalar’s whereabouts.”

 

“There is also the question of how he came to Midgard. I do not believe that Loki could have wandered into Jötunheim undetected. And given that he is not welcome there--”

 

“I-” Loki let out a huff, cutting himself off. Tony knew the feeling. Loki felt that he was perfectly  _ capable _ of causing this, but he didn’t want any more suspicions placed on him. Just because he could do something, didn’t mean he would.

 

“I will speak with Heimdall and the others. We will seek out other likely sorcerers and report back with our findings.” Thor said.

 

“JARVIS,” Steve spoke up. “From now on please inform the rest of us whenever Loki leaves the tower.”

 

“As you wish, Captain Rogers.”

 

“What?” Tony said, indignantly.

 

“Tony, you obviously aren’t going to keep the rest of us in the loop. So we’re going above your head.”

 

“JARVIS isn’t--”

 

“You know what I mean.” Steve’s tone brokered no arguments. Besides, it wasn’t like Tony could think of a good argument anyway.

 

“You trust him.” Tony tried.

 

“No I don’t. None of us do. Except maybe Thor, I don’t know.” Steve glanced at the god.

 

“I was also not aware of my brother’s comings and goings.”

 

“So, yeah, none of us. But we trusted  _ you _ to keep him in line, and let us know if you couldn’t do that.”

 

* * *

 

“You hadn’t told them?” Loki asked, having followed Tony after he stalked out of the room.

 

“Obviously not.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because I wanted to avoid  _ that _ . Them getting all pissy for no reason.”

 

“I believe they’re angry about your complacency, Stark.”

 

Tony glared at him before opening the door to check on Peter and Deadpool. There was a quick flurry of movement as Deadpool hurried to pull his mask back on. So...Peter knew who Deadpool  _ was _ . That was interesting.

 

Peter, for his part, looked like he was feeling much better. Tony was pretty sure he’d heard Peter thanking Deadpool. 

 

“You doing alright, kiddo?”

 

Peter nodded. “Yeah. How’d debriefing go? Anything I should know?”

 

“Probably.” Tony admitted. “I’ll fill you in later, though, alright?” Judging by Peter’s face, no, that wasn’t alright. “It was a lot, and we’re still processing through everything. I’m not trying to just keep you in the dark.”

 

“Give me the short version, then.”

 

“We’re all fucked.” Loki offered.

 

“ _ Loki _ .”

 

The god shrugged. “That  _ is _ the short version.”

 

“Did you guys not beat the chicken?” Deadpool asked.

 

“Yeah, no, we did. He’s definitely dead.” Tony grimaced.

 

“What’s the medium version then?” Deadpool prompted.

 

“Giant chickens, end of days, extinction event, magic bullshit. We’ll figure it out, and we’ll beat it. Like we always do.” Loki snorted at Tony’s explanation. “You aren’t helping.”

 

“I’m not trying to help. I’m trying to get you all to understand that you’re going to  _ die _ .”

 

“You all? What about you, Mr. Loki?”

 

Loki didn’t meet Peter’s gaze. “Probably me, too.” He was frowning. “I may survive it. I suppose Deadpool  _ might _ . None of the rest of you will.”

 

“You and Thor also said that the chicken was behaving strangely. Maybe it’s not here as a sign of the end of the world?”

 

Loki didn’t look convinced. Tony didn’t have enough information. Peter mostly just looked like he’d had an unreasonably bad day that kept getting worse. Which he had, so that was fair. Deadpool, well, Tony never really knew what Deadpool was thinking.   
  


* * *

 

“Sir, I believe I’ve found something that requires your attention.” 

 

Tony slid his chair away from his work bench and towards the monitor JARVIS projected for him. “What’s up?”

 

“Remember the glitches in the camera feed from July?”

 

“Uuuh. Back when all of the cameras turned off at once?”

 

“Correct, Sir.”

 

“Yes, I remember that. What about it? Did it happen again?”

 

“No, Sir. Or, to be more precise: not exactly.”

 

“What does that mean, JARVIS?”

 

“I was going through the video feed for the last 4 months and discovered a pattern. Every three weeks a single camera would go offline for a brief time, rarely more than a second.”

 

“Why am I just now hearing about this?”

 

“As I said, Sir, these were small glitches. And on their own, I wouldn’t have given them another thought.”

 

Tony ran a hand through his hair. “Ok, what’s changed?”

 

“The pattern stopped.”

 

“Wait.  Had you been following this?”

 

“No, Sir. It was something I discovered moments ago.”

 

“When did the pattern stop?”

 

“On the 8th, sir.”

 

Tony blinked, thinking back. “And Fjalar attacked on the 10th?”

 

“Correct.”

 

“Any chance it’s related?”

 

“I cannot say for sure. But the first incident directly preceded another attack.”

 

“The ball guy?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“In these other glitches, is anything moving or disappearing?”

 

“I don’t believe so, no. But I am still analyzing the data in order to be certain.”

 

“Alright, keep at it. Thanks, JARVIS.”

 

“It’s my pleasure, Sir.”

 

Tony knew that two things needed to happen. One: he was going to have to take a trip to the warehouse himself. Two: he was going to have to try to drag more information out of Loki.   
  


* * *

 

“So, that guy you killed,” Tony started.

 

“You notice how you’re able to say that in the singular, and with so much confidence that we’re both going to know what you’re talking about? Please keep that in mind the next time you want to accuse me of using my sorcery to--”

 

“I’ve already apologized for that. And this is more important. Possibly. It’s also important.”

 

Loki just sighed. “Very well, the man I killed? What about him?”

 

“Was the machine magical?”

 

“What do you think?”

 

“I think it was.”

 

“Then why are you asking me?”

 

“Because I don’t know shit about magic, and Strange wasn’t any help.”

 

“So I’m your last resort for information?”

 

“You’re my second resort for information,” Tony corrected. “My pool just happens to only be the two of you in this case. Besides, it’s not like you would have told me anything back then anyway.”

 

“I’m still offended.”

 

“That’s fine. Be offended. What kind of magic was it?” When Loki didn’t answer, in fact he even looked away, Tony continued, “And how similar was the magic to what we saw with the rooster?” He waited. He was  _ going _ to get this information, one way or another.

 

“Obviously it wasn’t the same spell.”

 

“But?”

 

“I believe the sorcerer was Asgardian.”

 

Tony let out a long breath. “Is it the same person?”

 

“ _ Before _ … Before, I would have said it was unlikely. The two branches of sorcery are so wildly different, I wouldn’t expect one person to have such a strong grasp of both.”

 

“But now?”

 

“I don’t know. With so many Asgardians gone, the number of sorcerers is barely a fraction of what it once was. Whoever affected Fjalar  _ could _ have also created the machine.” He looked troubled.

 

“What’s wrong? Besides the obvious.”

 

“Anyone capable of casting that spell on Fjalar could create the machine. I think the more important question is: who else knew about that spell.”

 

“And?” But Loki just shook his head. Loki’s distress was practically palpable, so Tony tried a new tactic. “Do you want to go somewhere with me tomorrow?”

 

“I’m not supposed to leave The Tower.”

 

“Yeah, fuck that. You’d be with me.”

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“The warehouse. JARVIS found some more weird shit. Happy and I are gonna go check it out.”

 

“I’ll stay here,” he said quietly. 

 

The next day Tony flew out to the warehouse to look over everything himself. 

 

“Well, this was a giant waste of time.”

 

“Was it?” Happy asked.

 

Tony groaned. “I don’t know. Everything is  _ fine _ . Nothing’s missing. Everything is where it ought to be. All of my diagnostics are saying that our security measures are working properly. The only good to come of this is that I’ve now seen it for myself.”

 

“So… only mostly a waste of time, then?”

 

“Yep. Let’s go home.”

 

* * *

 

Tony returned home to a surprisingly empty living room, given that it was still the middle of the day. Usually at this time Loki would be out and doing something. “Hey, JARVIS, where’s Loki?”

 

“He’s in the bedroom, Sir.”

 

“Well, you didn’t miss much,” Tony said opening the door. “Everything was infuriatingly right as… Loki?”

 

The strangest thing Tony might have expected to see was Loki taking a nap. Instead, he found the god naked, curled up against the headboard, his knees pulled up against his chest, his face buried in his arms.

 

As Tony moved towards him, he realized that the room was significantly colder than he usually had it set at. He slowly sat down on the edge of the bed. “You alright?”

 

When Loki still didn’t answer, Tony scooter closer, tentatively draping his arm across his shoulders. With a small sniffle, Loki moved, curling himself up against Tony’s side and...crying? Tony instinctively wrapped his other arm around Loki, pulling him closer. He made a couple of efforts try to get Loki to tell him what was wrong, but when that just seemed to aggravate his distress, he gave up. Instead he busied himself rubbing comforting circles against Loki’s cool back until he finally started to calm down.

 

“D’you feel any better?” Loki just shook his head against Tony’s chest. “What’s going on? Did something happen?”

 

After a moment, Loki finally spoke. “No, not… it’s nothing you need to be concerned about.”

 

Tony frowned. “What am I supposed to do with that? I’m concerned about  _ you _ .” Loki was still in a way that Tony had learned to mean he wasn’t going to get a reply. “Is there anything I can do?”

 

“I want… I need to just… not  _ think _ .”

 

Avoiding thinking wasn’t exactly Tony’s strong suit, but he had a few ideas. Hoping very much that he hadn’t completely misread the situation, he pulled Loki in for a kiss. If Loki was surprised at all, he didn’t show it. He returned the kiss as forcefully as ever, his fingers digging into Tony’s arms. “Can I make--ow.” Loki bit as his lip when he started to talk. “Make a suggestion?” Loki let out a short breath but pulled away, giving Tony room to speak. “In the past, I’ve found that spanking can be a great stress relief.”

 

Loki just blinked at him. “You think I’m going to let you spank me?”

 

Tony shrugged. “It’s just an idea.”

 

Loki took a moment to consider it. “Fine. We can try it.”

 

Tony fixed Loki with his best wolfish grin before pulling the god over his lap and giving him a hard smack.

 

“What the fuck, Stark?” Loki tried to shift up to look at him.

 

“You’re  _ fine _ .” Tony pressed down on Loki’s back with one hand, and attempted to set up a rhythm with the other. A rhythm that Loki seemed either unwilling or else unable to let happen. Instead he managed to squirm and complain until Tony just stopped. But for all the fuss he’d been kicking up, Loki still out a frustrated whine when Tony let up.

 

“You stopped.”

 

“You want me to keep going?” Loki didn’t verbally reply, but did give him a sharp nod. “Then stop talking, be still, and breathe. Let me help you.”

 

Loki, after what was apparently a herculean effort, finally settled down across Tony’s lap. Tony waited a moment until he was sure Loki had gotten comfortable before resuming, this time easily falling into the rhythm that had eluded them before. After a few minutes, Tony noticed that Loki was silently crying, apparently still upset. He slowed down his swats before stopping altogether, instead just rubbing and kneading the abused skin. “Let me know when you feel up to moving.”

 

Tony wasn’t sure how much time passed. He didn’t really care. He just listened as Loki’s breathing slowed until he was sitting up and kissing him again. “...Thank you.”

 

Tony smiled against his mouth. “Do you want to be done?”

 

“No.”

 

He nudged the delightfully complicit Loki until he was further up on the bed. “On your back, then.”

 

He quickly grabbed the lube and slicked up two fingers holding them against Loki’s entrance until he spread his legs wider in invitation. He pressed in without hesitation, earning an appreciative groan. While Tony might like to take his time, he knew what Loki wanted. Without giving him a moment to adjust, Tony was pumping his fingers, making sure to brush against Loki’s prostate with every pass. It wasn’t long before Loki was panting and making desperate noises, pressing against his fingers in a wordless plea for  _ more _ . 

 

“You think you can cum like this? Without me touching your cock?” Loki gasped as Tony dragged his fingernails across his reddened ass.

 

“Maybe.”

 

Tony grinned. “Let’s find out.”

 

It took a while, but Loki did, eventually, manage it, cum spurting across his stomach. 

 

“Good boy,” Tony murmured, kissing Loki’s knee.

 

Loki managed a half-hearted laugh as he laid there panting, his cock going soft. It turned out the god did, in fact, have a refractory period. Who knew? Before Tony could put much thought into getting them cleaned up, the mess was gone, one green eye peeking down at him, a smirk tugging at Loki’s mouth. 

 

“I never said it wasn’t useful,” Tony conceded, running his hands down Loki’s thighs before moving up, letting himself explore Loki’s stomach, chest, arms, pressing kisses as he went. At first Tony though Loki might be content to let Tony just touch, but before long he had grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him up for a hungry kiss. In what Tony still felt was an absurdly short amount of time, Loki’s erection pressed against him. 

 

“Like a fucking teenager.” Tony grinned down at him. “Close your eyes for a moment, I have a surprise for you.” Loki looked intrigued and did as he was asked. But as soon as Tony left the bed, his eyes flew back open. Tony gave him an exasperated look, “You’re gonna ruin your surprise,” he griped. He made a b-line to his closet and returned to the bed with a tie to use as a makeshift blindfold. Although Loki allowed him to loosely tie it around his head, he could see how tense he was. “Just for a second,” he promised.

 

Tony moved quickly to the dresser, retrieving the surprise and returning to the bed. “Fuck,” Loki gasped as Tony pushed the lubed dildo into him. Loki’s brief look of confusion faded when Tony turned it on, vibrations coursing through him. “Oh. Fuck yeah,” Loki grinned at him when Tony removed the blindfold.

 

“So you like the surprise then?” Loki let out a hum of agreement as Tony started moving it, thrusting shallowly into him. He flipped through the settings, giving Loki a taste of the toy’s capabilities. After setting it to the most intense vibrations, Tony ducked his head down, swallowing down Loki’s cock. The god let out a strangled moan as he came for the second time. Tony licked him clean, holding the dildo inside him until Loki whimpered.

 

He pulled himself up the bed, draping an arm over Loki’s chest and tucking his head against his arm, pressing light kisses everywhere in reach. After Loki’s breathing calmed, he made a soft discontented noise.

 

“What’s up?”

 

Loki let out a long breath. “You’re being awfully attentive to my needs. Shouldn’t I be doing something for you?”

 

Tony snorted. “Yeah, I’m actually pretty good in bed when given half a chance.”

 

He would bet money that Loki rolled his eyes, even if he couldn’t see it. “Fine, point taken. But--”

 

“Relax, Loki. You don’t have to be in control of the situation all of the time. I’ve got you.” Loki shifted against him, apparently none to happy with Tony’s assertion. “Look, I’ll prove it to you.”

 

Tony sat up, retrieving the tie and wrapping it carefully around Loki’s wrist. Loki watched with curiosity until he clued in to Tony’s plan as he moved towards the bed frame. “You’re not going to want to do that, Stark.”

 

“What did I just--”

 

“I’m not being contrary for the sake of it,” Loki explained, proving Tony’s assumption that, yes, Loki was often being difficult just for the fun of it. “I  _ will _ break anything you tie me to.” 

 

Tony was reasonably sure Loki was just being dramatic, but between his fondness for the bed, and Loki’s obvious distress, he decided not to chance it, letting the tie fall from Loki’s wrist. “Alright.” He returned to his previous position, curling up against Loki’s side. Loki, however, didn’t quite relax again. “What’s wrong?”

 

“You haven’t cum.”

 

“So?” Loki’s frustrated whine got his attention. “Is is that important to you?”

 

“ _ Yes _ .” 

 

Tony let out the most dramatic sigh he could manage, as if having a partner wanting to make sure he orgasmed was such a hard thing to live with. “Alright. What do you want to do?”

 

Loki was quiet for a moment, thinking. “I want you to hold very still.”

 

Tony let his confusion show on his face as he propped himself up on his arm. “Ok?”

 

Loki sat up pushing Tony over until he was lying flat on his back. “I mean it. Very still.”

 

He nodded, still confused. “Got it. I can hold very still.” His confusion vanished as Loki crawled down the bed, hovering over his cock. “Woah, hey. I don’t want you to--”

 

“I  _ want _ to.” Loki insisted.

 

Tony let out a small sigh. “Then...another time.”

 

He was shaking his head. “I…” Loki’s fingers twitched as he undid Tony’s jeans, pulling his cock free. “I don’t like not being in control.”

 

“Yeah, I’ve gotten that impression.”

 

Loki rolled his eyes. “I don’t like not being in control of myself, either.”

 

“So…?” Tony managed as Loki started stroking him.

 

“So, let me do this. Because right now? I want to.”

 

Tony couldn’t come up with a convincing argument against that, so instead he just shifted so that he could reach down and push his jeans off of his hips. “If you want to, I’m not going to stop you.”

 

Holding still, as it turned out, was considerably more difficult than Tony had expected. For someone who ostensibly didn’t enjoy giving blowjobs, Loki was  _ good _ , wasting no time until he was bobbing his head, taking Tony in until he was nudging against the back of his throat. Tony dug his hands into the sheets, determined to do as Loki asked, but fuck he wanted to. Wanted to thrust up into that wet heat, fist his hand into Loki’s hair and hold him still. He didn’t, but it was a nearer thing than he would admit as Loki swallowed his orgasm.

 

“Jesus,  _ fuck _ .” Tony panted as Loki crawled back up, laying his head against Tony’s chest.

 

“Thank you,” Loki whispered, softly enough that Tony almost couldn’t hear it. He wasn’t sure he was supposed to hear it. Rather than reply, he just wrapped his arm around him and pulled Loki closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: 3-chapter SpideyPool.
> 
> After: I have over 15 prompts/ideas/etc for FrostIron stuff for FBiNS, so there'll be plenty more of that. And that doesn't even include all of the PLOT. :O
> 
> And I'm sure there's some confusion about Loki's reactions to stuff. Please trust me when I say it'll make sense eventually.

**Author's Note:**

> You can follow me on tumblr, [@Haarii-the-quilava](https://haarii-the-quilava.tumblr.com/) if that’s your thing! :D
> 
> Feel free to come chat with me on Tumblr, I love making new friends! I mostly post a bunch of Marvel stuff, but also I reblog things that make me smile, or are relevant to my many other interests.


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